Britney Spears’ dad won’t even let her see booze

June 8th, 2009 // 40 Comments

Seen here in London over the weekend, Britney Spears’ dad Jamie runs things backstage with an iron fist and has prohibited anyone from drinking within eyesight of Britney. The Sun reports:

Britney’s family have issued the blanket ban on any areas that the star might pass through on her way from dressing room to stage – and staff have been asked to sign contracts promising that no booze will be available.
A source at the venue says: “Following her problems with alcohol, Britney had requested that everywhere backstage is alcohol free. Her family is monitoring the situation very carefully and we’ve been made to sign contracts promising not to drink or allow any of the VIP guests to have alcohol in any of the backstage areas that Britney could use. It is very important to Britney that she doesn’t see anybody drinking in her presence.”

Before I begin, let me crack open a cold, refreshing beer that makes all my problems go away. *sips* Ahh! Delicious. Now where was I? Right, Britney’s drinking. Her dad is definitely making the right move. After seeing her breasts flopping around in 2007, it’s best for everyone if Britney is kept away from the sauce. I mean, all drinking really does is give you an incredible feeling of self-worth and guarantees no one will take your kids. Plus it tastes like chicken.

NOTE: You should’ve paid the ransom, England. Muahaha!

superficial

  1. Jessicado

    Ahhhhh beer

  2. Max Planck

    So what’s with the dumb hats?

  3. NY Ted

    I’ll be the first to drink to that…!

    Cheers…!

  4. Jessicado

    Sweet! Actually I just typed the first thing that came to mind to stop one of those freakin tards from saying “First!”
    But I think in the end a toast to beer was a win, win for all!

  5. RtSS

    To quote George Thorogood: “1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, and 1 Beer…”

  6. IRON TWAT

    She’s still got booze-bloat.

  7. Angus

    What happens when she gets drunk? You guessed it: butt sex.

    And we have our Monday trifecta.

  8. Rasputins Liver

    HOLEEEE….

    ……………………SHIT!

    GodDAMN!… that bitch is mind warpingly FUGLY!!!

    If I were her dad I’d fuckin’ ban, prohibit, anyone from lookin’ at that butt-fuckin’ grotesquery called “my daughter” as the risk of being sued for millions because someone’s eyeballs were burnt to to crisp for the sight of her fugliness is too damned high.

    Honestly! Twatney’s one STD away from making Skid Row hookers seem like Mother Teresas!

    Ah fuck, man! I think I gotta go to the free clinic just from seeing her PICTURE on my monitor!

    Goddamit!

    .

  9. Oh good. Because this dumb redneck bitch can’t control her alcohol intake the rest of the crew on the tour suffers. Way to go Brit!

  10. p0nk

    and unfortunately, the only sober people willing to have sex with her are terrorists or immediate family.

  11. Rasputins Liver

    Really, man….

    ….Jamie would have been better off letting Lutfi and that photog dude continue to debase her as that’s just what the butt uglyt, no talent, sleazy ho-bag wanted.

    That bitch liked being treated like the country-ghetto neanderbilly piece of garbage she actually is.

    Besides, Jamie wouold also have done the world a real favor as we were all havin’ a great timne wacthin’ his daughter melt down in spectacular fashion.

    I know, I know. I undertsand the practicle side of things in that after all the bullshit he had to putr up with from his ex-wiff, Twatney and her dumbass slut of a younger sister, he deserved to cash it in a bit.

    But dammit! Couldn’t he have done it whilst still allowing us the Twatney Sperms Country-Ghetto Meltdown Freakshow?!?

    Oh well, where’s dat buket o’ chikin likins, y’all?

  12. Freebie

    Wow – she is not going to age well. In ten years she’s really going to look older than she really is.

  13. hold your head up baby there just a bunch of hating ass fu**ked in the ass suck ass no pus**y getting faggets. your beautiful and so sexy .. holla ????

  14. hold your head up baby there just a bunch of hating ass fu**ked in the ass suck ass no pus**y getting faggets. your beautiful and so sexy .. holla ????

  15. hold your head up baby there just a bunch of hating ass fu**ked in the ass suck ass no pus**y getting faggets. your beautiful and so sexy .. holla ????

  16. Rasputins Liver

    .

    _________________________________________________________

    12. Freebie – June 8, 2009 4:32 PM

    Wow – she is not going to age well. In ten years she’s really going to look older than she really is.

    _________________________________________________________

    Well,, ya know, Freebie….

    Slutney’s got her daddy’s double chin genes.

    What ever good looks she had were lost about five years ago or so after she dropped her first kid.

    Then add to that her hard partyin’ whoring and she’s wound up lookin’ like something you’d stiff arm away from ya.

    She not only look like she was rode hard and put away wet, but was then taken right back out and rode hard again repeatedly.

    And don’t forget, she also has the serious Stink Foot thing goin’ on. So between her Stink Snatch and her Stink Foot, well, there’s a whole lotta stinkin’ goin’ on!

    Hahahahaahahaahahaaaaaa!!!

    .

  17. britneys chin

    The double chin has got to go. Otherwise she looks okay, considering she’s been wasted for the past few years.

  18. britneys chin

    The double chin has got to go. Otherwise she looks okay, considering she’s been wasted for the past few years.

  19. RtSS

    I’d Butt-Fuck her… In fact that’s the best way to do Britney any more. Face down, ass up, and pulling on those hair extensions. There was a time when I would’ve let her sit on my face, but that was many years ago. She’s doable from behind in either the pink love tunnel or the dirt tunnel. Either way, she would scream and enjoy it.

  20. dirk

    Um, explain to me again why this zygote-headed, mentally disturbed, talentless wonder is famous, again. Sorry, I must have landed on FUCKING MARS.

  21. Funeral Guy

    Shit, if she’s doing the white knuckle sobriety that bad, she should be crawling through a gutter on skid row in no time.

  22. Kat

    #21

    Please see – Obama Voters. Same people buy her music.

  23. Maybe it is a good idea for jaime to cut the booze! In the last 2 pics she looks like the fat Elvis with blonde streaks…

  24. Anonymous

    Her looks are completely gone. Teenage mall chicks are much better.

  25. Anon

    Then they’d better keep her at the stage at all times because she’s in England and all she’s going to see is people drinking.

    I’m sloshed right now and got an alcohol test to take at work.
    If I’m not wankered enough I’ll fail it.

  26. mikeock

    Slap a blue vest on her, and she’s your typical hot WalMart girl, only not as bright and twice as easy.

  27. Anonymous

    ‘To quote George Thorogood: “1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, and 1 Beer…”"

    Actually…..John Lee Hooker said it first…….

  28. super pretty chick

    24 – I disagree, she has the face structure of an angel. she is cute as hell.

  29. RtSS

    @27: You are absolutely right… Thanks for the correction. At least my @19 stands true. And after further thought, I would even let her suck my schlong, even with her double chin going on. There’s something about those Britney eyes, that would be nice to gaze into while she gurgles away.

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  32. Damn she’s ugly!

  33. RtSS

    Poor Britney, she’s looking like a worn out sack of potatoes. She’s lumpy and saggy in all the wrong places. Her tits are hanging down low. OMG she is looking like she’s early to mid forties in thes shots. The first image almost looks like she’s growing a thin layer of moustashe on her upper lip. That coupled with her double chin, the base way to lay the lumber to her is with her in the respectable position of face down in the pillow, and ass up in the air. Urrruup, her stretched out pussy might be a bit to take so don’t look into it before you insert your self. those scratch pads on the vajay-jay walls are scabs and will soften when her pussy juice starts to flow, Get me som lotion those a hard and crusty. Rot Crotch.

  34. RtSS

    PussUUwwjsjjjnny fuck techniqes wih briney would need both your hand and you,You’I Spread that pussy wide stick both my feet into her pussy, I head shes wyinto butt-fucking. wWoo Then I would flip her over and put my feet into her aass. That gapping whole would take my tow feet, plus a hand.

  35. Darth

    How about BS doing a duet with Amy Whinehouse? It’s good for both of their careers.

  36. Rasputins Liver

    Hmm…

    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
    28. super pretty chick – June 8, 2009 8:23 PM

    24 – I disagree, she has the face structure of an angel. she is cute as hell.
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

    No way, spc!

    That country-ghetto, no talent, vacuous, neanderbilly broad’s totally hagged!

    She’s not even face down, ass up worthy!

    She’s a HASMAT situation in Stink Foot boots.

    She’s fugly … fugly! … FUGLY!!

    Oh … and did I say Twatney was….

    … FUGLY?

    She is, ya know.

    I wouldn’t let even George Dubya stick his Li’l Dick Cheney into that trailer trash cooze! And that’s saying a lot!]

    Twatney!

    Yeesh!

    .

  37. jenny

    I think she looks just fine. I also like her hat! It is cute.

  38. Tom K

    I like this new writer! LMAO

    “After seeing her breasts flopping around in 2007, it’s best for everyone if Britney is kept away from the sauce.”

    Hilarious!!!!

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  40. This, combined with his double chin, the bottom gives way to wood, was with his respectable position pillows, and ass in the air. Urrruup her pussy stretched out perhaps a bit &;so you do not have to consider before replacing the same.

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