Britney Spears’ Candies Ad: Now With More Side Boob

April 1st, 2009 // 84 Comments

Here are promotional shots for Britney Spears’ upcoming Candies campaign for Kohl’s. And, yes, you read that right: there are teasers for ads now. Whee! That aside, I love the realism here. Because these shots clear resemble everything I’ve seen of Britney in the past four weeks. Seriously, they’re so life-like, I called child services. (Reflex action, Britney. My bad.)


  1. She's Ugly

    She looks so fat on tour. It is really amazing what photoshop, lighting, and makeup can do.

  2. Nat

    I like how her stomach is so flat, it looks like it was drawn with a ruler. Very realistic.

  3. shampoo please

    Her hair doesn’t even look greasy.

  4. titneysucks

    What a joke – she looks like steamed shit in real life.

  5. Cerra

    April Fool’s, right? >_<

  6. Richard McBeef

    magic gunt eraser

  7. Fuck skinny chicks

    Puhleeeze…I can’t help thinking that a whole NEW generation of young women is going to think this shit is 100% real.

    To the jailbait of the future: for god’s sake, find someone REAL to inspire endless trips to the bathroom after meals. If yer gonna go the upchuck-and-laxative route to dieting, make sure you have a better role model than…this.

  8. shoopy

    Obama president NAW!!

  9. M

    i love britney, but these are just plain ewww.

  10. superstar

    Sooooo much Photoshop used! How many hours did it take? I wonder…

  11. B'lack Oboombox, figurehead Ape in the White House yo

    I’m B’lack Oboombox, and by taxing every small business employer and corporation so much that they have to go out of business, fire all their employees, or move overseas, I’m going to create jobs.

    Also, by speaking very eloquently and reading my preprepared speeches off of a teleprompter, I’ll create even more jobs.

    And furthermore, by rewarding deadbeat minorities who didn’t pay their subprime mortgages with new mortgages paid by the gov’t with money we’ll print with no backing collateral, deflating the value of the dollar to that of a peso, sending the economy into a unrecoverable downward spiral, all the while spending trillions of dollars on needless liberal government aggenda programs that will ultimately fail and cost three times their projected budgets, I’ll create even more jobs!


    P.S. RichPort’s Ghost, please stop sending me naked pictures of yourself.

  12. P911gt10c


  13. Id fuck her. One time for each personality.

  14. Jrz

    She looks so empowered. Like…Dun Duh Dah!! SuperSkank!

  15. farty mcshitface

    yup, these are so fake. about the only thing remotely realistic about the pics is her face. the body isn’t hers. the legs are too scrawny and weak. and brit has a gut but in the pics it’s totally gone.

  16. Mr. Obvious

    I pronounce this “Photoshop Level 5″: you know it’s Britney, took out a lot of imperfections, and she looks about 10 lbs lighter.

    Level 0: no Photoshop
    Level 10: that’s a completely different person.

  17. click my name is see her unphotoshopped pictures…much worse than you think!!

  18. Deuce Bigalow

    She makes millions and is world famous. Like she cares….

  19. jrz

    heh heh…#15 said, “gut but”

  20. Photoshop MASTER

    I do good work…

  21. Objection sustained

    Oboombox…. what a clever pun! Where do you come up with this stuff??

  22. Dude

    She hasn’t looked like that since I’d the year 2000….

  23. Jrz– I was reading back in the archives last night. Ran across your friends DamYell and SJTLQ. hehehe

  24. rolo

    Not only can you use a ruler on her stomache, her legs as well

  25. Anon

    What are the adverts trying to sell?

    Surely thats the point of an advert.

  26. AnastasiaLynn

    keep in mind that shes gained some weight back on her tour but shes been working on this ad campaign for months! Kinda like how actors film movies for like a whole year before they get released. So these mustve been taken right after she got in shape again.

  27. Max Planck

    What, no cigarette?

  28. How the hell did they hide that cluster of papule on the left chin….

  29. Cartman

    Britney always has the most busted-up looking feet so it’s only natural that she would get a shoe contract.

  30. That’s the most fucked up Cheetos ad I’ve ever seen.

  31. juniper

    seriously who cares anymore? shes completely irrelevant.

  32. ZANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

  33. You are the problem

    #11, Obama sent the economy into an unrecoverable downward spiral?
    Hahahahaha, that’s a good one. He’s been in office for a little over 60 DAYS, and the economy has been tanking for a couple of YEARS. Oh, but that’s right, George “Magical Thinking” Bush told you the economy was fine, so you believe that this mess didn’t start until Obama took office.
    You are a fucking dolt, with about 8 chromosomes to your credit.

  34. Spockette

    Does anybody else have a sudden urge for a triple mochaccino, six big macs, and a bag of Doritos?

  35. Jrz

    Please guy….don’t conjure them up.

  36. GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111

  37. Nero

    Who’s this extreme hot babe!?

  38. mafme

    Terrible photoshoping! They put a dark shadow under her jawline to make the head-neck connection seem conceivable. But those are not Britney’s legs. She has big, muscular legs… some fat too, but justsayin’. Just terrible pick for a body double.

  39. Nero

    @38 I’m talking about the Superficial writer ofcourse!

  40. Rhialto

    Great photoshop job! Very skilled and well done!

  41. #11 – Still White, maybe you should go for another tour in Iraq… as an IED defuser. C’mon… your country needs you.

  42. demiiio

    she is disgusting.and she doesnat looka like that since she was 19.shitney is a loser.dont care about her.she is a fat and celulite lady

  43. Jessica

    I think she looks great.. Go Britney!!

  44. Adobe

    Aaaaand… now with more Photoshop.

  45. mark

    Brittney’s tits point straight DOWN. Her kids breastfeed standing up!

  46. Maximus

    That is some seriously high quality airbrushing.

  47. Maximus

    And I should add that if a woman who looked like this actually existed, she’d be hot.

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