Britney Spears enters and exits rehab

February 16th, 2007 // 69 Comments
britney-spears-rehab.jpg

Britney Spears checked into a rehab facility two days ago but refused to stay and checked out less than 24 hours later. The facility was located outside the country and she’s currently on her way back to Los Angeles.

Wow, a whole day of rehab. I wonder if we’ll even be able to recognize her anymore she’ll be so different.

Source

superficial

  1. Grunt Big

    Fructose!

  2. HotstufLuvmuffin

    These things happen when you have the attention span of Syphillis

  3. sol

    she said she was addicted to motherhood but the rehab staff said they saw no signs of that whatsoever, so she was discharged.

  4. danielle

    She probably didn’t “leave”.

    It’s more believeable to say that she:

    “Was thrown out due to the potent stench of rotten cheetos, doritos, fritos and burritos that came out whenever she farted..which is like always, totally”.

  5. misanthrope

    All better now. She probably had to a shower and then be fully clothed. Sure it’s hard to stop drinking and doing the drugs, but quiting slutty is pretty hard for Britney.

  6. Meritocrat

    Pathetic

  7. She is so brave! 24h of rehab!humm now only prescribed drugs …

  8. jesseeca

    So basically she just took a page out of Lindsey’s book. I always knew this beyotch was a wannabe.

  9. di

    hey superfish, was just wondering if you were based in california (LA) or somewhere else. you’re hilarious. awesome job you’ve got.

  10. sid

    Ugliest pic yet.

    Shouldn’t this whore be at home, loving her kids and making a life for them, instead of barfing into a cab at 4 AM? It’s not as if she has to work 40 hours a week, is it?

    A repulsive excuse for a human being.

    And a weak story, too. Probably got my song request thing bumped. Might have to bring the party here…

  11. bedbugsandballyhoo

    Rehab to Britney means going in after a bender and having “medicinal” help sobering up so the hangover won’t be so painful. Now she’s ready to go out and do it all over again!

  12. sid

    Nope, my song request help is still in:
    “Britney Spears’ ex-assistant expresses disapproval”

    Just thought I’d mention it. Y’see, there’s a song I need help with…identifying it. I’ve gotten some nice replies :)

    Anyway, Britney….ugh….just….

    …blech…

  13. Jezebel

    Her drunk ass thought she was entering a Taco Bell!

  14. tweedlebugb

    Britney is a dummy. She should have never been allowed to procreate.

  15. livingceleb

    She left after meeting a great guy there who wants to father more of her children…actually they kicked her out b/c she wasn’t wearing shoes.

  16. BarbadoSlim

    I’ve posted this before but, this will be THE, AWESOMEST DEATH …..EVER!

    y’all

  17. I wonder how long before she becomes the next Anna Nicole Smith………….

  18. mrs.t

    Her people need to all forget about whatever drug/alcohol problems she might have and worry a lot more about their jobs. The real intervention should include: cleaning her the fuck up. washing her hair, mani/pedi,waxing and get the makeup artist back from 5 years ago. Then, ENCOURAGE her to go out every night. They need to keep the machine rolling if they want their checks to clear.

  19. wedgeone

    And in more news about people in rehab – Nicole Richie is officially charged with DUI from her arrest in November. If convicted, she’ll do 90 days in jail. AWESOME!
    http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=televisionNews&storyID=2007-02-16T210536Z_01_N1642716_RTRIDST_0_TELEVISION-RICHIE-DUI-DC.XML

  20. ch474

    She keeps doing what I thought was impossible and making K-tard look like a responsible parent. Kevin, say hello to many millions of dollars. Have a nice life. Go away.

  21. wedgeone

    Remember, today’s news NOT brought to you by the Fish!
    BTW, #11, right on! The rehab center must have been in Mexico.

  22. sid

    On the main page, under the Brit pic is one of ANS…

    …y’know, Brit is like, what, 20? 21? Something like that? And ANS was almost 40?

    Man, just look at the two on the main page.

    I don’t care how old ANS was, I’d love to (providing she wasn’t dead, of course) tear into ANS like a big Thanksgiving dinner.

    She may have been a gold-digger and a fuck-up, but DAMN that was a real slab of WOMAN!

    Britney is….a stupid pile of pizza dough somebody dropped on the floor…and sneezed on.

    ANS, you may have been a fuckin’ stripper, but I respect you more than Brit, the Mouseketeer who flashes her poonaner to grab a few headlines.

    I mean, just look at those pics, guys. Damn!

  23. doodee head

    Go team K-Fed.

  24. schack

    i actually feel bad for her.

    britney- you are rich as fuck. get a good broker, move to some corner of the earth!

    you want company? i’ll go with you, as long as you take care of room and board

  25. biatcho

    I would fucking take off too if I hung out in a place with a bunch of boozehounds and there wasn’t a drop of liqor in sight.

  26. biatcho

    oh my god shack… did we just have our bbq??

  27. Convent Girl

    Let’s all hope that she’ll enter rehab somewhere here in the States……Britney has become utterly pathetic, & it would be horrible if she did die…..Please Brit….GET HELP!

  28. LL

    She doesn’t need rehab, she needs Henry Higgins. Which, in the 21st century, I guess means the Queer Eyes. Only I think they’re gonna need a couple more queers. They’re gonna need two for her hair alone and probably one just to keep checking that she has underwear on. Oh, and she needs some book learnin’. Start out slow with “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Cat in the Hat,” work your way up to “Little House on the Prairie.” You can do it Brit. In a few years, you’ll be able to outwit your own children. But you gotta start now.

  29. Kevin_FederSwine

    I can tell that Britney’s really, really serious about her comeback…not just screwing around. I predict that by next month at this time she’ll be trim and slim and dancing half nekkid with a NEW giant snake, and every male from age 13 to 100 will desire her in ways that cannot be described here, and probably quite a few women too because she’s made no secret that her preference in sexual partners is “anyone with a pulse.” I can’t wait for “Oops, I Did It Again…AGAIN,” or whatever the new smash disco / techno / house / rap / punk / salsa / trance-reggae / ambient / funk hit from Miz Brandine will be called, because I really believe that she won’t try to recycle her OLD crap…this will be NEW crap, GROUNDBREAKING crap, and she’ll be HOT and beautiful and the world’s bestest MOM and we’ll all be ASHAMED for doubting her for a single MINUTE. Yep…right now, she’s just pigging out, kicking back, taking time to smell the roses…or burrito supremes and Big Macs…and she’ll re-discover shampoo and soap and ab crunches and WOW, will it be AWESOME. And you’ll all be lining up to drink from the trough and apologize for calling her a washed-up white trash has-been who seldom bathes, chain smokes, drinks like a fish, and desperately needs to cover up her bald little over-worked monkey with a pair of Underoos. Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful!

  30. sid

    Another thing…about those pics on the main page…

    Notice how the losers around Anna look like losers? Nobodies?

    Well, in the Brit pics (in general), she looks like all the nobodies in the background. Remember those pics of her with the strippers? If you weren’t told it was her, you’d just glance at that pic and not notice her amongst the other stupid, dirty whores.

  31. She thought it was a thirteen step program… nevermind, it’s just easier to call her stupid.

  32. sid

    29: Hee hee :D

  33. woodhorse

    looks like she at least thought about it – with that and #24 she just might be able to turn around- I think she loves her kids. I remember too many early twenty parents who were going out many evenings as well and they and their kids did fine. I think she probably hasn’t been worse than Danielle but that’s not a good example. She’s better than jrzmommy but that doesn’t mean much either.

  34. Lobo

    24 schack -
    I wanna go too, except I got dibs on the off the porch dog kicking job!

  35. you know what? maybe that was all she needed. maybe while she was in there, she realized that Kevin was a “figment” of her imagination and Isaac Cohen wasn’t sex, he was a man with a lookalike in a porno. Or maybe she thought she wasn’t skinny or drugged enough. who knows? i heard she was concentrating on losing “at least” 230 lbs (5 pounds more than what she weighs). hey! she can always do what the olsen twin did. become a has-been and gain attention from the media by not eating. it worked for nicole richie!
    ~N@ughty

  36. If we distributed her babies to the guys who are claiming paternity for Anna Nicole’s kid, then everyone would be happy

  37. dr phil

    I just saw this little blurb about the story:

    ‘”Extra” reports that Spears’ rehab stint comes after months of hard partying, public vomiting and awkward photographs of her where she inadvertantly displayed her genitals.’

    Kids, I want you to describe your mom in one sentence…

  38. misanthrope

    @37… LMAO. But, they’ll need to amend the ‘inadvertantly’.

  39. crazybroad

    What the fuck is wrong with this girl that she somehow thinks any of this is OK?!?!?! I know she’s just a trashy skank, but seriously … I don’t even have the energy anymore. She’s hopeless. And likely dead before the end of the year.

  40. allyoops!

    I am the young age of 23, but even I rmember when rehab used to be something that was moderately damaging to one’s reputation, and for all intensive purposes was a last resort.

    However, Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears are apparently too brain dead to remember those days.

    Well, they are either braindead, or a new club opened up called “rehab” and they thought that’s where they were going. When they realized the mistake they made they immediately left.

    This scenario actually sounds like a plot for CSI:Miami….

  41. DUTCH

    Angie Atkins sucks a good dick!!

    N@ughty, N@ughty

  42. schack

    alright, wolfie, you kick the porch, and i’ll kick the porsche, into 5th, that is. but only if your britchelence wants me t.

  43. allyoops!

    p.s. @37….absolutely hysterical

  44. mybella

    She looks like a cross between a man and Mr. Ed in that photo – sheesh she’s losing her looks fast.

    She probably left rehab when she realized they don’t serve drugs there. D’oh! Britney.

  45. schack

    37 excellent

  46. RussianMafia

    Rehab is synonymous for last resort damage control

    Damage control for Brit at this point is like applying a band aid to a torn rectum. Or something.

  47. butterflywendy

    HIDEOUS!! I wish I had her mirror…

  48. pekpekshorts

    i saw britney walk into a rest stop bathroom barefoot. what a nasty chick.

  49. Stink

    Where’s the Superfish Dead Pool? I have $20 I want to put on Skanky McSkankson here.

  50. WiseMan

    Ugly fat potato headed slut.

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