Britney Spears’ breasts in a bikini aren’t making me cry. What the…

November 15th, 2009 // 68 Comments

Dear Britney,

Did you notice today how people stared at your chest and went “Hey, those are kind of awesome” instead of asking whether you’re pointing at them or that guy over there? No, way over there.

That’s what happens when you support those things. No foolin’. On that note, I’d tell you to write all this down but I don’t want your kids seeing you choke on a pen cap after a full day of staring directly into your ass and realizing they’ll never be innocent again.

Here to help,

The Superficial Writer

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Comments (68)

  1. sarah | November 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    FIRST!!!

    Reply
  2. sarah | November 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    FIRST!!!

    Reply
  3. sarah | November 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    FIRST!!!

    Reply
  4. Lame | November 15, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    She has a body of a man.

    Reply
  5. Mike Miller | November 15, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Sadly Britney in a bikini just isn’t working for me the way it used to. These ones are just kinda mehh… moving on… you know?

    Reply
  6. the biznatch | November 15, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    she’s seriously going bald. you can’t wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i’ll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.

    Reply
  7. the biznatch | November 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    she’s seriously going bald. you can’t wear extensions and weaves forever without fucking up your real hair. this is the best her body has looked in a while tho, i’ll give her props for that. her belly is looking nice and tight.

    Reply
  8. minty | November 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    average.

    Reply
  9. sam | November 15, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    bet thats got some tasty fanny batter on it

    Reply
  10. joe blow | November 15, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    I would absolutely wreck her corn chute.

    Then I’d make her clean my dick using only her mouth.

    Reply
  11. Eleventh! | November 15, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    Eleventh!

    Reply
  12. http://www.thefamousphere.com | November 15, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    i beg her to stop wearing those huge, ugly sunglasses. they look like something an 80 year old grandmother would sport.

    Reply
  13. theburgerboy.com | November 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    taste the rainbow…

    not that impressed

    -theburgerboy.com

    Reply
  14. theburgerboy.com | November 15, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    taste the rainbow…

    not that impressed

    -theburgerboy.com

    Reply
  15. She's a loser | November 15, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    Who cares what she looks like. She is a white trash psychotic mother of two retards. Any sire of federline is bound to be retarded.

    Reply
  16. sd cards | November 15, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    When I realized Britney was like Alessandra I couldn’t keep myself from thinking they weren’t the plain girls I imagined.
    For me they were different from the others, but as soon as I read they try to hide behind a clean imagine, I was in a shock and it came to me in mind how weak and insecure they are.

    Reply
  17. Titties | November 15, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    Slutney’s titties in a swimsuit are not half bad; if only they were ala carte. Instead, they’re attached to a childish mental retard who can’t even balance her checkbook by herself. I’ll pass…

    Reply
  18. Fred | November 15, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    Titties, I don’t think she was offering.

    Reply
  19. I am NOT Parker | November 15, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Picture Number 8 made me fall in love with her all over again…..
    Joe Blow must have read my thoughts!

    Reply
  20. Jon | November 15, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    A young woman who dances for a living (as opposed to sings), shouldn’t need support for her nipples to be in the upright position. They should hang nicely by default, until the older years kick in. I will give credit where credit is due though, in these pics she doesn’t look awful. She doesn’t look that bad. Not great but not bad. There you go teenage girls, I said something positive about Britney.

    Reply
  21. J | November 15, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    Not half bad but not at the top of the
    list either.
    She should be looking at releasing a sex tape
    so she’s back in the news though.

    Reply
  22. Ronskie | November 15, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    Well, the bottom still looks good but the top is way off the mark. Her upper body is like a man’s.

    Reply
  23. MissShowOff | November 15, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    Either lockup in the hotel balcony, cruise ship or swimming pool? Like she can swim without getting the hair wet! She has an Iphone to call who? Herself or imaginary friend to party? Glen Stenfanie can bring son to party and even have punky hairstyle, but for BS, it will be under psychiatric evaluation – to justify for legal extortion using DNA’s right to kids?

    Reply
  24. Raptor | November 15, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    liveandloose.blogspot.com

    Reply
  25. Christina | November 15, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    She has a great body considering she has two kids. I mean, I know she has trainers and babysitters and all that crap but still. Good for her. Her hair is kind of freaky though… she needs to drop the weaves and shit.

    Reply
  26. Harry Sackhs | November 16, 2009 at 12:04 am

    oooohhhhh tiiitttties

    Reply
  27. christmas presents | November 16, 2009 at 12:08 am

    Thanks for the nice post. Britney is looking awesome in that bikini. But what is happening to britney’s hair?? But after having two kids britney has maintained her figure nicely.

    Reply
  28. danny | November 16, 2009 at 12:11 am

    Is she wearing a wedding band?

    I think she looks exactly like what she is: a pudgy Walmartian with enough money to shop at Target instead.

    Reply
  29. Superfan | November 16, 2009 at 12:54 am

    I am like totally obsessed with this site!! It is awesome!!

    Reply
  30. melaina | November 16, 2009 at 2:20 am

    Fish didn’t right this, it doesn’t have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.

    Reply
  31. melaina | November 16, 2009 at 2:21 am

    Fish didn’t right this, it doesn’t have his usual wit, style or taste. You need to get your underlings to stop trying to emulate you and instead find personalities of their own.

    Reply
  32. roxy | November 16, 2009 at 3:14 am

    She looks so sweet taking care of her kids <3, but she seriosly need to get slimmer.
    PS – this is my favourite swimswit of hers^^

    Reply
  33. saywha? | November 16, 2009 at 6:01 am

    lol she wore this bikini before!!! what a stupid b*tch!!!

    Reply
  34. Chicken Fillet | November 16, 2009 at 6:20 am

    I don’t mind her physique, strongly built for a girl but shapely. “Tasty fanny batter”… man, I’ll never get tired of reading this rubbish.

    Reply
  35. ***krazihottkuntkelli*** | November 16, 2009 at 6:46 am

    huggz 2/
    #1,2,and 3
    and kizzez
    2/da fizh?
    wtf iz zhe
    going wear?>?
    bikiniz all winter…
    heheeeeeeee

    Reply
  36. qwerty | November 16, 2009 at 7:21 am

    Where’s Leighton Meester’s GQ spread.Everyone’s posted it already.

    Reply
  37. crazzyfly | November 16, 2009 at 7:21 am

    New Britney Spears scandal photos and videos

    http://www.nudebritney.org

    Reply
  38. Lame | November 16, 2009 at 8:01 am

    Good enough to stick in her.

    Reply
  39. Mickey01232000 | November 16, 2009 at 8:03 am

    That is the first picture that I have seen of her where her nipples weren’t pointing at her toes. Still she looks like a house frau and isn’t aging very well. She still looks better than her idol Skeletor, Madonna, but that hard living is catching up to her. If your face and body are your image you should take better care of yourself.

    Reply
  40. Corn Flake Cracker | November 16, 2009 at 8:12 am

    It looks dry, like burnt toast without butter.
    Very sad.

    Reply
  41. Anon | November 16, 2009 at 8:14 am

    She would look amazing for someone who had two kids if she had the type of figure normal women had before but she didn’t.
    She had a perfect figure. She does look good now but those tits are fucked. They never did look quite right apart from the sometimes video but then she had the implants removed and well, now look at the after effect.

    This is the best she’s looked in a while even with the bodybuilder upper body.

    Reply
  42. going Rough: a superficial life | November 16, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Hey! im proposing a new reality tv show call Brit Brit knows best. The premise is best on the pics above…

    Reply
  43. going Rough: a superficial life | November 16, 2009 at 8:41 am

    best Reply

  44. Meh | November 16, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Her left nipple’s trying to escape.

    Reply
  45. jlylec | November 16, 2009 at 9:15 am

    sure…i’d hit it.

    Reply
  46. Ice | November 16, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Here is a great place——- Cougarmatching.com ——- It’s a premiere cougar dating community for older women seeking younger men and young men seeking cougars. Come in, post a message, a picture of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You will find someone you like here…

    Reply
  47. pdxfacehole | November 16, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Her lazy tits bug me.

    Reply
  48. pdxfacehole | November 16, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Her lazy tits bug me.

    Reply
  49. Hugh Gentry | November 16, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    her nips will always be too low

    Reply
  50. missywissy | November 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    hmmmm….. just trying to figure out the fascination with this chick. She doesn’t particulary have a lot of class, counts her steps when she dances, doesn’t have the ability to sing live, doesn’t wear flattering clothes, doesn’t wash her hair, doesn’t write her own music so she’s basically a cover “artist”, hasn’t done anything to make headlines that has helped society to move forward, isn’t extra intellegent, not what most people would consider a grade A mom, can’t drive worth a shit, so why is she famous again???

    Reply

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