Britney Spears enticed by Fat Tuesday

February 14th, 2006 // 45 Comments

britneymardi.jpgLouisiana native Britney Spears says she will return to the state to celebrate Mardi Gras later this month, including television appearances and surprises for the residents:

The 24-year-old pop star will appear on ABC’s “Good Morning America” on Feb. 28 (7 a.m EST), when the morning show reports live from New Orleans. ABC announced that Spears will bring “surprises for a group of very deserving young residents.”

I don’t want to spoil her surprises for the young residents, but it sounds to me like car rides! Still, it’s nice to see Britney supporting her hometown again. I guess you can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can’t take the Cheetos from the girl. Seriously, try. She’s got a death grip on those things. She’d rather crush them and eat the powder then let you put just one of your dirty fingers on them.

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  1. HollyJ

    She’s only going for the drive thru daiquaries with weenies. I mean hot dog weenies, not man weenies. But she might eat those too. Like a wolf. With rabies.

  2. Caught Dead In That Dress

    Maybe she’s gonna give out cheetos to the homeless…?

  3. Bitch isn’t even from New Orleans. She’s from Kentwood. HUGE DIFFERENCE. Girls get knocked up at 16 here, not 14.

  4. LaydeeBug

    “Very deserving young residents.” Who the doctors who cured her of the clap Frederline gave her. Did I say cured? I meant diagnosed and are treating….

  5. ESQ

    Actually she is going to be a float all to herself. The theme driving around with baby without a carseat and making up lame excuses as to why.

  6. pixiewoman

    Her dumb ass will probably think it’s perfectly normal to throw her baby off the float instead of moon pies and beads. Show one tit you get the baby, two tits and you get her Cheetos.

  7. HughJorganthethird

    First Katrina and now this shit? Haven’t the people of New Orleans SUFFERED ENOUGH? I mean my god is she actually going to “sing” as well? Oh the humanity….

    Watch the “surpirse” be free copies of her husbands CD.

  8. pookiedoo

    Thanks, Hugh, I can’t stop giggling and now my daughter wants to know why. How do you explain to a four year old that her beloved Britney Spears is a crackwhore douchebag?

  9. Precisely

    LOL Good one pixiewoman!
    She decided not to hand out copies of Popozao. She knew no one would want it. The surprises are actually her old ass scrunchies with some hair left in them.
    Good idea Britney. Really.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    I’m afraid to post anything for fear of another galactic war like on Pink’s post. I love Brittany. She’a great mother and Kevin is a tremendous artist and a wonderful father. Please no one get mad at me again. I can’t take the criticism. I’m delicate like a rose petal in the wind. I can’t wait to see what Brittany brings the people of New Orleans. I am born, raised, and residing in Baton Rouge, only 45 minutes from N.O. I will make the trip just to catch a glimp of the happy Federline clan. Thanks for not being mean. Bye Bye. *sniff, sniff, then a single tear falls*

  11. Fat Tuesday just got a WHOLE lot fatter

  12. playahater101

    I think the last thing the people of New Orleans need is an asshole like Brittany Spears trying to give them a reason to party. She’ll probably hand out autographs to the people. Or better yet, SING!

  13. playahater101

    #11 LOL! She probably thinks Fat Tuesday means all the restaurants are all you can eat.

  14. gailmariecat

    I hope she’s bringing my FEMA trailer

  15. DuckBoy

    WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?! Cheetos? She gets pictured with a bag 2x and now you people think she lives off of them? I sure hope none of you have ever eaten a bag of cheetos because apparantly they make you the scum of the earth.

    Hey asswipes, watch her on Good Morning America on 2/28 and you’ll see that she’s back to her normal weight.

    I can’t wait until she makes a full comeback and is on top of the world again….thinking of all of you sitting at home on your fat asses suffering will be GREAT!

  16. pookiedoo

    I’m convinced that DuckBoy in actually K-Fed…

  17. pookiedoo

    is* stupid me =-P

  18. PapaHotNuts

    Oh my God Pookie, you are right.
    HEY K-FED AT POST # 16!!! POPOZOA ROCKS!!

    Like cinder blocks on a trailer, K-Fed supports his lady.

  19. hafaball

    Cheers everyone! Here’s to the soon to be most depressing Mardi Gras Ever! Woohoo! And I’m sure Britney flashing her saddle bags won’t help very much…eww..picture…in my mind, must stab..

  20. sapphireyez

    Ok, Im new and havent said much at all but…….. #10 PapaHotNuts, I feel bad for you :( I read the rude post on the “Pink thread” and thought, “wow, how uncool is this person?” Sure you say some outrageous things, but Im guessing most of it is in fun.. Your post’s make me laugh, so dont be sad cuz one idiot bashed you… Just keep us all smiling…

  21. sara1beth2

    Yikes, visions of her head butting children to get at the Moon Pies and bags of peanuts while flashing those saggy assed tits. Shudder.

  22. You know, I like Cheetos too. They’re so cheesy and delicious.

    When I was living in China, I was overcome with joy when I saw Cheetos in the supermarket.

    ‘Finally!’ I exclaimed.

    I didn’t understand the writing on the packaging, but I bought a bag of them and tried to devour them all.

    They were Rancid Chicken Stock flavour – terrible and too salty. There waas no cheese in Chinese Cheetos!

    Oh, the humanity.

  23. hemroidhussy

    Look, it’s everybody’s favorite – BRUTE-NEY Spears…

  24. LoneWolf

    It’s really kind of pathetic. She thinks she’s still in show business and that she’s still relevant.

    I take that back – it’s actually pretty funny. Like a dancing monkey. A singing and dancing monkey. Who’s gotten fat and sloppy and – never mind, I think you see where I’m going here.

  25. Is it possible to develop down syndrome in your mid twenties? Her eyes are starting to droop.

  26. pixel killya

    pop star??

  27. Kg

    those are all great comments, people!

    and there’s no way in hell britney said
    “surprises for a group of very deserving young residents.”"

    more like “surprises for them people them youngines” then continued to decorate her float, shaped like a giant divorce-paper

  28. eyespy27

    i bet she’s gonna snort cheeto powder off k-feds dick.

  29. eyespy27

    and she is not back to her normal weight. slap a hair weave on a gorilla and somebody is gonna say how pretty she looks.

  30. M@ce

    You all make fun of Britney, but she has a baby that knows how to drive! An not just some sub-compact but a full size SUV! How many of YOU knew how to drive as an infant?

    Britney is an effin’ genius. Now if she can just teach K-Fed not to fling his feces against the wall…

  31. Brit is also enticed by Fat Wednesday, Thursday, Friday etc.

  32. LickyLicky

    Ho. Lee. Shit. I’m sitting here, crying, laughing, making my dogs look at me like I’m more nuts than usual.

    Spindoc… I think I need to cheat on Papa with you.

    Papa… you didn’t read that.

    GailMarieCat… I hope she brings mine, too, but I want a 40-footer with a pop-out.

    Dickboy… ROTF, dude, you know your middle name is Earl. I still think you’re 12.

    I wonder if her surprise is gonna be little chocolate bars. Because we love chocolate down here. Just ask the mayor.

  33. LaydeeBug

    Up here you can get a huge bag of Cheetos for 99 cents. I love cheetos. They’re funny and they feel good when I crush them in my hoohah. Chester Cheetah is my pimp. He calls me his Cheezy Bitch.

    What the hell is Britney trying to bait America with? (turns head sharply to right and says “Gosh”)

  34. Zed

    I hope the “surprises” she will bring “for a group of very deserving young residents” include her taking a shower that morning, putting a comb through hair, and leaving the non-matching hair extensions and K-Fed at home.

    That alone should simply knock the socks off those “very deserving” young-ins. Anything else is pure gravy.

  35. Evangelia

    ha ha thanks everyone for being so funny. After Valentine’s day I needed that :P

  36. It’s ok papahotnuts…the Pink thread was really amusing until I got to about comment 4,267,643 and then I had a Britney moment where my brain just fried from all the words.

    Does anyone in New Orleans even like Britney Spears? I thought it was a “chocolate” city according to the mayor.

  37. KissMyIS350

    I think Tom Cruise should bang Britney next. That way two formerly-idolized-celebrities-who-everyone-is-laughing-at-now can be together. Maybe scientology can cure her weight problem.

  38. # 29 eyespy, you hit the nail on the HEAD! There is ALWAYS somebody waiting to yell at us for insulting their favorite person no matter how much of a bag of crap the celbrity is..

    #32, Licky, Papa has been cracking me up on here, nice to be mentioned in the same post lol…
    One more thing, Who is going to get more beads, Brit or K-Fed?

  39. LaydeeBug

    OK, can someone puh-leeze tell me why this hack warrants any attention at all aside from the fact that her DAD is actually talented and famous.

    BTW, if this scarecrow is musical in any way (as she claims), why doesn’t she perform something? I mean even I can play “Mary had a little lamb” on a violin and piano. Show me the money, Nicole!

  40. LaydeeBug

    Whoops, #39 was a mistake.

  41. HookEmHorns

    proof that Britney is not only a fat ass, but an unfit parent:
    http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/3660456.html

  42. christee

    no, no, no, you’re all wrong. she’s going to be tossing out packs of marlboro lights to the kiddies! hook ‘em while they’re young, brit-brit…

  43. debs

    Oh, if only the Federlines were hunting partners of the Vice President.

  44. PKClover

    I think she is trying to earn some positive reviews and save her reputation so she can potentially continue to bring home some bacon … on her double bacon cheeseburger … from Wendy’s … with the large fries, and 44oz cola …

  45. debs

    Sometimes, there just aren’t enough cheetos. This girl is a train that has wrecked, been repaired and put back on the track only to wreck again. It’s time to put her out of the public’s misery, and her little k-dawg too!

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