Britney Spears has allegedly hired a bodyguard to keep on eye on Kevin Federline and make sure he doesn’t misbehave when he goes out. An insider tells In Touch magazine:
Britney Spears doesn’t trust Kevin Federline
May 4th, 2006 // 108 Comments
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Lindz_Blowhan | May 4, 2006 at 11:46 am
popozao has a sitter! how cute.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 11:46 am
FIRST! GO BRITNEY! Beat that SOB into submission!
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 11:47 am
Being that we
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 11:47 am
Damn.
SuperSpence | May 4, 2006 at 11:47 am
“Kevin should just be glad he isn’t forced to wear a leash and is allowed to pee without asking permission first.”
REPLY: Assuming an awful lot, aren’t you? How do we know that isn’t how it is? I wouldn’t allow that guy to take a leak without permission. He’d head straight for the nearest potted plant or sink.
Digypoke | May 4, 2006 at 11:48 am
Why? it had said to him that it would remain beautiful and thin all its life? what a lying!
http://bilybop.free.fr
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 11:48 am
That’s weird. They have this new thing where you can’t post immediately after you’ve posted, you’ve got to wait “a short time”. Something about an effort to curb “abusive posts”. How that’s going to work, beats me.
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 11:49 am
And I thought I was whipped.
Derek Hail | May 4, 2006 at 11:50 am
In this particular case, the picture they posted on the last KFED post this one:
http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/04/britney-spears-hires-babysitter-for-kfed/
Works the best with the following caption -
“Britney, I aint need no baby sitta. I’m gangsta.”
Or maybe, if hes not gangster enough, he could talk about how he use to shoot at people as a kid to promote his rap album.
I can’t decide if KFED is trying to be the polar opposite of eminem or not. Eminem did what he wanted when he wanted. KFED has to answer to Britney. How will anyone take him seriously?
Providentius | May 4, 2006 at 11:51 am
I’m sorry, but is this woman retarded? I mean, till death do us part is all well and good, but COME ON! You are wasting your life with this douche!
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 11:51 am
Maybe Tom Cruise will dress up like Mrs. Doubtfire and look after him.
MiamiGoldenPantherr | May 4, 2006 at 11:51 am
#3 Do you really think any woman will answer those silly questions?
AS FOR KEVIN, HE IS S PARASITE, I CANT BELIEVE SHE S WASTING MONEY ON THAT PIECE OF SHIT LOSER.
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 11:52 am
#12:
Certainly not an ugly one like you.
BarbadoSlim | May 4, 2006 at 11:53 am
Doesn’t the CIA teach its operatives to kill a man with like…I don’t know, a Tampon?
She’s not getting her money’s worth.
djyuckfou | May 4, 2006 at 11:54 am
another proud moment in there relationship..talk about beating a dead horse!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 11:54 am
Why doesn’t she just get rid of him? What an embarrassment he is. I know she’s pregnant again, but having him around as a “father” isn’t exactly going to beneficial to their babies’ lives. Little Sean Preston is going to grow up to be as much of an ass as his dad.
And Britney, can we talk? If you KNOW your husband is an untrustworthy, scuzzy loser, WHY, oh WHY, are you still having sex with him? And if you choose to have sex with him, be RESPONSIBLE to the next generation and get on birth control!
But this IS Britney we’re talking about, and she’s not exactly the picture of responsibility. *sigh*
Italian Stallion | May 4, 2006 at 11:55 am
I hope her plan backfires and he falls in love with Costner……….
playahater101 | May 4, 2006 at 11:57 am
#3 to answer your questions, 1)18 2)6, 3)0 4)tried it once, it hurt too bad 5)never did it 6)yes 7)no. I’m boring. Maybe I’m just a normal woman :)
I think Brit is actually smart to do that. There must be a good reason. I’m sure he’s screwed around with a whole lotta girls without her knowing and I’m sure he’s drinking, snorting, smoking whatever anyone hands him. He obviously can’t be trusted. She needs to protect herself and her money before it’s all gone.
playahater101 | May 4, 2006 at 11:58 am
Then again, if she needs to hire someone to have him watched, then she needs to rethink this whole marriage. Trust is a big part of being married.
Lala | May 4, 2006 at 11:59 am
She can’t hold onto her baby…She can’t hold onto her husband…She can’t hold onto her figure…She can’t hold onto that tiny shred of dignity she has left…the list goes on and on!
PocketRocket | May 4, 2006 at 11:59 am
When will these inbred, mouth-breathing Swamp Rats run out of money? Maybe then they’ll be out of the limelight
Tom Cruise Loves Cajun Cock
Lindz_Blowhan | May 4, 2006 at 12:01 pm
#11, almost spit my coffee! tc would feel right at home in women’s clothes….hell, he’s probably all over Katie’s maternity wear.
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 12:03 pm
Thanks, #22, now if you will please answer the questions in #3 for me…
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 4, 2006 at 12:04 pm
#22,
He’s also probably trying to breastfeed. I’ve heard that if you try really really hard stimulating the nipple, after a long time, you can actually produce milk, even if you haven’t had a baby. No joke. It’s in my “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book I got when I was pregnant.
pinky_nip | May 4, 2006 at 12:04 pm
@8 BigJim: I thought you enjoyed the whipping last night?
P.S. 15/many/5/yes/yes/yes… oh yes!!!!
UNWASHEDMASSES | May 4, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Let me get this straight – Britney employs an ex-CIA agent? No wonder the intel on Iraq was off base if this is the quality hires the CIA is making. How can this guy look at himself in the mirror every morning? How can he not draw his razor across his throat in disgust? Once a defender of America, of the free world, and now reduced to babysitting K-Fag?? On the next 24, Special Agent Jack Bauer plays nanny to Bobby Brown.
missscoobie | May 4, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Tom loves the hickory smoked cock too.
as far as brittany goes, I’m sorry, she’s asking for it people.
any sympathy I had for this peckerwood has dried up like paris hilton’s twat.
St.Minutia | May 4, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Britney is at least as retarded as k-fed. I am 100% behind any decision that will ensure the end britney’s career. Team Spears-Federline!
Just as long as there are NO MORE statues of her giving birth. Please?
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 12:08 pm
#12, see #18 & 25 (and I’m sure there will be more.
Nyah, Nyah! Fatty!
Lindz_Blowhan | May 4, 2006 at 12:09 pm
If you must know……
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 18
2. How many men have you slept with? 14
3. How many women? 0
4. Ever done anal? yes
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? perhaps
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? yes
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? silly rabbit
86 | May 4, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Duuuude. How can he still get it up? He’s practically a woman.
BarbadoSlim | May 4, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Diary of a retired CIA agent entry:
All I remember was this, he had been standing on top of that Maserati, Po po Popozao PO PO POPO ZAO, POPO ZAO again and again and again, next thing I knew, I had broken his neck…now I live in Burma.
pinky_nip | May 4, 2006 at 12:12 pm
I’ve been looking to change careers… I think I would actually love to be K-fag’s babysitter and scold him whenever he fucks up. Maybe I could put on one of those dog collars and zap his ass when he gets out of line.
I’ve got to go update my resume.
tinkerbelle | May 4, 2006 at 12:12 pm
britney has absent-daddy and controlling-mommy issues. she’ll repeat this scenario the rest of her life. byeeeeeeeeee!!
tinkerbelle | May 4, 2006 at 12:14 pm
#32 – haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! great!!! I luv BarbadoSlim.
Binky | May 4, 2006 at 12:14 pm
I think # 3 should answer his own questions before asking others to.
(Of course the answer to the first is likely ‘still waiting’ so I suppose that excludes the others.)
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 12:18 pm
No kidding… how about a bodyguard for the babies??? (To protect them against K-Brit)
pinky_nip | May 4, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Oh yeah! Lameassbananas just posted! “It’s” posts make me feel like I’m watching the Special Olympics Open-Mic Night!!
Hooray!
Gerald Tarrant | May 4, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I’ll go play babysitter for this tool.
Me: What do you want?
7 year old fan: An autograph.
Me: Get lost kid, you are too much of a risk.
*later*
Me: What do you want?
30 year old guy: To stab K-Fed and piss on his body.
Me: Whoops, sorry Kev, that one slipped pas me.
Dr.Rokter | May 4, 2006 at 12:21 pm
BigJim:
I found you. You can’t hide.
http://www.bachelorettepartystripper.com/
djyuckfou | May 4, 2006 at 12:22 pm
poor k-fed having such a dumb bitch for a wife
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Okay, Binky, but it’s nothing too exciting, I’m afraid:
1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16
2. How many men have you slept with? None — I’m a hetero guy
3. How many women? 9, and I’ve been with #9 for 17 years.
4. Ever done anal? Nope, neither given nor received.
5. If yes to #4, did you like it? N/A
6. Ever filmed yourself having sex? No, the wife won’t go for it.
7. If yes to #6, can you send me a copy? Also, N/A
BigJim | May 4, 2006 at 12:31 pm
#40:
I wish I was as cool as that guy. Having chicks pay me to strip, that would be awesome. I’m flattered you thought it was me.
PapaHotNuts | May 4, 2006 at 12:32 pm
I wish Brittany would allow me to babysit him for just one day. I’d make him watch re-runs of Full House, Charles in Charge, Seinfeld, Hee-Haw, Threes Company, Bosum Buddies, The Brady Bunch, and ALF. I would force the whiteness back into him with lessons in grammer, etiquette, and fashion. I would make him say the word “nigger” in front of a high school football team. He would eat sushi, drink red wine, and shake hands, rather than “give dap” or “pound it”. I would make him shave that fucking crustache on his lip and clean up the Joe Dirt white-trash beard. He could not interact with black people, except for the football team beating him up. I would make him drive a Yugo and wear slacks and a Polo shirt with a sweater draped over his shoulder. And right when he starts to act normal, I’d kick him in the nuts and call him whitey.
Lou | May 4, 2006 at 12:32 pm
# 3 I’m game but you will have to answer questions 1-6 yourself first. Feel free substitute appropriate genders.
Additional queries
7. Have you ever touched yourself at work?
8. If yes to #7 were you caught?
9. Aren’t you Canadian?
10. If yes to 10 have you ever had sex in a mounty hat?
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 12:32 pm
pinky_nip: Why don’t you grow up?! I didn’t do anything to you and you don’t know me….. and since
*****I know I’m better than you*****
I’ll leave it at that.
asmith | May 4, 2006 at 12:33 pm
She doesn’t trust her own husband?? SHOCKER!
Binky | May 4, 2006 at 12:33 pm
# 40 and #42
What the ‘h’ was I thinking !?!
Yikes – Too Much Info !!!! I need another coffee!!
Iambananas | May 4, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Don’t spit on me and shame yourself
Because you wish you were someone else
You look so clean but you spread your dirt
As if think that words don’t hurt
You build up walls no one can climb
The things you do should be a crime
You’re idiot of superficiality
Keep your lies out of my reality
And when you’re nice it’s just a pose
You’re one of those HATERS
EVERYTIME CHILDREN WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT IS UNTRUE BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL… I’M GOING TO POST THIS. YES, IT WILL GET ANNOYING, BUT SO IS IMMATURITY.
Dr.Rokter | May 4, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Muddy Sludge
Crusty Bun
Shrimp Boat Tandoori
Mother-in-Law
Up Country ’tis of thee
This is my destiny
EVERY TIME CHILDREN MAKE ME SAD BY FUCKING WITH MY MIND I’M GOING TO POST CONCEPTUAL POETRY AND HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I PASS OUT AND BREAK MY NOSE ON THE T.V. TABLE. THIS WILL DEMONSTRATE THAT I AM A GROWNUP.