Making it four days in a row now, Britney Spears presented the Top Ten list on Letterman last night wearing a black bikini and sitting on a desk. Which, combined with the extra ten pounds the camera adds, probably wasn’t the smartest idea but then again we’re dealing with Britney Spears who probably wanted to wear a duck suit. Here’s the list:
Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Britney Spears Were President
10. I’d be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon.
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo.
8. Free pie for everybody.
7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas.
6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistble scent of my new fragrance “Circus Fantasy.”
5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy.
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade.
2. Three words: Vice president Diddy.
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me.
Of course, the only funny part of this whole sketch is that I actually watched it and transcribed the entire list. HA! Jokes on me. *puts gun in mouth*