Britney Spears ex-assistant is not a celebrity

August 30th, 2007 // 39 Comments
0829_jamie_kennedy_spears_assistant.jpg

Shannon Funk, the former assistant to Britney Spears, is apparently worthy of paparazzi attention. Granted, she’s sort of hot in a slutty, hey-she’s-not-Britney kind of way. But this chick is not a celebrity. Want further proof? She’s hanging out with Jamie Kennedy. The last person seen in public with Jamie was an Egg McMuffin. But at least the McMuffin wasn’t dishing out free lap dances. Not that Jamie Kennedy would turn one down. I heard he once got an erotic massage from a bagel. I have no evidence to back that up, but this is the gossip biz, so what I say goes. Now on to my next story: “Jamie Kennedy impregnates Whopper with cheese.”

Photos: TMZ
superficial

  1. donkey ass

    First biatches

  2. But I like Jamie Kennedy. He’s one of my “friends”.

    “Don’t be hatin’”

  3. sane

    I didn’t even know jessica simpson used to work for britney spears.

    By the way, the 21st century cliff notes will not record her, or britney spears, or lohan, or any of this shit. Just a few president’s names, maybe even bill gates.

    Just imparting a little perspective.

  4. wedgeone

    YES! I’M BACK! Stoopid network Nazi’s.
    Fish – this is some pretty funny shit you wrote here. Thanks for stepping it up a notch.
    Can Jamie be any more obvious that he’s trying to look up her dress? Can she be any more obvious that she wants him to look up her dress? Can the old man be any more obvious that he want to direct a porn starring these two?

  5. adeliza

    She’s not giving a lap dance, she’s taking it up the ass.

  6. unrecorded history

    #4….it’s true. Lost to history.
    (ambles toward cliff….)

  7. liz

    Her panties suck. I have better ones than her! Want a take a look?

  8. my comment

    She’s showin’ a little sumpthin’ there on couch.

  9. Guy

    Slow newsday, eh fish?

  10. wackingboy

    I’d stick it in and pee.

    Then Jaime Kennedy could have her. I heard he likes sloppy seconds.

  11. You know this assistant kinda reminds me of those Jenna Jameson duck fotos..

  12. Texas Tranny

    @8
    I was thinking the same thing.

    and Yes, I’d love to take a peak.

  13. Riotboy

    I would consider hitting it.

    /after further review… I’d hit it

  14. justplainconfused

    You know, the second guy in pic #2 looks like Bob Hope and Tom Arnold had a love child. Poor Bastard.

  15. big

    How about a nice big nip slip

  16. cookievanderbilt

    By the looks of that cheap spray tan and $25 H&M dress, werkin’ fur Brit Brit must not pay MUCH.

  17. she was totally X’ed there- wow–

    JK did it again — the man is a genius –

    KING KONG AINT GOT SHIT ON HIM!

    fist!!

    ~ 420 ~

  18. Frick!

    What a shameless whore. And Jamie Kennedy looking up your skirt sure doesn’t make you famous. Although I can’t say that she looks any better or worse than Britney.

  19. JrsyGrl

    This is a non-story.

  20. MMMSimmons

    where’s jrzmommy? she can’t hold back from constantly posting–and it’s always sooo witty. she’s a fat ugly lonely turd.

  21. #19 Me too. Up side the head with one of my patent leather platform gogo boots

  22. lambman

    I best she name dropped Brit to get in the door, and Jaimie and the other guy just thought she was another random club skank

  23. adeliza

    My God #15-

    You are right!!!

    Upon 2nd look that dude sooooo has Bob Hope’s nose. You know, he cheated on his wife horribly, notorious about it. He has to have some little shavers out there some where…………

  24. cookie monsta

    #17 – not sure if the pay was the problem when this thing was on Shitme’s payroll, but a lot of the trailer park skank mentality has worn off. She’s just a younger version of BS, without the alleged ‘talent’, so the downward spiral kicked in before the star even rose. Delicious irony.

  25. first?

    http://news.sawf.org/Gossip/41173.aspx

    Britney Spears and Shannon Funk had bisexual romps

  26. LL

    She’s fugly and her mom dresses her funny.

    Yeah, that’s all I got. This skeev isn’t worth any more effort than that.

  27. Kimberlee-Shantel

    If she gets on the website, I better get on it. :(

  28. aussie

    WTF is this bitch and why do I care?

  29. bluejeanbaby

    these pics just make my stomach hurt

  30. cherry

    See Britney has influenced her….next well be seeing her va-jay-jay….

  31. ***

    one more useless bitch…

  32. Also Sprach Val

    Puuuuuuuta.

    The crap I see on the FISH really gives a lot of credence to the whole idea of Nihilism, in theory of course. BUT, god damn, this society is empty, whorish and totally infatuated with itself.

    What a whore. I’m still glad to be blessed with a humble, yet self-loving nature. THAT is what differentiates people like US (I include you all my Fish Blog brothers and sisters) and the animals (like the slut above and all the other FISH food we see here).

  33. BaldAsBritney

    Jamie Kennedy is actually serving her papers for Brits custody case. Thats his new gig, unfunny process server.

  34. Spanky

    Her mother must be so proud.

  35. sharpeidude

    Mother: “She’s a whore Norman…nothing but a dirty whore.”
    Norman: “But I like her mother. She’s not like you say.”
    Mother: “I said she’s a whore, boy. And I don’t want you messing with
    dirty whores. Now you get rid of her you hear!”
    Norman: “Yes mother.”
    Mother: “That’s a good boy, Norman. Remember, no one loves you like your mother.”

  36. It looks like the old man is trying to sell her to the other dude.

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