Britney Spears commits crimes

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Britney Spears has been charged with two misdemeanors including a hit-and-run for the incident back in August when she pulled into a parking space and hit a car, and for driving without a valid license. If convicted on both charges, she faces up to a year in jail. A City Attorney’s spokesman says:

“According to the DMV, Ms. Spears was never issued a California license – ever.”

Sweet mother of Jebus, Britney Spears doesn’t have a driver’s license? How is that even possible? I mean, I’m not surprised, but how did it take the authorities this long to figure it out? You’d think they would’ve cracked the case when she was caught driving with her baby on her lap, or when she had her baby seat strapped in the wrong way, or basically every time she has ever been behind the wheel ever. I could blindfold a monkey, punch it in the head, and throw it in a car and it’d end up driving better than Britney Spears. Probably take better care of her children too.