Britney Spears doesn’t trust Kevin Federline

May 4th, 2006 // 108 Comments

federline-babysitter.jpgBritney Spears has allegedly hired a bodyguard to keep on eye on Kevin Federline and make sure he doesn’t misbehave when he goes out. An insider tells In Touch magazine:

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  1. pinky_nip

    @49: For once you & I agree… you’re annoying.

  2. Italian Stallion

    @49 We have a new MEGANHARRIS everyone and this one is just as fucking stupid….

    EVERYTIME HILARIOUS PEOPLE WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT IS SO TRUE I’LL BLOW TOM CRUISE AT THE MALL…I WILL DO THIS. YES I’M ANNOYING BUT SO IS MY FACE…….

  3. Iambananas

    Okay, not you are just being stupid… you have no idea about my person, yet you make comments about my… that makes you an idiot.

    Introverted haters.

    pinky_nip (after he ate Italian Stallion):

    http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/rids/20060503/i/ra3638003344.jpg?x=380&y=301&sig=.3TDMwGz1f4iLs48k3jM5w–

  4. Iambananas

    I find you annoying and your face is too, so were even (to stoop down to the children’s level).

    Do you understand that… or smaller words?

  5. Iambananas

    Anyone who uses the “f” word if stupider than a house fly… you show ignorance and can’t ever hide it.

    Kind of like the huge mole on your face (see, dosen’t make sence because I don’t know you!!) But, you probably don’t understand that, so, wasted logic.

  6. Iambananas

    Now, I’m changing my screen name so you childish folks know even less.

  7. Ugh GOD Kfed is annoying! i was hoping the announcement was the new baby is not his, and he’s going to go back to being a back up dancer.

  8. Iambananas

    Oh, that would be an awesome announcement!! I really don’t like k-ed… he’s bringing Britney down.

  9. suzy

    ok, when you need to hire a babysitter for your husband… your marriage is over

    that’s just fucking pathetic

  10. Lou

    #59 what’s bringing Britney down is her huge ass.

  11. PapaHotNuts

    @ 58
    MeganHarris, was that really you in that picture posted this morning and yesterday?

    Because if it was, you are the either the ugliest woman I have ever seen, or the prettiest water buffalo I have ever seen.

  12. jess[hearts]you

    she cant trust him yet she’s over here popping out his babies… wow, good job britney, you get three golden stickers

  13. krisdylee

    I’ll answer BigJim’s questions on behalf of lambanas:

    “I was 9 when I lost my cherry, I’ve been with 634 men, and one woman (my cousin Sally, who deflowered me at the tender age of 9)I love anal, especially with giant dildos greased up with butter, I always videotape it, to prove to my friends that I do indeed get laid, and each tape you order is 19.95, although for you BigJim, I’ll do a two for one deal. One time only..”

  14. mamacita

    lambananas, are you serious? Let me explain something to you. Changing your screen name will not help because your stupidity is such that it cannot be disguised by a mere screen name. It will show itself no matter what you do to hide it. Also, changing your screen name because you can’t take the beating you receive every time you open your piehole is the height of immaturity. I’m just sayin’.

    P.S.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

  15. krisdylee

    mamacita, you delicious cunty bitch, I have missed you soooo much.

  16. krisdylee

    Lambananas:
    Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo you and the horse you rode in on…

  17. PapaHotNuts

    krisdylee, krisdylee
    a name so nice I had to say it twice.

    lambananas, lambananas,
    a name so ridiculous I had to pray that you got hit by a bus, twice, just to be sure you died.

  18. booface

    #40
    That is some funny shit. BigJim you have been exposed!

  19. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    YAY, Dr. Rockter, that was way fun.

    And krisdylee, nicely done. Nicely done.

    P.S.
    Lambananas, I thought it was just a typo to first time, then I started to doubt it when I kept on seeing it happen. It’s DOESN’T, not dosen’t. Spelling phonetically just doesn’t (HA) cut it all the time. The English language can be a confusing bitch, huh?

    P.P.S.
    Don’t quit your dayjob. Your poems are effing ridiculous.

  20. booface

    Papa, What are you talking about? I thought MeganHarris looked like Kirsten Dunst in that picture.

  21. Italian Stallion

    Mamacita, according to #56 we are showing our ignorance so I just put my FUCKING dick away…….

    Lambananas, why must you keep showing this picture of yourself, it wasn’t funny the first fucking five times, so he has one big testicle, big deal…….

    If you change your screen name thats cool I’ll just look for the 20 lame posts you always seem to write, really what you need to do is change websites……SHUT YOUR MANPLEASER, I can smell asshole and it’s not becoming……..

  22. TaiTai

    Wait a minute people, let’s focus for a second. The real story here is that after a distinguished government career in the CIA, you have a second career to look forward to….as Kevin Federline’s babysitter! Geez, public service is a bitch.

  23. booface

    PapaNutThack, I found you on myspace.

    I’m on my way to the airport now. I’m stalking you!

  24. purplepuppy

    If that’s the way you need to conduct your life, then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MARRIED TO HIM!!!!! Why the F**K do you stay with him if you think/know he going to act like a sleaze-bag the second you let him out or your sight. You are a dumb c**t-bag Britney, no wonder he thinks he can get away with murder. He can party, spend your money, leech off of what’s left of your fame, pay attention to the kids when he feels like it, etc., etc. and you keep him around. It’s your own damn fault, get a brain and backbone moron!

  25. mamacita

    @66

    Sorry, krisdylee. I’ve been really busy being deliciously cunty.

  26. Kbartender

    Yay this is fun!

    1. 19
    2. 4
    3. 0
    4. Yes
    5. You betcha
    6. Yes
    7. I don’t have the tape :(

  27. pinky_nip

    Lameassbananas: don’t fucking fuck with me. You’ve been blasted by the cool kids.

    Run along now and go tell your mommy, you fucking tattle tail.

    Fuck you.

  28. booface

    #66

    “Deliciously cunty bitch.” I love it love it LOVE it!! What an honor.

  29. gogoboots

    You mean “is not allowed to pee without asking for permission first”. Anyway, HAHA! K-Fed the mega-loser is being baby-sat. Why waste the extra money and time B, just let him go?!

  30. Yes. The Avatar image is me.

  31. dark

    Since the last babysitter they had put a nice big crack in Sean P’s head, maybe the new one will do the same for K-Fed.

  32. If we can all be serious for a second…..I have something to say to Britney.

    You dumb fucking twat. If you don’t trust him, dump him. Is that too tough for you to figure out shithead?

    OK, I’m through being serious. Oh, but if anybody sees Tom Cruise, could you tell him I think I left my class ring somewhere and could he get it back to me next time he takes a dump?

  33. gossipmonger

    http://www.myspace.com/mmateo

    This is MeganHarris’ myspace… for real.. linked from his own blogspot even…
    So I still dont understand why a guy would continuously pretend to be female, and yet make it so easy to find out the truth…

    just wonderin’…

  34. BigJim,
    1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 14
    2. How many men have you slept with? 6
    3. How many women? 1
    4. Ever done anal? No
    5. If yes to #4, did you like it? N/A
    6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? No
    7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? No
    lmfao.

  35. Jacq

    #76 – That sounds like something Hannibal Lecter would say, but I DEFINITELY think it’s a compliment of the highest regard.

  36. Italian Stallion

    @81 MEGANHARRIS what about the one in the Britney thread that shows you getting an award for scaring away the groundhog and getting us a extra 6 week’s of winter……By the way thanks for that dickface………

  37. DuckBoy

    They look so nice in that picture. Good luck to them, and I don’t believe everything I read in the tabloids or on this site.

  38. BigJim

    My sincerest thanks to all who completed the survey (krisdylee, I would be far more interested to read about your responses, that those of the loser, fuckwit, inbred jerkoff lamebananauphisass).

    I now have some fresh masturbation material.

  39. krisdylee

    Just 4 U, BigBoyJim,

    I was 18, ironically to a guy I used to call my “Italian Stallion” (no shit), I am not sure how many guys, around 17… is that high or low??? No women, :( but does it count that I would if I could??? Does that constitute cheating on my husband??? Anal, nope… other stuff, oh, yes indeedy. (ie, sex in public, the odd spanking, blindfolds, etc..) Video, I’d love to…. now that the Flames are out, you should make one of your own and then we’ll swap…

  40. TaftHartley

    NOTICE:

    LAMBABANAS has changed its sign in name to

    LAMEANDANASS

    …By mistake

  41. Just Jules

    Divorce looms on the horizon. I wonder if Britney was smart enough to get a water-tight prenup signed before she married this goldigging loser.

  42. lomies

    was this supposed to be her big announcement?

  43. There is no way those two clowns are going to make it.

  44. mamadough

    hey, what thread was MEGANHARRIS’s pic in?

    and in case anyone gives a shit…

    1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16
    2. How many men have you slept with? 3, currently going to get married to #3
    3. How many women? 0
    4. Ever done anal? nope
    5. If yes to #4, did you like it? NA
    6. Ever filmed yourself having sex?not yet, saving that for the honeymoon
    7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? hahahaha, no :|

  45. ebayfan414

    I heard that Britney makes Kevin pay a dollar every time he wants to use the john.

  46. can’t wait for K-Fed’s album to be released, so it can be scorned…

  47. Fa Cube Itches

    Just more proof that Britney’s a ‘tard. I guess she hasn’t been paying attention to the CIA’s track record for the last two decades:

    1. Fall of Berlin Wall? Nope, didn’t predict that.

    2. Fall of Soviet Union? Nope, didn’t predict that.

    3. Fall of Shah of Iran? Nope, didn’t predict that.

    4. Rise of al-Qaida and other muslim extremist groups? Nope, didn’t predict that.

    These guys have blown it more than Tom Cruise in the last 20. Even as dumb as K-Fed is, he’ll probably be able to impregnate at least half of the strippers in North America before the CIA gets wind of it. Assuming, of course, that he invites Richard in, explains exactly what he’s doing during the act and sends videotapes after. If he actually tries to hide it, the guy will never find out.

  48. Iambananas

    Then I’ll take your mother Dorthy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.

  49. TrannyGranny

    I love quizzes!

    How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17… the same night I kissed a girl for the first time
    2. How many men have you slept with? Just LandMan, and he cried like a little girl
    3. How many women? 16, and I’m gonna bang the chick that runs the front desk before I check out.
    4. Ever done anal? yes.
    5. If yes to #4, did you like it? doesn’t feel as good as the ol’hoo hoo
    6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? still photos
    7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? No, fuckbag, we erased it!
    7. Have you ever touched yourself at work? I’m touching myself now
    8. If yes to #7 were you caught? I’m in the lobby
    9. Aren’t you Canadian?no, but my dad was. he managed to escape.
    10. If yes to 10 have you ever had sex in a mounty hat? No. but I have had sex WITH a mounty hat.

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