Britney Spears has been ordered by a judge to take parenting classes and abstain from alcohol 12 hours before seeing her children. Being the genius that she is, Britney’s been clubbing every night since the ruling. Star Magazine spoke with attorney John Schweitzer to get an outside opinion on Britney’s situation. Here’s what he had to say:
On ignoring the judge’s orders
“By going out like this she is really running the risk of losing custody of her kids. The judge is now going to watch very move she makes. The judge gets the newspaper like everyone else and he will take something like this into consideration until his final ruling is made.”
On the legal consequences Britney could face
“Some of the punishments could include holding her in contempt of court, which could result in a fine, imprisonment or both. Or, the judge gives more visitation rights to the other parent, in this case Kevin, or, he can take the children away if he feels Britney is not focusing on the best interest of the children.”
On what Britney should do to keep her kids
“If I were her lawyer I would tell her to lie low, stay in the house and spend time reading to her sons and doing arts and craft projects with them to enforce learning and bonding.”
Arts and crafts? Is this guy serious? He literally just suggested that Britney Spears use scissors, glue and possibly popsicle sticks around small children. Does he want her kids to lose an eye? Why stop there? He might as well suggest that Britney take them to a gun range. Although at least there, witnesses would be present. I also like to believe the employees would give Britney a candy gun. Not for safety purposes. They’re just tired of her getting teeth marks on the real guns. They really need a snack machine in there.
Sheena | September 21, 2007 at 10:24 am
Brittany is pathetic!
Ryan | September 21, 2007 at 10:24 am
Unfit mother. Unfit celebrity. Unfit human
SOUNDOFTHESEA | September 21, 2007 at 10:24 am
FIRST
MindRiot | September 21, 2007 at 10:27 am
Hawt.
A true role model.
kirsten dunst | September 21, 2007 at 10:27 am
why don’t we just go ahead and rape and murder her in front of her family. itd probably be less painful than what shes been bringing on herself. and itd be over quick. its all about time management.
lori | September 21, 2007 at 10:27 am
I think she is overwhelmed by the responsibility of having kids. She wants to lose those kids. Her fight for them is a good front and serves as payback to her ex for “doing her wrong.”
Take those kids from her for God’s sake.!
jrzmommy | September 21, 2007 at 10:29 am
Arts and crafts?
“….An’ then ya’ll sprayed sum payst rat lak this hare…..an’ then ya’ll pop it in your mouf an’ ya eat it!”
Mel | September 21, 2007 at 10:30 am
SOMEONE SAVE THE PUPPY TOO!!! DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE PUPPY!! (IF ITS STILL LIVING)
boo | September 21, 2007 at 10:31 am
Kid looks cute here.
Brittney looks like shit as usual. Glasses aren’t fooling anyone.
Martha Stewart should be her nanny.
Texas Tranny | September 21, 2007 at 10:32 am
ROFLMAOPIP
You have her down pat, Jrzymommy
Liz | September 21, 2007 at 10:38 am
She’s beginning to look haggard; isn’t she exhausted from all this? Wouldn’t a normal person have stopped making an ass of herself within minutes of hearing that she might lose her kids? I think she’s completely gone; not that I’m hoping but $20 says she’s dead within the next year from her own devices. It’s not even fun to watch anymore; it’s just tragic.
I mean c'mon | September 21, 2007 at 10:39 am
Ok, I know this is a dumb question but this Brittney thing is just too much too believe. Day after day with her stupid crap. Could this possibly be an orchestrated effort to keep her in the public eye? Pathetic and stupid, sure, but maybe is there some evil purpose to all this BS? Or is the real truth she is just a stupid hillbilly?
Atom | September 21, 2007 at 10:44 am
One step closer in my diobolical scheme!
FACE | September 21, 2007 at 10:49 am
I was hoping to get a chance to get some anal from her before she went down
Giggles | September 21, 2007 at 11:05 am
What is with her latest attempt to look “sad” whenever the paps are around? She only looks like a bigger fool.
adeliza | September 21, 2007 at 11:05 am
ARTS AND CRAFTS~!!!!!!!!!!
I’m laughing my ass off in here.
Maybe she’ll buy a tie die kit and they can have lots of fun making tee shirts.
She can add their little creations to her already horrible wardrobe.
Molly | September 21, 2007 at 11:06 am
Did you just rip from a Sarah Silverman joke and not have expected anyone to pick up on that?
Lexoka | September 21, 2007 at 11:11 am
I love the arts and crafts joke… didn’t see that one coming!
Seriously though, she’s way past the point where arts and crafts could change anything.
noahtourjee | September 21, 2007 at 11:11 am
theres no way she is keeping custody – bye bye
Spanky | September 21, 2007 at 11:11 am
Quick someone sow up that vagina
Annie Rexia | September 21, 2007 at 11:14 am
If I had ugly, retarded children like that I would want to get rid of them too. Pawn off the hillbilly ankle biters on the wigger ex, then take the money and RUN!
Hemlock Queen | September 21, 2007 at 11:17 am
Poor Britney for having the brainpower of a fly. It’s all so bizarre. Is she really this stupid? Really? Yes, yes she is.
Go see a shrink you crazy bitch! Wait, that falls in to the category of sensible. Brit doesn’t have that “talent.”
LadyJane | September 21, 2007 at 11:19 am
Well, now, I guess there’s 3 things we can’t avoid.
Death, taxes, and Britney Spears.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
scoos | September 21, 2007 at 11:19 am
Lawls.
Someone put her out of her misery already.
lola | September 21, 2007 at 11:20 am
britney: sean preston we are going to sit down and make things with our glue, our colorful cigarettes and some cheetos.
veggi | September 21, 2007 at 11:21 am
I just arted.
LadyJane | September 21, 2007 at 11:25 am
*snort*
arted?
hahahhahahhahahahahhahahaha.
I just ooped.
Fag | September 21, 2007 at 11:27 am
LOL
I just acked off..
Eric | September 21, 2007 at 11:32 am
What a pathetic excuse for a mother. God, that really is pathetic. Those kids are going to be so messed up by the time they’re in their early teens
PC | September 21, 2007 at 11:34 am
Celebrities constantly complain how the papparazzi follow them around, but it’s actually quite easy to avoid them. Simply stop going to the papparazzi infested places, like Roberston Blvd, The Ivy, Koi, etc. Notice how we haven’t heard from or seen Nicole Richie in weeks? It’s very easy to lay low if you avoid certain spots. Britney knows this but decides to drag her kid to Robertson Blvd for the attention. Why, why, why???? What’s wrong with her? My heart breaks for these kids!!
Jus' Stupid | September 21, 2007 at 11:37 am
And i call myself Jus stupid…
bob | September 21, 2007 at 11:42 am
i love how she’s wearing eyeglasses now like she’s trying to look mature or smart. not going to happen because she continues to not bathe or run a comb through her hair. what is going on up there anyway?? is that a weave?
while you’re at it britney, better get that kid a hair cut. he’s looking dangerously close to Tutti from The Facts of Life.
fjioarue | September 21, 2007 at 11:48 am
Well technically, if Britney drinks and does a couple of lines out at a club at say, 2am, and then goes home, goes to bed and doesn’t get up until 2pm (when she then sees her kids roaming somewhere around the house), she’s not really breaking the judge’s orders.
Right, y’all?
See, there’s a method to her madness.
lambman | September 21, 2007 at 11:51 am
“The judge gets the newspaper like everyone else and he will take something like this into consideration until his final ruling is made”
Um isn’t that illegal? Doesn’t something need to be officially entered in as evidence before a judge can use it to make a ruling in a specific case? Kevin’s lawyers should be allowed to submit the newspapers as evidence, but a judge shouldn’t be allowed to just read tabloids to make decisions….If that were the case Nicole Kidman would have gotten a lot more in that divorce settlement.
poopyface | September 21, 2007 at 11:51 am
Why is the judge just prolonging the inevitable.
Get her away from those kids NOW.
Cocksucker | September 21, 2007 at 12:02 pm
damn, can’t we just move on.
Next post…………….Please
George | September 21, 2007 at 12:03 pm
It looks like her kid is playing with one of those Chinese lead infested toys. She most likely went out and bought him a bunch of them to try and get rid of him.
I used to think that she was mentally ill, but now I know that she is just a stupid retard.
It's Shitney, bitch! | September 21, 2007 at 12:04 pm
God she’s such a stupid suck-hole. I hope she goes to jail and gets beat down.
PunkA | September 21, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Exhibit A: Life Down to Toilet because of Drugs–Ms. Britney Spears
Hecubus | September 21, 2007 at 12:11 pm
She’s definetly trying to get rid of those kids on purpose now. It’s crazy that everyone is in agreement that Kevin Federline would make a better parent and also in agreement that Kevin Federline is a worse creature than Hitler, Satan and Vannila Ice rolled into one. it’d be sad if I didn’t know these kids are going to earn some money and time on daytime talkshows when they’re older after releasing their tell all books, ‘My shitty youth’ and ‘Between a prick and a flabface’
Chauncey Gardner | September 21, 2007 at 12:13 pm
White trash motherfuckers really do have fucked-up looking kids. Britney is proof of fetal alcohol syndrome, and so are her ‘cheerren’. But, the most fucked-up looking kid I’ve ever seen belongs to a friend of my friend’s wife. Actually, the wife’s friend is the grandmother, but she raises the kid, because her daughter, the actual mother of the kid, is sixteen.
Anyway, the kid, who’s about 18 months old, has this massive, bulbous head, with patchy hair and a forehead that sticks out at least three inches farther than his eyes. He looks like Casper the Friendly Ghost, or the fucking Elephant Man. And he just sits there and stares at nothing, with drool coming out of his mouth. I got dragged over to their house once, and one of his cousins punched him in the arm and took away his airplane, and he didn’t even react. No screaming, no crying – he just sat there. And the family doesn’t seem to notice that anything is wrong.
PunkA | September 21, 2007 at 12:15 pm
First thing K-Fed needs to do is give those boys a haircut. Nice and tight like his. The penis cap haircut does nothing for them. Immediately they will look better.
Stuart | September 21, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I’d just like to say that Britney is a mess! I mean you would think after she ecstatically gushed when she was newly-married that she couldnt wait to be a young mum! Well she’s got a funny sense of humour and it looks like she wants to lose custody of her children! Fair enough, she has been through a hell of a lot but throughout this time she should’ve been focusing on those wee boys and not out getting wasted with other so-called ‘role-models’ like Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan who think that they can just get away with anything!
I seriously hope she pulls herself together and becomes a proper mother!
no1justminda | September 21, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Arts and crafts, awww. They could glue little macaronis to a paper plate and then mommy can pick them off and eat them, glue and all! MMMmmmmm!
Gringer76 | September 21, 2007 at 12:31 pm
You know, I just feel really bad for her kids. They don’t have the mother they need, and they’ll grow up resenting her for not being there for them when she had every chance to do so. They’ll be like Carrie Fisher and end up writing a book about their childhood and growing up Britney’s kids, and then it’ll be made into a movie just like Carrie Fisher’s book did.
(FYI for those who don’t know: Carrie Fisher played Princess Leia in Star Wars and her mom is screen legend Debbie Reynolds, and her life growing up was a mess. The movie I’m referring to that was a book turned into a movie by Carrie Fisher is Postcards from the Edge)
FRIST!!! | September 21, 2007 at 12:36 pm
#11 She’s exhausted from Being up all nght every night drinking and smoking meth…takes a lot out of you, ya know?
Poor thing, she should really just take a bong hit and get some sleep
havoc | September 21, 2007 at 12:38 pm
When did Tina Fey dye her hair blond????
She got fat….
.
Tabarnak | September 21, 2007 at 12:39 pm
“The judge gets the newspaper like everyone else and he will take something like this into consideration until his final ruling is made.”
Yeah. Newspaper? I don’t think Britney is interesting and worthy enough to be in a newspaper. Tabloids, probably. And tabloids are the most reliable source for a judge to make a decision in court. He just pulls out an edition of Star or US daily, points and says: “BRITNEY, YOU’RE GUILTY!” idiots.
I'm a chinese | September 21, 2007 at 12:57 pm
i feel sorry for the kids…they are having a mum like that…what’s gonna happen to them in the future..a drug addict?alcohol abuser?i dont know.god knows.
Danklin24 | September 21, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Britney, go to jail?? We should just stop there and make the assumption that celebrities dont go to what the rest of us know as jail. I hear they hand out diamond watches and ipods at celeb jail. As for this “news” about Britney, its typical Britney. The girl needs to go away.