Britney Spears doesn’t need pants

May 15th, 2007 // 80 Comments

Britney Spears attended a party at club Teddy’s in Los Angeles on Saturday and spent the night in her underwear. She was in the back corner with her friends and her two bodyguards had blocked off the area. According to a witness:

“They were jumping around on the couches. And Britney was in her underwear.”
A waiter went to bus the table and was told, “No boys … no boys … you have to leave.” When a waitress asked if she wanted a drink, Britney said, “No, I’m just having Red Bull.” But, reports an eyewitness, while her friends did the ordering for, ostensibly, what they wanted to drink, it was Britney doing the drinking. Claims one on the scene: “Britney took shots throughout the night.”

I’m a fan of being pantless too, but at least I’ve got the decency to keep it in my own home. And what’s sad is this isn’t even surprising. The only thing people expect from Britney Spears these days is that she have a face. She could be spotted at a club eating a live baby and it wouldn’t even make the news.

And here she is at Millennium Dance Studio doing some sort of monkey impression.

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  1. omgFRIST


  2. Fishstick

    dammit! i wanted to be frist!

  3. Is she smelling her own armpit? It probably smells bad, friend.

  4. teetotaller

    Whoa, Bern, your blog’s giant breast champion is intimidating yet delicate. I’d like me some of that.

  5. Angie

    “The only thing people expect from Britney Spears these days is that she have a face. She could be spotted at a club eating a live baby and it wouldn’t even make the news.”

    whoa! fish u obviously aren’t “gude” with the “wurds” ’cause u said “have” a face. oh boy. what a grammar nerd.

    NOTE: yes, i usually sign in as N@ughty but why do so when comments are now officially disabled and your real name will get you famous? if not you, then me since i’m better than britney. sort of…i went to rehab once.

  6. whoneedsenemies

    I used to have that outfit….when I was 4!! And I didn’t wear a bra just like shitney!!
    I can’t believe she went through MY trash. Sheesh!

  7. Angie? you’re N@ughty? PROVE IT! show me some boobs or something. hell i’ll settle for a fake smile? N@ughty?! gee, and to think that i doubted you.

    **sighs and cuts his own throat

  8. superfish, please…PLEASE jump off the building before i push you? i dont wanna gain recognition for killing a menace to society and threat to the children

  9. DingDong

    That fat blimp is sooooo nasty. She looks fatter than ever and she is just horrendous looking. She has zero class and she is just plain fake and smelly. Also on the picture on the top left you can clearly see a nip piercing on her left. She is just a washed up no talent fat hooker! Hahaha

  10. The_Squizz

    No Pants! No Pants! How does she keep her dick secured??!?!?

  11. srg

    pants schmants

  12. p0nk

    about fucking time. i noticed my troll was able to get on here before i did. what a fuckwad.

  13. captain obvious

    why do her nipples always looking they are frowning and staring at the floor? probably because they’re embarrassed to be seen with her. i hate bras too, but come on, if you’re going out in public where you’ll be photographed nonstop, and you have a shirt on that shows your pepperoni’s…at least attempt to cover those suckers up. Espc since they ain’t perky anymore.

  14. She looks like a giant toilet seat cover.

  15. wildchildintn

    doesn’t it look like she’s saying “which one of ya’ll didn’t glue my wig on right?”…hee hee…
    And please, for the love of god, put a bra on…everyday. Bra and panties. That should be a requirement for her ass.

  16. lisa

    shitney’s clothes always have stains on them. she is trash. horrible thighs too.

  17. hughjorganthethird

    Wow she looks great. Really trully a stunning vision in yellow.

    Now if only she were bald and semi-literate she’d be perfect…

  18. gimmie_ sammiches


  19. gimmie_sammiches

    was that too loud? sorry.

  20. LeeLee

    you know, every time I want to be antisocial and jump up and down on couches in my bra with my girlfriends I totally go out to a club.

    They might as well have brought sleeping bags and flashlights telling ghost stories.

  21. BarbadoSlim

    Ugh, britney’s unwashed stanky vag wafting its toxic fumes inside an enclosed environment.


  22. DancingQueen

    This fucking site is pissing me off! Too many comments??? What the fuck??!

    Anywho, I think she’s holding the wig on with her right arm up like that. Maybe the wind was blowing it around.

    People, people! Nobody noticed that she is showing her CANKLES!!!! No boots OR tube socks today! It’s a miracle!!!!

  23. ticklemyfancy

    She has girlfriends? I’m confused.

  24. Angelina Jolie

    Has anybody checked to see if maybe somebody has switched Britney’s real brain with that of a chimp? Because she’s acting awfully chimpy. I’m just sayin’, it makes as much sense as anything else. That yellow dress alone is an indication of somethign seriously wrong with her.

  25. sunkissed

    she will always be a fugly skank.

  26. jimbo

    I love Jan Brady.

  27. BarbadoSlim

    My retired aunt Dolores has those exact same curtains she’s wearing. She lives down in Boca.

  28. eggman

    “about fucking time. i noticed my troll was able to get on here before i did. what a fuckwad.”

    don’t be so hard on yourself. your troll is almost always more clever than you are.

  29. whoneedsenemies

    It’s always nice to see the brown pubes poking out below her nasty blonde wig…

  30. TrailerParkCommittee

    Yes she’s smelling her underarm just to make sure her deodorant, which consist of Blue Ribbon Beer and Pork Rhinds hasn’t started to fade.
    AND..of course she’s in a convertible, drinking a clear glass of K-Fed YooHoo!

    BUT I’M SORRY, It seems like we’re all forgeting one very important thing.

    (pause…gathering the strength to type on)

    I’d much rather look at her doing her Bruce Willis impersonation than the Wicked Mop of the West!

  31. p0nk

    #28 fuck off. the last time you were clever is when you got your mom drunk enough to give you a blow job.

  32. eggman

    p0nk is that a recurrent dream of yours? do you want to discuss its meaning? or do you not feel “safe” here? wait – here, have some (more) estrogen…later we can use that coupon to get 50% off when you wax your pussy.

  33. BritsArmpit

    Before I became a world famous Porno stunt double, I use to interpret dialog from pictures.

    Ex. Pic #11
    “Dang y’all..stop me if you heard this joke. What did the Verizon Guy say to Peppy Le Peu? (giggled) Can you smell me now!”

  34. Who the FUCK is signing in as omgFRIST??!!!???
    Jesus, I go to Target and come back and someone is trying to steal my name??!!?
    I’m FRIST!!!

  35. DAMMIT!!! Plus it said I wasn’t signed in anymore, and PLUS it said I posted too many comments!!!

  36. What is going on? Seriously, what kind of restaurant lets some idiot come in and dance around in their underwear. I would make an effort to patronize any restaurant that actually took the time to throw out this waste of space. Not that I’d want to sit on the same chair as her unless it had been boiled…

  37. Stoned Bored

    I’d hump her.

  38. TexasTranny

    At least she’s wearing panties. I can see them in pic #2……mmmmmmmmm pretty panties.

  39. bungoone

    those nipples are the size of saucers. secure that business under a bra Britney! and i see she has her beautiful gold lamé purse again.

    putting that wig in a ponytail totally defeats the purpose of hiding what little hair she has growing in. she is obviously ashamed of what she did & regrets it 100%, but personally, i’d be more ashamed of the ridiculously cheap wigs.

  40. Eva

    The girl in the very first enlarged pic with her mouth all open looked exactly like Lindsay in her nipple-slip pics. Look for yourself.

  41. Eva

    …and TCLTC (Bringing it back to this board!)

  42. suzy

    lol, oh man

    she isn’t fat. just those kinds of dresses make everyone look kind of big because they are “baby doll” dresse or something.

  43. Techclerk

    I agree with post #24. Remember Lancelot Link the chimp gumshoe detective? She dresses like the female chimp characters on that show. She lip syncs like the Evolution Revolution, too!

  44. Chauncey Gardner

    She obviously doesn’t need brains, either. I always thought the braindead were supposed to wither away in a hospital bed eating through a tube and pissing into a catheter, like that Schaivo bitch, but Britney somehow manages. Amazing!

    In other news of the braindead, Jerry Falwell is dead! HUZZAH!

  45. techclerk

    I also heard she throws her poop at you if you come too close to her cage.

  46. The superfish guy is on coke


  47. techclerk

    A moment of silence please for the passed Reverend Jerry Falwell and those at Heritage USA who will miss him.

    Big surprise. I’d think he was going to be carried to heaven by angels sent to save him from dying on this wicked earth.

  48. J

    MSNBC and the NYP are such crap. X17 had pics of her at Teddy’s on FRIDAY night, not Saturday…and she wasn’t drunk at all. Please.

  49. Justyna

    :( she used to be so pretty and fun and gorgeous, now she just looks old and worn out… it’s kinda sad

  50. johnnywad

    Ummmmm…. a giant lemon drop… with massive boobies.

    #47: Jerry Falwell is walking around in hell, trying to help all the Muslim nut jobs find their 72 virgins.

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