Britney Spears dumped by Isaac Cohen

February 7th, 2007 // 47 Comments
britney-spears-dumped.jpg

Isaac Cohen reportedly broke up with Britney Spears over the phone Sunday night while she was in New York and he was in Los Angeles. Isaac’s agent confirmed the split, saying: “They are no longer an item.” A friend of Isaac claims he was “looking to get out of the relationship for awhile,” adding:

“It was a bit much for him. There was a lot of drama – it was too much of a whirlwind. It wasn’t one thing in particular. He likes her. They had a good time together. He was doing his best to help her out – but there is only so much one person can do.”

This isn’t like getting dumped by George Clooney, this is like getting dumped by the crazy guy who lives by himself in the woods. Isaac Cohen is a nobody and Britney Spears is filthy fucking rich. She could have a tiny old man growing out of her back and he theoretically would’ve stayed with her, so how far off the scale must she be where he was like, “This is just too much.” I’m guessing it was her constant oinking in bed. It takes a powerful mind to deal with unwillingly having sex with a farm animal.

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  1. SaraLuppino

    FIRST! shes nasty!

  2. SaraLuppino

    And she deserves to get dumped…. SHE IS JUST HORRIBLE LOOKING. Paris dumped her, no one likes her, shes fat. Ew god. Issac, good job buddy!

  3. Mrs. Fiesty

    Um…isn’t that what you do with trash? Dump it! She is so over, she should just move back home and live quietly like Reese W. did (but Resse has WAY more class). Poor Britney…wait, homegirl’s rich, she can afford to do better than this.

  4. So she’s a rich star, who can’t even keep a poor star-fucker from dumping her? She must be the most annoying person on the planet! (Besides George Michael)

  5. HollyJ

    I bet he kept finding stale Cheetohs in her who-ha

  6. The Devil's Prom Date

    “I just drank a half a gallon of tanqueray and liquid plum’r and paid some one to dress me like a special ed student and then beat me with a pillowcase full of D-batteries, y’all!”

  7. tim

    That picture is pretty much what Marc Anthony’s wife should look like.

  8. RussianMafia

    wtf? Something has got to be going on there. drugs must be it, I just don’t get it

  9. oh, you sly boots.

    Autism.

  10. Ed Bambrick

    The topic is about Britney, but the Fish posted a pic of Steven Seagal? I don’t get it…

  11. BigJim

    He dumped when he found out her cooter still tastes like FedEx spooge.

    Steven Seagal — that’s some funny shit!

  12. whackjob

    isn’t it funny that Federfuck and Nick LaDouchez are the ones that made out? Money or no, ugly is as ugly gets.

    Flashes of Conan’s celeb photo-morphing, this one of Gagzilla and Jessica’s tranny pic from yesterday.

  13. polypam

    “looking to get out of the relationship for awhile”…

    And they were “together” for how long? A minute and a half? Boy, things really ARE different in Hollywood.

  14. Another day, another Britney t-shirt with a wet spot/mystery stain.

    What the hell?

  15. Lowlands

    I guess this guy didn’t get the chance to get his hands laid on her money.In this way he lost totally his interest…I think Britney is more clever with how to maintain her fortune as we may think.How about you folks?

  16. Lowlands

    I mean if she’s always as dumb as usually,her fortune would be in constant danger.I’ll bet she got accountants and consultants for this.

  17. N@ughty

    well on the other hand, there’s always scientology. but no way! britney’s too nasty for all that! she could be at church with tom and katie (if they have a church for scientology) listening to all the crap they’re saying and let out a big fart for everyone to hear (and smell). hmm…what about pathetic loser and fat whore rehab?
    ~N@ughty

  18. NicotineEyePatch

    15/16, maybe the ‘handlers’ also have her on a strict budget. She sure is saving money on clothes, haircolour, hot water, soap, and lip waxes.

  19. Steven Seagal… lolz

  20. magickal

    Eewwwwww! Fugly, crusty herpe lips! Someone get that girl some abbrevia. (sp?!)

  21. wow….dumped by some loser who was only using you to get popular in the first place; that’s just sad, even for britney!

  22. Lowlands

    Can anybody see if she’s wearing the homeless man’s gloves?

  23. kamihi

    cokehead surely? If this is what fame & immense wealth does to you I am not sure I want it?! Nah, scratch that I’ll take the immense wealth.

  24. whitegold

    “looking to get out of the relationship for a while”?!? Umm, didn’t the relationship just start? So what, like, after the first date he was already trying to get away from her?

    And where the heck did he find that pic hahahaha…damn she looks horrid!!!!

  25. UNCLE NED

    That’s a picture of someone who’s very sad. All she ever wanted to give us, was some cute, sexy, teen fun with her dancing etc, and now it’s all gone completely and morbidly wrong. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m starting to feel sorry for her.

  26. Niecy

    Looking at that picture, I can see why he would dump her. Its either her vagina showing, or she looks like crap. There is nothing in between.
    But who is Isaac Cohen, besides being the guy who just broke up with Britney Spears? Was he trying to start a rap career like Fed-Ex?

  27. misanthrope

    @10… Ed: Steven Seagal indeed. Well done sir. :)

  28. bedbugsandballyhoo

    I think it was the mustache that finally did him in. She can wax her netheregions, but not her upper lip?

  29. tim

    Isaac said he dumped her after hearing God’s voice coming from a burning bush. Turns out it was just a few misinterpreted Lohan queefs. She really holds a grudge.

  30. wedgeone

    #10 – lol. Just off camera, you can see Carrot Top, as Steven’s “wingman”. You should share some of your wit & wisdom with that goofy Edna, dude.

    Where did Fish get this pic? How old is it? Can’t airbrush this pic enough to make it attractive, folks.

  31. here

    This will all work out when she moves to Redding and opens a Jazzercise studio. I’ll move up there and get a job with Cal-trans. Dinner better be hot when I get home.

  32. caljenna

    Pardon my ignorance, but is she Jewish again? Last time I heard, she was gonna be Hindu. What is with these celebrities, changing their faith like they change their (dirty, smelly, grease-stained) tee shirts.

  33. I wonder if she’s bought a double-wide yet?

    I’ll still shag her in the pooper.

  34. #32: I thought her new jewelry was odd, so I looked up your question earlier, as I thought she denounced religion in lieu of her kids/critters.

    Apparently she started to become Jewish for Isaac.. so somehow, their relationship was at the ‘Change my religion’ stage for her and the ‘break up over the phone’ stage for him.

  35. #25….. Not sure if you meant it like that but LOVED your use of the word “Morbidly”

    As in, if Britney doesn’t watch it she will soon be a morbidly obese Pig.

  36. I’m pretty sure she has a mustache.

  37. WiseMan

    She looks like a fucking potato head.

  38. WiseMan

    Nasty vile piece of cum bucket shit.

  39. WiseMan

    Nasty vile piece of cum bucket shit.

  40. Lily

    omg i’m Jewish and i want to tear that necklace off her neck. she is so sickening. britney, that’s not a fashion accessory, and we don’t want you.

    this is the worst photo i’ve ever seen of her! i think she is turning into Rosie O’Donnell!!

  41. sexybitch

    Dumped a week before Valentine’s Day!

  42. j

    (Shaking My Head) She looks nasty

  43. Chemicakitty

    My dog has one word to describe Britney: ruff.

  44. metaphor

    I actually feel sorry for her. Being dumped by loser after loser, now that’s got to hurt.

  45. HughJorganthethird

    I heard her clit-cock was bigger than his actuall unit.

  46. Yourfairytale

    Why is she wearing that huge, blingy Star of David? She is NOT Jewish, no matter what she likes to think.

  47. by who? why the hell would you break up with britney if you’re a nobody?

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