Britney Spears could go to jail, lose kids


Britney Spears has been ordered by a judge to take parenting classes and abstain from alcohol 12 hours before seeing her children. Being the genius that she is, Britney’s been clubbing every night since the ruling. Star Magazine spoke with attorney John Schweitzer to get an outside opinion on Britney’s situation. Here’s what he had to say:

On ignoring the judge’s orders
“By going out like this she is really running the risk of losing custody of her kids. The judge is now going to watch very move she makes. The judge gets the newspaper like everyone else and he will take something like this into consideration until his final ruling is made.”

On the legal consequences Britney could face
“Some of the punishments could include holding her in contempt of court, which could result in a fine, imprisonment or both. Or, the judge gives more visitation rights to the other parent, in this case Kevin, or, he can take the children away if he feels Britney is not focusing on the best interest of the children.”

On what Britney should do to keep her kids
“If I were her lawyer I would tell her to lie low, stay in the house and spend time reading to her sons and doing arts and craft projects with them to enforce learning and bonding.”

Arts and crafts? Is this guy serious? He literally just suggested that Britney Spears use scissors, glue and possibly popsicle sticks around small children. Does he want her kids to lose an eye? Why stop there? He might as well suggest that Britney take them to a gun range. Although at least there, witnesses would be present. I also like to believe the employees would give Britney a candy gun. Not for safety purposes. They’re just tired of her getting teeth marks on the real guns. They really need a snack machine in there.