Britney Spears debuted her new video for “Womanizer” today and the song definitely benefited from visuals. And, Jesus, the visuals. Here’s what to except from this thing conveniently lodged after the jump:
1. Naked Britney. And I didn’t cry!
2. Lingerie Britney cooking eggs. Her real specialty: Flaming bowl of Lucky Charms.
3. Britney photocopying her ass then punching said photocopy. I didn’t know this was autobiographical…
4. More Naked Britney. Again, no crying.
5. Cocktail Waitress Lap-dancing Britney. I think this video has exceeded its head-whipping threshold.
6. Britney driving a car with her foot while having sex in the backseat. This explains all those accidents.
7. Showering Britney. I’m gonna need a minute.
8. Crazy Vengeful Lingerie Britney. Yeah, make the bed over him. Guys hate that!
9. Naked Britney. Oh, I get it. She’s the narrator. Ha! Gonna need another minute…
10. Words. In a Britney Spears’ video? I guess – if you wanna be “artsy.”
Is Britney Spears back? Frankly, it felt like she never left. No, seriously, she can’t be killed!
Sophie | October 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm
OMG FIRST!
Hexum2600 | October 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm
God damnit. SOMEONE STOP HER.
Sophie B | October 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm
OMG FIRST! -go tj!
Hexum2600 | October 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm
God damnit. SOMEONE STOP HER.
Jakeeee | October 11, 2008 at 2:25 pm
YAY NAKED BRITNEY.
Corinna | October 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm
And everyone knows the best way to stop men is from being womanizers is to writhe around naked, and come onto them in the office, restaurant, and while driving them around. Feminism at its best.
Byrd | October 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Whoa, a post on saturday? and a typo? What is the world coming too?
Britney2 | October 11, 2008 at 2:31 pm
This song sucks and this poor girl is such a sad case. I feel sorry for all the 12 year old girls who are going to watch this and think it’s normal.
Seenbot | October 11, 2008 at 2:35 pm
hey there’s another one of those sex-orgy/dance sequences. except with the cast of the Office? or Law and Order? I dunno you can try imagining it. I did.
marjorie | October 11, 2008 at 2:37 pm
i love kevin <3
marjorie | October 11, 2008 at 2:37 pm
i love kevin <3
marjorie | October 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm
i love kevin <3
marjorie | October 11, 2008 at 2:38 pm
i love kevin <3
Lipster | October 11, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Palin, like all republicans, is a cunt.
yeeeha | October 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm
when does this bitch start making porn?
CaptainMorgan | October 11, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE this song. I can’t stand it. I really don’t like it. I plug my ears. I run away. It is HORRIBLE! Dammit she CAN’T sing! What talent does she actually have?
Listening to her is the equivalent of looking at Heidi Montag (the horse faced cow).
pirhan | October 11, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I guess this is far to deep for me to understand, because, I don’t get it.
monty | October 11, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Hate to say it, that vid rocked!
Racer X | October 11, 2008 at 3:26 pm
FAIL.
/go take care of your kids
Gar | October 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I’m raising funds to send her to mars.
JPRichardson | October 11, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I want the old (2001) Britney back!
Joe Pike | October 11, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Best part about that was in the beginning & the guy was looking at his phone. April 20th. 4:20
Even brit still likes her pot.
shelly | October 11, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I think she looks a lot like Jessica Simpson in this picture.
Great video!
chris | October 11, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I have never posted before and I may never post again. But goddamn, that sucked some ass. The song, the video, the whole thing is just…goddamnit.
Slut | October 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I wonder who had the job as butt double….cause that photocopy was too small to be Britt’s butt….sorry Britt, but all those mochachoca lattes caught up with ya
ix | October 11, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Her singing makes my ears bleed. Who the hell thinks she has a voice to be a professional singer?
Binky | October 11, 2008 at 4:30 pm
She should have been swinging her umbrella at that guy.
butterfrei | October 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm
someone just dialed in a performance. well, if you count zombie as acting.
Anonymous | October 11, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I really like the video. Sure, it’s a lot like her video for Toxic, but she seems angrier in that one and more playful in this one. Plus she seems like she’s making fun of her self, winking at the camera when she sings, “You say I’m crazy” at the end.
I didn’t like the song when I first heard it, but it’s growing on me… and I have to say that the video helps. She just looks so hot in all the sauna scenes!
;)
Clem | October 11, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Utter, utter shit. What’s with the flat, Marilyn Manson-esque, processed voice? Everyone knows she can’t sing (apart from herself) and yet still she continues because her brain-dead fans are turning her into a later day Michael “King of Pop” (what!!!?) Jackson.
Shit on every level.
rob | October 11, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I’d do her
meee | October 11, 2008 at 5:09 pm
i’m not gonna lie…that was entertaining…her voice sounds like crap as usual but it’s catchy enough.
alley | October 11, 2008 at 5:15 pm
This video= Toxic video
Nothing new…..
ACUP | October 11, 2008 at 5:22 pm
She looks good! That’s not easy for me to say. She looks like Ashley Simpson #23…the wig and all.
Horrible song. And…geesh…couldn’t she get a hotter guy to play the “womanizer?” He’s like a cereal commercial actor.
And Superficial Writer…c’mon. Where’s the funny?
Sharon | October 11, 2008 at 6:56 pm
HOT!
420 | October 11, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Can someone explain to me what the blog writer meant when he said “I’m gonna need a minute”
It sounds like he’s going to masturbate or something.
Tyler | October 11, 2008 at 7:33 pm
@36. .. Wow, you sure do catch on fast!
chuck | October 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm
This video proves nothing. Even beneath all the ProTools and Autotune she remains completely tone-deaf. And the two or three times she actually looks decent are just photographic trickery. ANYONE can look hot in a music video. That’s why they spend the big bucks on DP’s and post-production houses. Hell, the first time I saw the video for “There You Go” I would have sworn Pink was the sexiest girl alive. And that woman has no neck. The most disturbing thing here is it seems like the Superficial writer is ROOTING for BS to make a successful comeback. What gives?
Captain Planet | October 11, 2008 at 7:51 pm
@38, I believe everyone hates Britney outwardly by bashing her…..but inwardly they secretly love Britney, they remember a time not too long ago when they first bought her baby one more time album and listened to it nonstop.
The superficial write is that kind of person. He hates and loves Britney…just like how Gollum hates and loves the Ring of Power.
Thighhighs | October 11, 2008 at 8:17 pm
She’s baaaaaaaaaaaack :). I’m glad for her…it’s been a long road.
Anon | October 11, 2008 at 8:19 pm
So when you sales are low go down the i’m naked and too hot for you, misandrist throwing and violent to men ego trip other female singers do.
She does know she has two boys right?
Shame
wonder what would be said if a man was throwing a woman around like that?
With the obligatory groin kick.
epic fail and she looked so good in the first 10 seconds.
Harry | October 11, 2008 at 8:20 pm
The song is horrible, but she looks bangin’ again. Better not find out it’s all CGI airbrushing!
Rough Daddy | October 11, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I know i gave this a bad review earlier, but it ain’t that bad. Its Toxic the sequel,,,and whos the geek shes tossing around is that suppose to be kevin featherhomo…with luv!
Eddy | October 11, 2008 at 8:44 pm
I love how polarized most of these comments are. I dunno, it was okay. My feelings on her music have mostly been that its more… techno inspired by her, with her standing in during the video to be pretty. A lot of pop music is like that, its a style, and I’m not really bothered by it (I kind of enjoy that about it, actually). Not terrible, just… adequate.
ummm...yeah | October 11, 2008 at 9:27 pm
#29, I KNOW THAT”S YOU RANDAL, YOU PRICK!!! STFU and DIE!!!!!
#30, I totally agree…SHIT!!!!
# 39, YOU are a fucktard! Everyone HATES Britwhory Spunk on the INSIDE AND OUT ASSWIPE!!!
Someone/anyone PLEASE kill that whory skank and put us out of our misery!!!!!
Corinna | October 11, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Wow, I’m retarded. “Stop men from being womanizers,” obviously, not “stop men IS from being womanizers.”
marjorie | October 11, 2008 at 10:42 pm
i love kevin
writer77 | October 11, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Honestly, her song is not terrible, the chorus helps it a lot. But, the video to be honest was not good for her as a come back vid. They tried to just do the same old Toxic shit.
I would have really liked to see her in some very cool situation where her man is cheating on her or something or flirting with a million women…and some creative way of shooting the scenes. I felt it lacked a ton of creativity. I also felt the naked scenes were out of place and just trying to be too forward. Why not have her naked in the shower crying due to her womanizer man…that would make more sense. Instead shes in the sauna doing what i hate most…hands around the face and hair like a Russian catalog model.
I dont know why this bothers me (and explains the wigs) but shes had two years to grow her hair out…and it still looks really choppy and rooty. Whats with the top of her hair. Notice how she’s wearing wigs, or her hair is wet. How come she looked so good at the VH1 awards? Now that stylist should be doing her in the videos as well.
Nikky Raney | October 11, 2008 at 11:18 pm
video > song
Pirate Kuhnbeard | October 11, 2008 at 11:29 pm
dude. this video is fucking sweet. i don’t even care what anyone says. b. spears is back and it’s kickass.