Britney Spears does Letterman Top 10. In a bikini.

August 19th, 2009 // 86 Comments

Making it four days in a row now, Britney Spears presented the Top Ten list on Letterman last night wearing a black bikini and sitting on a desk. Which, combined with the extra ten pounds the camera adds, probably wasn’t the smartest idea but then again we’re dealing with Britney Spears who probably wanted to wear a duck suit. Here’s the list:

Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Britney Spears Were President

10. I’d be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon.
9. We would only invade fun places like Cabo.
8. Free pie for everybody.
7. My situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas.
6. I’d lure Osama out of hiding with the irresistble scent of my new fragrance “Circus Fantasy.”
5. Every presidential news conference would feature costume changes.
4. America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy.
3. Challenge U.S. to put nightclub on the moon by the end of the decade.
2. Three words: Vice president Diddy.
1. Finally the media would pay some attention to me.

Of course, the only funny part of this whole sketch is that I actually watched it and transcribed the entire list. HA! Jokes on me. *puts gun in mouth*

Photos: WENN

  1. Que

    Que exciting?

  2. meh

    At least she combed out and styled the wig for once.

    #1: thanks for not being one of those assholes that posts “first!” like it’s a fucking accomplishment

    Now shut up.

  3. Fail

    That was one big bucket of fail.

    It’s not 2000 anymore, Brit. You had 2 kids. Your body was your entire career, and now you’re a typical, slightly deflated cali-blond with a passable singing voice that’s pushing 30.

    Take the money and run. Let the world devour another young hottie and push her to the brink of suicide. It’s the American way.

  4. richbike


  5. richbike


  6. roxy

    I think she’s very sweet *sunny*

  7. isa

    not funny.

  8. Abe


    I’d vote for her!

    She would be way better than the Facist, anti American loser we have now.

    Go Brittany!


  9. dandi

    I watch this and thinking to meself, why for is the beach looking so funny. Is just one tree and so small the beach behind her. And when did beach get put inside gold box? Is this the normal of now?

    I say to myself, “where are pelicans?” And then, you know what next. FACEPALM!!!! I don’t know where beach is!!!!!! Makes me laugh.

  10. yuki

    the number one on the list shouldve been EVERYONES PUSSAH CAN BE HANGIN OUT.

  11. Anon

    Ooh that’s embarrassing.
    Would have been ok or even maybe funny if they got her to do it dressed but she’s not the same Britney from 4 years ago and someone needs to tell her.
    She can’t see that she’s deluded or maybe she does these as a desperate way to convince herself it’s 4 years ago.

    God I can’t wait for train wreck Britney to come back

  12. i hate liars

    Abe you retard Obama is a puppet like Dubya was. Kennedy was our last true leader. The Federal Reserve and the bankers and industrialists etc. run this country. They have sent our jobs overseas not for the good of the nation, for how can our money leaving us be a good thing (well, except for Wall Street and the glorious shareholders!)? Of course even our money holds not value it is mere FIAT for shit’s sake!!!!!
    Obama is perfect! He is not white, he is a democrat so the pendulum swung back to give the other half of the country’s idiotic voters a feeling of being empowered somehow and yet, he has upped our military spending by 11% during a depression. Gee, 700 billion a year for military, 44% of our tax money for the military industrial establishment!!!! Of course we are in ruins!
    Anyway, Britney looks fucking sexy as Hell to me. You know, because I am neither gay or a liar.

  13. George Washington

    Hard to tell which is the bigger dumb ass, her or dave.
    She would double the current IQ level in the White House just walking through the door.
    She probably has much less disdain for her country than our current buffoon in chief .

  14. Nanotyrannus

    Oh set your calendars, boys and girls. Brit appearances on Letterman usually precede an eruption of her Crazy Volcano. It’s an attention getting stunt, and when it doesn’t get any, she’ll have to resort to something more insane.

    Somebody hide her car keys, hair trimmers, and anything she might tattoo herself with.

  15. kelly

    i think she looks great!

  16. Queenmab

    Totally un-funny. She needs to wake up to the fact she is not some cutsey 19 year old anymore. What a retard.

  17. There is a half happiness and a half sadness on her face.

  18. There is a half happiness and a half sadness on her face.

  19. She is so kind girl.

  20. Annie Loves Anal


  21. sensi sweetie

    #12….. i think i love you.!!

    iawtc x100

  22. Danklin

    What’s funny is that people were actually expecting this to be funny. Letterman top 10, and his show in general are never funny. Jimmy Fallon is even less painfull to watch! Bring back leno already! Thank god for Conan.

  23. whattheshit

    Say what you will, I think she looks pretty fine.

    And Abe, it’s fascist. First learn how to spell it, then look it up so you might actually have the slightest clue what the hell you’re talking about, rather than talking out of your retarded ass.

  24. Danklin

    And for a chick that’s pushing or is 30 and has 2 kids, Britney looks damn good! What the he’ll are people expecting?? She’s a milf, she’s not 16 anymore people.

  25. Say What

    Great idea, Letterman Top Ten list while wearing a bikini, that’s sure to get some publicity. The genius switch has no off button in the Spears publicity camp.

  26. Danklin

    I’m glad someone pointed out that Abe has no fucking clue what fascist means. Although maybe in his head a fasist is something else we don’t know. Also stop bitching about Obama. I don’t see any of you geniuses coming up with ways to run this country. Actually scratch that, I’d be fucking terrified to hear them. Only greedy money hungry Americans think obama is doing a bad job. Boo obama isn’t leaving me enough money for my boat and house in the Bahamas, poor me. Shut up and just live your simple lives, jackasses.

  27. Danklin Koolaid

    “Only greedy money hungry Americans”
    You are an absolute idiot.
    Open your eyes dumb ass and read a few current events.

    Oh I forgot, you can have french fry duty when you are done mopping the floor.

  28. low

    That was laugh-free. Smile-free also. It made me feel like punching my cat. She’s a moron, and not nearly as pretty as everyone around her would like us to believe.

    • Felipe

      I think she has a very attractive face, but for any woman who’s almost 30 years old I agree this was not the most appropriate outfit, no matter what her body looks like.

  29. lololololol

    i hate liars = complete moron

  30. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    She’s having fun, I’ll give her a pass on this one.

  31. Wake The F*ck Up

    No, lololololol. You are the moron. The world isn’t run by politicians, it’s run by privately owned banking organizations. The truth is Obama really is just a puppet, a distraction actually, just like every godammned thing that you see on your television or read in the news. Stop taking everything the media tells you as fact. Regardless of the source, always think, ask questions and use your f*cking brain.

  32. angela

    Wake The F*ck Up – Wake the Fuck Up. This is a website for making fun of celebrities. If I wanted to use my fucking brain, I would do it on another forum. When I come here, it’s so that I don’t HAVE to think.

    Way to come in to the room and spoil the party for everyone else. Ugghhh… thinking sucks!

  33. sensi sweetie

    The world is run by an elite of rich families. its silly how people go out of their way to vote and this and that, like their opinion really counts.


  34. sweet like salsa

    #26. Obama is a damn puppet.

    im sick of all the brainwashed sheeps walking around this country wasting oxygen!

  35. angela

    WHY THE FUCK ARE WE TALKING ABOUT OBAMA? JESUS CHRIST. Is he a puppet is he not a puppet, is he a socialist or not a socialist? Is this Fox News? No I do not think so.

    This girl is thick. I don’t think thick is bad – she looks decent if you’re into a more thick style of girl. Thank GOD she washed her hair.

    THERE PEOPLE – that’s what we call – “Keeping it on topic!”

  36. Let the nightmare end

    This is what happens to the country when a common street ape is placed in a position of power. Obumma wants to turn the U.S. into a county like Kenya, where he was born, similar to the Congo or any other ape run country that is in utter economic, social, and cultural disarray and failure. Murder, starvation, rape & pillage, that is all that can be expected from the darkies and their non-existant positive leadership capability. CHANGE!!!

  37. TheJoker07

    I’ll do her.

  38. RedFantaGirl

    Okay, this was supposed to be funny, stop turning this thread into a political debate. Go to CNN or Fox News threads for that shit.

    Britney looks great. Even though her body isn’t banging like it was in her “I’m a slave 4 U” days, it still pretty good. She looks great in her videos, and is looking happy. I agree with “angela” @35, keep it on the topic.

  39. RedFantaGirl

    @36, I just have to say this and totally contradict my own comment, posted prior to this one. Are you a fucking dumb ass? Do you not know our Constitution? If Obama had been born in Kenya, he couldn’t be president since only “natura born” citizens can be Pres or VP. Get educated you racist white trash.

  40. LOL @#39


    Actually, Obomma has never produced a valid birth certificate, and his grandmother was quoted in an interview some years ago as saying she was in Kenya when he was born and witnessed the birth. Unfortunately she’s now dead. There are currently multiple court proceedings underway to determine where he was actually born.

    What I find most comical about Obomma is that his father was black, mother was white. His father, in true stereotypical behavior, abandoned his child and baby mama soon after birth, and little Barry Obomma was raised by his white mother and then his white grandmother, yet he chooses to be “recognized” as a black dude.

  41. She might have a more coherent fiscal strategy. The money has to come from somewhere before you can spend it.

    She could start by covering some of that sloppy mess up before all her fans dump her for Geri Halliwell. Halliwell is 10 yrs older but looks 10 years younger. I think these pity ticket sales will dry up.

  42. Nameless

    BS should fire whoever she let talk her into doing that.

  43. Abe

    Fascism, pronounced /’fæ??z?m/, comprises a radical and authoritarian nationalist political ideology[1][2][3][4] and a corporatist economic ideology. [5] advocate the creation of a single-party state.[7] Fascist governments forbid and suppress criticism and opposition to the government and the fascist movement.[8] Fascism opposes class conflict, blames capitalist liberal democracies for its creation and communists for exploiting the concept.[9] In the economic sphere, many fascist leaders have claimed to support a “Third Way” in economic policy, which they believed superior to both the rampant individualism of unrestrained capitalism and the severe control of state communism.[10][11] This was to be achieved by establishing significant government control over business and labour (Mussolini called his nation’s system “the corporate state”).[12][13] No common and concise definition exists for fascism and historians and political scientists disagree on what should be in any concise definition.[14]

  44. Britney Fan

    In your guys’ retardedly ill-fated debate about high school government, you’ve all forgot to point out how ridiculously fat and disgusting Britney looks.

    Shame on you, shame on you all.

  45. John F. Deadenny

    First of all, for those of you who wish to get political…remember: the jews run the world. End of story.

  46. At least she has nice skin? Haha. Brave of her, though.


  47. Boston_Freek

    #9 WTF are you saying?????

  48. Tinner


  49. It’s people like Abe (post #8) that make it impossible for the US to move forward in ANY way. I bet you still believe the Bible too, huh? Talking snakes and burning bushes… that’s in NO way more ridiculous than the idea of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, no not at all.


  50. Tom K

    LOL @ #40. you people need to get your facts straight I suggest you look them up before you start spreading lies!

    On the contrary #40. Obama’s father was an educated man who met his mother in college and was actually married to Obama’s mother before they divorced shortly when he was young but he was in Obama’s life before his death. He never ran out on them he just went back to Kenya. Nice try though. It would be a good guess to just assume the usual but those sort of antics are reserved for American born and raised blacks the rest of them acutally have some class.

    Also to #3. that was the best thing I have ever read. PERFECT EXAMPLE!!!!

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