Britney Spears does Letterman Top 10. In a bikini.

August 19th, 2009 // 86 Comments

Making it four days in a row now, Britney Spears presented the Top Ten list on Letterman last night wearing a black bikini and sitting on a desk. Which, combined with the extra ten pounds the camera adds, probably wasn’t the smartest idea but then again we’re dealing with Britney Spears who probably wanted to wear a duck suit. Here’s the list:

Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Britney Spears Were President

10. I’d be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon.
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo.
8. Free pie for everybody.
7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas.
6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistble scent of my new fragrance “Circus Fantasy.”
5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy.
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade.
2. Three words: Vice president Diddy.
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me.

Of course, the only funny part of this whole sketch is that I actually watched it and transcribed the entire list. HA! Jokes on me. *puts gun in mouth*

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. wundersmack

    Wait — Britney can read?

  2. Andie

    Come on. I look better in a bikini than she does here. I mean, she’s cute but not ‘pop star’ hot.

  3. Wow…”For me personally, I feel like God created the body, and the body is beautiful”.

  4. Darth

    Which Pacific ocean tribe is missing this member?

  5. richard

    Fat.

  6. Galtacticus

    The clip is removed but did she play her didgeridoo too on the show?

  7. David Letterman

    Talking about akward! It’s that the millions are making it up!

  8. Rachell

    Britany Spears is a whale here. I would not go on TV looking like that.

    Also, it’s amazing the number of birthers, neo-nazi’s, and various assorted racists and dumbasses that appear when you mention the name “Obama”. Why are you guys wasting your time on the superficial? Isn’t there an abortion clinic somewhere you need to bomb or a klan rally you will be late for?

  9. me

    she doesn’t look good here……they should have had her standing, She looks wide, old and rather dumpy. They made a mistake -she looks bad…. sorry… she could have looked awesome but this bikini shit is getting old.

  10. greenmeatattack

    You make a lot of sense, R12. As much as I like Obama, I think very little has changed. It’s all about the $$$$.

    As for Britney, she looks good but man, she is dumb.

  11. sweet like salsa

    people like #35 are why this country is so damn stupid

    “forget talking about politics or things that effect us and our world today, lets just judge Brittney Spear’s body!”

    *gets aka 47 for sheep shooting rampage*

  12. Me parece de muy mal gusto que hablen asi de britney, se nota que es una señorita decente y que no se pone en bolas como los gatos baratos de Sofovich, no señor, ella es mucho más decente que esa manga de gatos baratos, britney escribime te dejo mi mail locoporvos@hotmail.com

  13. GrammarMenshevik

    I support a Lunar Nightclub project. Go NASA!

  14. Kodos

    OK, OK, I give in…. I’D HIT IT!!!

    I’d have to double-bag, but I’d hit it, OK?

    5 minutes of my life I’d never get back, but hell, I’d even throw in 5 minutes of “cuddling”.
    The girl’s probably never been ‘just held’ in her life……

    I’m going to purge now.

  15. Mara

    Britney to this beautiful
    and it is necessary to take into account that she already had two children is therefore normal that it is out of shape, but still in, in my opinion, she is simply fantastic!

  16. Shes cute thats for sure ,and shes got back enough to form for the bikinni ,shes within striking distance of her former self

  17. Gulet

    I vote for the Superficial writer to be the next President.

  18. Token figurehead in the White House

    I’m Ba’lack Oboombox, and by the government taking control of corporations, industry, healthcare, and every other facet of American life, eliminating the free market, eliminating competition, incentive, motivation, and most of all, freedom, all the while increasing inflation ten-fold, making the U.S. a third-world economic power with unemployment over 50% and euthenizing everyone over 65, I’ll create jobs! Change!

  19. BB

    Sorry! but she looks old, like a hag. wow disgusting body. Gross around the middle. Boobies have gone thru a war, so flat chested, girl you’re not the old britney in a million years. LOL! No excuses i’m a mother. I LOOK SUPER FINE!
    What’s happening to this stars. It’s pathetic! Lohan posted on twitter some pics of her with her hair over her chest. What chest! she has lost so much weight, She looks like a crack hoe! LOL, Hollywood Coming Soon, Watch out for me. A TRUE FINE BEAUTY! HA HA HA HA HA

  20. BB

    Sorry! but she looks old, like a hag. wow disgusting body. Gross around the middle. Boobies have gone thru a war, so flat chested, girl you’re not the old britney in a million years. LOL! No excuses i’m a mother. I LOOK SUPER FINE!
    What’s happening to this stars. It’s pathetic! Lohan posted on twitter some pics of her with her hair over her chest. What chest! she has lost so much weight, She looks like a crack hoe! LOL, Hollywood Coming Soon, Watch out for me. A TRUE FINE BEAUTY! HA HA HA HA HA

  21. BB

    Sorry! but she looks old, like a hag. wow disgusting body. Gross around the middle. Boobies have gone thru a war, so flat chested, girl you’re not the old britney in a million years. LOL! No excuses i’m a mother. I LOOK SUPER FINE!
    What’s happening to this stars. It’s pathetic! Lohan posted on twitter some pics of her with her hair over her chest. What chest! she has lost so much weight, She looks like a crack hoe! LOL, Hollywood Coming Soon, Watch out for me. A TRUE FINE BEAUTY! HA HA HA HA HA

  22. BB

    Sorry! but she looks old, like a hag. wow disgusting body. Gross around the middle. Boobies have gone thru a war, so flat chested, girl you’re not the old britney in a million years. LOL! No excuses i’m a mother. I LOOK SUPER FINE!
    What’s happening to this stars. It’s pathetic! Lohan posted on twitter some pics of her with her hair over her chest. What chest! she has lost so much weight, She looks like a crack hoe! LOL, Hollywood Coming Soon, Watch out for me. A TRUE FINE BEAUTY! HA HA HA HA HA

  23. IceBlue

    Wow the amount of ignorance on just this board finally made me realize why the US is going down the drain. It’s sad really. It seems everyone thinks like #68 and views socialism like a plague.

    For all those people saying not to listen to everything the media says is only doing the same thing by listening to the dumb republican propaganda. No one seems to be making informed decisions by doing research.

    Also free healthcare does not take away your freedom. If Canada and Norway can do it why can’t the US? Are those countries any less democratic? Are the Canadians and Norwegian oppressed in anyway?

    I feel bad for Obama really. Not only he has to try to clean up the mess Bush made but he also have to be blamed for Bush’s mess. People changes do not happen overnight. The amount of stuff Obama did up until now is way more than Bush ever did in his eight years. The amount of American stupidity is pitiful.

  24. jojo

    this is sad…she is insane and she’s being objectified….very sad…poor girl she looks like shit…

  25. lllovelulu

    ————————————She looks delicious!! love her very much. I saw her at dating site____W e a l t h y D a t e r . C 0 M____ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

  26. lllovelulu

    ————————————She looks delicious!! love her very much. I saw her at dating site____W e a l t h y D a t e r . C 0 M____ last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

  27. NJ

    Anyone who ends up fighting about politics on the Superficial must be pretty fucking stupid.

  28. Brooke

    First off, just gonna start with the actual topic at hand which is Miss Spears. Britney looks great to of had 2 kids (back 2 back), then to of had a complete mental breakdown (which I still believe with all my heart was Postpartum Depression), then to of done all the other crazy stuff she used to do. Anyway, I think she is doing so much better and looking so much better. You don’t get your body back overnight after having 2 kids unless you were a stick figure and didn’t eat much at all during your pregnancy. Brit wasn’t a stick figure to begin with, she has always been more muscular and toned and athletic than super thin. I think when she met K-Fed that she stopped excercising and we all know that muscle turns to fat when you stop working out. That’s why most of these body builders that had done steroids and come off them and stop working out, do not only lose their muscle tone, but they get fat. I am not saying Britt is fat or ever was for that matter. She just wasn’t thin or toned after having kids. She has started working out again and you have to admit she is looking better, but it will take some time for her to turn the fat back to muscle. I think it was BRAVE of her to do this considering how people on the internet are hung up on everyone that isn’t stick figured being over weight. Just look at how poor Jessica Simpson has taken so much heat for gaining a little weight. No wonder so many of America’s youth are anorexic and starve themselves. They get on these sites like this and read that Britney & Jessica is FAT and that makes them think badly about themselves. For the record I’d much rather see someone with a few extra pounds on them than someone that looks like they belong in Ethiopia, at least we know that the one with the few extra pounds is healthy and at least they do eat. It just really is sad that America is so hung up on people’s weight. For all those saying Brit is fat, then don’t be surprised when ur kid develops an eating disorder then you’ll have no one but urself to blame. Okay, secondly America was founded on Christianity and I am not talking about today’s Christians that are hipocrits that go to church on Sunday and on Monday are gossiping, cursing, and lying. It says in the Bible to pray for your president. Well I am praying for him, I’m praying he isn’t the for-runner to the Anti-christ & that he actually turns out to be a great president. You can say all you want about Christianity, but it’s strange to me that the Bible has predicted so many of the things that are going on today. I don’t believe in Obama’s veiws about the government controlling every aspect of our lives. It has nothing to do with him being black, it’s just the way that everything that he spews seems Anti-American. Plus, all these extreme Muslims refer to him as Messiah. That worries me, I’m not gonna lie, it really does. Whoever said that people that believe the Bible are crazy b/c it has talking snakes and burning bushes, well to you I say A LOT of the Bible is metaphorical, it doesn’t mean there was actually a talking snake, but could mean there was someone that was perceived as a serpent (evil). Anyway, this is a crazy gossip site and I don’t want to get further into Christianity or our messed up Government (that was messed up far before the Bush’s came along). George Bush I will agree didn’t come off as very intelligent, but at least he did do one good thing which was have our military to capture Saddam Hussein. What has Obama done for us? Nothing and I realize change doesn’t come over night, but how does spending money that we don’t have help?

  29. Narcissist

    @ 78 – Actually muscle doesn’t turn to fat. It might lose tone, but that shouldn’t take long to fix.

    http://www.truestarhealth.com/members/cm_archives11ML3P1A20.html

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/26/health/nutrition/26real.html

    It’s pretty much 50% of Britneys job to be fit, especially if she’s going to be 95% naked while on television. Otherwise she could have worn a more flattering outfit that doesn’t highlight her failure to deliver.

    It’s not like she works in a sweatshop 14 hours a day 7 days a week, plus takes care of her kids and then has to maintain an world class physique on top of that.
    It’s her job as a performer to be fit, and if she’s not disciplined enough to do that like Gwen Stefani, Halle Berry or Geri Halliwell (was, she’s slacking), she could wear something that covers the fat rolls on her gut, but maybe shows off her thighs. I think her face is pretty, and her hair obscures her football player neck.

    I like that Bush started that “no call list” to stop telemarketers from hustling crap on me.

  30. Uh

    Bush didn’t start the National Do Not Call Registry. It was an overwhelmingly popular initiative spearheaded by Reps. Billy Tauzin (R-LA) and John Dingell (D-MI), which Bush signed into law because it happened to have passed on his watch.

  31. catelynnw3

    I would love to see her take some time off to spend with her kids and figure out who she really is outside of the music industry. It would be great to then see her come back as a more mature, polished, classy, singer and dancer. She has talent, and I would love to see her change her image as far as wearing clothes that show her off without appearing trashy; and possibly toning down her hair color to a more flattering, classy shade. It think it is very attractive when a woman knows who they are and what they are worth. Women don’t have to reveal so much skin in order to have people find them attractive. I was a teenager who desperately wanted male attention which I mistook for love and affection. I wore clothes that were far too revealing and enjoyed when guys looked at me and made comments to me. When I finally realized that the love I was seeking wasn’t going to come from a man that I had attracted based on peaking his sexual interest; I changed my image and became more confident in my worth as a human being. I can only thank God for helping me to realize who I am in Him. I pray Britney finds out that true beauty comes from within – not what our bodies look like and how the world views us physically.

  32. ALLY

    IF YOU WROTE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN BRITTANY SPEARS IN A DAMN BIKINI BEING STUPID THIS COMMENT ISNT FOR YOU

    FMYLIFE.COM

    go there and fight like blubbering idiots remember the point of this whole thing is BRITTANY SPEARS not obama

    go cry somewhere else losers

    its for fun quit thinking so much you dont look smart you look like a fucktard

  33. ALLY

    IF YOU WROTE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN BRITTANY SPEARS IN A DAMN BIKINI BEING STUPID THIS COMMENT IS FOR YOU

    FMYLIFE.COM

    go there and fight like blubbering idiots remember the point of this whole thing is BRITTANY SPEARS not obama

    go cry somewhere else losers

    its for fun quit thinking so much you dont look smart you look like a fucktard

  34. SkyWalker Queen

    Someone PLEEEEEEAASE save these folks from their unbelievable ignorance! Britney is actually very REAL in her appearance! No more airbrushed skin, red lips, or washboard abs from working out compulsively and pathetically everyday of her life. A thick as+ like that can sit on my face any day of the week instead of perched atop a treadmill! You unoriginal dumbas+’s, she only looked like a Sims Avatar before because she was a teenage pop singer that was served to this petty shallow society of ours on a spray bottle tan and bronzer covered platter. When she debuted…(BEFORE reality became visible to you airbrushed glasses wearing superficial clones), while in her “prime”, (according to society’s fuEURked up standards) she was an abused illusion from her 12 inch makeup to the genius modern pop/hip-hop music video style camera angles that bent her young beautiful smile, young life, and bright youthful self esteem. Of course since she fell back to earth she doesn’t realize the full extent of how falsely portrayed her image was by the media, nor does she care. So here it is folks! A REAL LIFE WOMAN. This is the embodiment, the representation of the HOTTEST BITEURH you will EVER see on your side of the distorted Hollywood camera lens. Open your eyes fools! No one actually looks like “a slave for you” in the real world. Get your asses up from the couch and computer chairs and use your own eyes to see. Do something with your “personal” time outside of soaking in MTV for once. Get in touch with your own original opinions, the ones you were BORN with prior to losing all touch with your identity. I DARE YOU ALL to see if you are capable of thinking for yourselves, thoughts that are not at all influenced by society’s peer pressured popularity. Do any of you remember that you are unique and you can think for yourself? Wow! Betcha never thought like this before kids! You all sound ridiculously identical and of course predictable. So sad that you all seem to have the same conformed views and standards as the one before you. Sad Sad Little mass produced, single minded, uncultured American robots you all are! You are now free to think your own thoughts without fear of rejection or mental independence! Mama SkyWalker has given you permission! ENJOY!

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