Britney Spears’ breasts in a bikini aren’t making me cry. What the…

November 15th, 2009 // 69 Comments

Dear Britney,

Did you notice today how people stared at your chest and went “Hey, those are kind of awesome” instead of asking whether you’re pointing at them or that guy over there? No, way over there.

That’s what happens when you support those things. No foolin’. On that note, I’d tell you to write all this down but I don’t want your kids seeing you choke on a pen cap after a full day of staring directly into your ass and realizing they’ll never be innocent again.

Here to help,

The Superficial Writer

superficial

  1. sarah

    FIRST!!!

  2. sarah

    FIRST!!!

  3. sarah

    FIRST!!!

  4. Lame

    She has a body of a man.

  5. Sadly Britney in a bikini just isn’t working for me the way it used to. These ones are just kinda mehh… moving on… you know?

  6. the biznatch

    she’s seriously going bald. you can’t wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i’ll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.

  7. the biznatch

    she’s seriously going bald. you can’t wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i’ll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.

  8. minty

    average.

  9. sam

    bet thats got some tasty fanny batter on it

  10. joe blow

    I would absolutely wreck her corn chute.

    Then I’d make her clean my dick using only her mouth.

  11. Eleventh!

    Eleventh!

  12. i beg her to stop wearing those huge, ugly sunglasses. they look like something an 80 year old grandmother would sport.

  13. taste the rainbow…

    not that impressed

    -theburgerboy.com

  14. taste the rainbow…

    not that impressed

    -theburgerboy.com

  15. She's a loser

    Who cares what she looks like. She is a white trash psychotic mother of two retards. Any sire of federline is bound to be retarded.

  16. When I realized Britney was like Alessandra I couldn’t keep myself from thinking they weren’t the plain girls I imagined.
    For me they were different from the others, but as soon as I read they try to hide behind a clean imagine, I was in a shock and it came to me in mind how weak and insecure they are.

  17. Titties

    Slutney’s titties in a swimsuit are not half bad; if only they were ala carte. Instead, they’re attached to a childish mental retard who can’t even balance her checkbook by herself. I’ll pass…

  18. Fred

    Titties, I don’t think she was offering.

  19. I am NOT Parker

    Picture Number 8 made me fall in love with her all over again…..
    Joe Blow must have read my thoughts!

  20. Jon

    A young woman who dances for a living (as opposed to sings), shouldn’t need support for her nipples to be in the upright position. They should hang nicely by default, until the older years kick in. I will give credit where credit is due though, in these pics she doesn’t look awful. She doesn’t look that bad. Not great but not bad. There you go teenage girls, I said something positive about Britney.

  21. J

    Not half bad but not at the top of the
    list either.
    She should be looking at releasing a sex tape
    so she’s back in the news though.

  22. Well, the bottom still looks good but the top is way off the mark. Her upper body is like a man’s.

  23. MissShowOff

    Either lockup in the hotel balcony, cruise ship or swimming pool? Like she can swim without getting the hair wet! She has an Iphone to call who? Herself or imaginary friend to party? Glen Stenfanie can bring son to party and even have punky hairstyle, but for BS, it will be under psychiatric evaluation – to justify for legal extortion using DNA’s right to kids?

  24. liveandloose.blogspot.com

  25. Christina

    She has a great body considering she has two kids. I mean, I know she has trainers and babysitters and all that crap but still. Good for her. Her hair is kind of freaky though… she needs to drop the weaves and shit.

  26. oooohhhhh tiiitttties

  27. Thanks for the nice post. Britney is looking awesome in that bikini. But what is happening to britney’s hair?? But after having two kids britney has maintained her figure nicely.

  28. danny

    Is she wearing a wedding band?

    I think she looks exactly like what she is: a pudgy Walmartian with enough money to shop at Target instead.

  29. Superfan

    I am like totally obsessed with this site!! It is awesome!!

  30. melaina

    Fish didn’t right this, it doesn’t have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.

  31. melaina

    Fish didn’t right this, it doesn’t have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.

  32. roxy

    She looks so sweet taking care of her kids <3, but she seriosly need to get slimmer.
    PS – this is my favourite swimswit of hers^^

  33. saywha?

    lol she wore this bikini before!!! what a stupid b*tch!!!

  34. Chicken Fillet

    I don’t mind her physique, strongly built for a girl but shapely. “Tasty fanny batter”… man, I’ll never get tired of reading this rubbish.

  35. ***krazihottkuntkelli***

    huggz 2/
    #1,2,and 3
    and kizzez
    2/da fizh?
    wtf iz zhe
    going wear?>?
    bikiniz all winter…
    heheeeeeeee

  36. qwerty

    Where’s Leighton Meester’s GQ spread.Everyone’s posted it already.

  37. crazzyfly

    New Britney Spears scandal photos and videos

    http://www.nudebritney.org

  38. Lame

    Good enough to stick in her.

  39. Mickey01232000

    That is the first picture that I have seen of her where her nipples weren’t pointing at her toes. Still she looks like a house frau and isn’t aging very well. She still looks better than her idol Skeletor, Madonna, but that hard living is catching up to her. If your face and body are your image you should take better care of yourself.

  40. Corn Flake Cracker

    It looks dry, like burnt toast without butter.
    Very sad.

  41. Anon

    She would look amazing for someone who had two kids if she had the type of figure normal women had before but she didn’t.
    She had a perfect figure. She does look good now but those tits are fucked. They never did look quite right apart from the sometimes video but then she had the implants removed and well, now look at the after effect.

    This is the best she’s looked in a while even with the bodybuilder upper body.

  42. going Rough: a superficial life

    Hey! im proposing a new reality tv show call Brit Brit knows best. The premise is best on the pics above…

  43. going Rough: a superficial life

    best

  44. Meh

    Her left nipple’s trying to escape.

  45. jlylec

    sure…i’d hit it.

  46. Ice

    Here is a great place——- Cougarmatching.com ——- It’s a premiere cougar dating community for older women seeking younger men and young men seeking cougars. Come in, post a message, a picture of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You will find someone you like here…

  47. pdxfacehole

    Her lazy tits bug me.

  48. pdxfacehole

    Her lazy tits bug me.

  49. Hugh Gentry

    her nips will always be too low

  50. missywissy

    hmmmm….. just trying to figure out the fascination with this chick. She doesn’t particulary have a lot of class, counts her steps when she dances, doesn’t have the ability to sing live, doesn’t wear flattering clothes, doesn’t wash her hair, doesn’t write her own music so she’s basically a cover “artist”, hasn’t done anything to make headlines that has helped society to move forward, isn’t extra intellegent, not what most people would consider a grade A mom, can’t drive worth a shit, so why is she famous again???

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