Britney Spears banned from Super Bowl promo

January 16th, 2007 // 85 Comments
britney-spears-west-hollywood-00.jpg

The Super Bowl is trying to get together celebrities for an all-star NFL Network promo to air during the game, but a source says Britney Spears’ people “were turned down flat out when they asked about participating.”

“She’s too much of a train wreck,” says the insider. “Besides, we already have Paris Hilton. Janet Reno and David Beckham are also on the wish list,” says the source. “Larry David said he might do it. Also, we’re trying to get Predator, from the movie.”

Are they actually proud that they’ve got Paris Hilton in their promo? It’s like bragging that you’ve got Tara Reid on your chess team. And what the hell kind of promo is this? Paris Hilton, Janet Reno, and the damn Predator? Apparently they’ve confused football with The Super Hilarious Almost-Celebrity Fun Hour.

superficial

  1. John Madden

    ah, double-teamed. now #49 and #50, pat each other on the ass and say “nice play, man” (boioioinggg)

  2. BarbadoSlim

    you forgot the hi-fives and kudos all around.

  3. LL

    RE the “insider”: I think someone’s just fucking with us (the gossip-consuming public). Janet Reno? What, do they need her to be a backup quarterback? Paris Hilton? If Janet Jackson’s half-second nipple flash made them pee their pants, I can’t see Paris getting within 2 miles of any NFL-affiliated show.

    RE the “Real” Housewives: yeah, now that you mention it, they do look like trannys. Actually, I’d watch it if it was trannys.

  4. LL

    Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t rag on Britney’s outfit. Help me, Jebus, where to begin? That dress (which probably cost hundreds of dollars) looks like she got it from a Goodwill store in 1982. Her makeup looks like someone punched her in both eyes. And the earrings: I think the rule should be, if they’re big enough to also wear as a bracelet, they’re too fucking big. Her hair is a disaster. Can’t tell if the shoes are terribly ugly, but judging by the rest of the ensemble, they probably are. Is Tara Reid her stylist now? Damn, Britney. If your intent is to make K-Fed feel grateful that you dumped his ass, mission accomplished. You are as frumpy and white-trashy looking as anyone I’ve ever seen in Wal-Mart who wasn’t wearing a tube top.

  5. Kristin

    Lmao @ #5.

  6. meee

    we need to get willy wonka up in this bitch to control that oompa loompa people keep mistaking as britney spears. whats with that big square forehead, fat neck, short legs, nonexistant chin?

  7. Haroof

    Her career is so over.

    5 years ago the NFL would have jumped at the chance to have her involved with the Superbowl somehow.

  8. Mick

    I feel so bad for her because she is so damn ugly.
    I can’t believe that with all the people working for her to make sure she acts, talks, and looks good in the public eye and she still messes up her own career. It’s almost like she was trying to mess up her own life.

  9. lattygirl

    Damn…the dress…it looks like a white sheet with iron burns.

  10. kathleen170

    She just keeps looking classier and classier.

  11. HollyJ

    Her performance is putting her legs up in stirrups and pulling out her labia, pucking at it them like harp strings until she can play “It’s the End of the World” by REM

  12. eastboundanddown

    Britney makes over $5 million a year from sales of her perfume alone. She doesn’t need to sing a song ever again. Instead, we’ll be stuck with her, Firecrotch and STDHilton for the next 50 years.

  13. RockyMtnHigh

    “She’s too much of a train wreck,” says the insider. “Besides, we already have Paris Hilton.”

    I don’t think the “insider” was saying Britney is a train wreck and Paris isn’t – rather, I think they were pointing out that because they ALREADY have Paris Hilton serving as Guest Train Wreck, having Britney there would be redundant.

  14. Shelley Bonnechance

    Janet Reno?

    I kept having to read that over again to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. How long has it been since I’ve been to the optometrist?

    Anyway, is that a joke? Janet Reno and David Beckham are on the wish list?

    Janet Reno could break David Beckham over her manly knee like a stick of kindling.

    And maybe order a few tanks to drive through whatever stadium the Super Bowl is being played at, crashing down the walls and smashing people and plastic beer cups into the turf.

  15. umakemelaugh

    That dress is from K mart

    NO it’s the fukin curtins in my spare bedroom

    AAAAAH Shitme you really Shit me

    Would someone shoot this bitch because it always seems the descent people get shot and the useless ones survive???????????

  16. ahh… I had to hibernate after seeing those pics the first time this afternoon around 1230… its been roughly 13 hours of sleep, and somehow I havent recovered.

    PS. Her hair reminds me of Predator… and her head reminds me of Alien…

    I smell a sequel…

  17. what the hellllllll is that dress? She does have awesome legs, though.

  18. RichPort

    That dress is supposed to hypnotize you into thinking she’s not putting on pounds like a heavyweight the night after weigh in. I’d still let her play tonsil hockey with my johnson while recording the scene on my camera phone, with Iraqis in the background screaming “Moktada! Moktada!”

    #38 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    #47 – Your video game is almost as stupid as your fucking comment. Almost.

  19. Denimpetal

    the scary looking guy behind her on the third pic looks likes he’s been made out of Devid Gest’s surgery cast offs

  20. j thurber

    labored, pretentious, self-referential, unfunny: name two things that fit these descriptors…1) new yorker cartoons; 2) richport comments.

  21. Candycane

    It’s a maternity dress. I’m sure she’s pregnant again. It’s just too much of a letdown to have a bad body without a baby coming or going to blame it on.

  22. blahblahblah

    Thats not a dress, its my grandma’s couch. I swear, my grandma’s couch is that same damn print.

  23. 86

    She has such a giraffe neck. I can just see her eating the leaves off trees. Come to think of it, her entire HEAD looks like a giraffe…bug eyes and all. She should wear one of those headbands with the spring attachments on it. You know, like we had when we were kids. It would totally complete the look. Safari Chic. You heard it here first.

  24. Troller

    She’s knocked up again.

  25. veggi

    sound of music tryouts.

  26. richiefromtheblock

    #68 — That was very well-spiccen, especially for a celeb gossip blog!

  27. richiefromtheblock

    opps typo — *well-spoken. Where’s the dang spic-checker when you need it?

  28. richiefromtheblock

    *spell-checker. dang it. sorry, mang!

  29. richiefromtheblock

    *man

  30. MyGosh!

    Do you think her panties match that beautiful dress?

  31. MyGosh!

    Why, Britney? Why????!!!!!!!!

  32. Nice choice of pics.

  33. licklick

    Wow!

    My favorite trailer-trashette. With bad taste in just about everything that counts.

    Can’t get any better than this (burp!).

  34. I couldn’t resist leaving a comment here, being a major Predator fan, and all. And being of the gossip female variety as well, I had to leave my 2 cents.

    The female-fan Predator community has been in a bit of talk over this long before someone mentioned the Predator being apart of the NFL entertainment. It’s agreed on comment 39…any Predator would not want to be seen with the likes of Spears or Hilton. If anything, a Predator would push them out of his way, or offer them a sandwich.

    Spears and Hilton would probably be called “Lou-dte Kalei”, which is the Predator/Yautja word for “slut”. ;-)

  35. yeah, well….no whales allowed!

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