Britney Spears to kick ass in court? My head hurts…

May 6th, 2008 // 45 Comments

Britney Spears will do the unthinkable today and actually appear to request more visitation time with her kids. In a stark contrast from the fall, Britney has her shit together and many expect her to get more QT with the chitlin’s. The AP reports:

With that stability and momentum to build on, it would appear Spears’ child-custody hearing Tuesday had the potential for a positive outcome — as long as she gets it together to show up this time. All indications are that she will.

Okay, this is how crazy the whole Britney situation is. And, what I’m about to tell you is a true story: So, everybody has dreams about their work. Well, the other night, I had a dream that Britney and I hooked up. Which isn’t that off the wall, except, here’s the kicker. Brace yourself: I didn’t wake up screaming. Whoa, right? I apologize for totally tripping your mind and understand if you need a few minutes to just sit under your desk and get a grip on reality. Lord knows I did…


  1. Lara


  2. Lara


  3. tight lipped smiler

    Still it’s only a matter of time until Lil Elvis & Jay-Bob file emancipation proclamations and/or restraining orders against her.

  4. She heard they located her Cheetos stash and she piss drunk with rage.

  5. havoc

    Who cares?

    We need more Kim Kardashian ass photos.



  6. joe

    Dear God she looks heidious ! Just look at her ! i won’t even accept her to me my janitor !

  7. Sara

    Is she pregnant?

  8. I am so sick of ass sweat. Every fucking day, I sit in this cubicle and slowly fill Buttrack Canal. It wouldn’t kill them to fix the fucking air conditioning. Thank god chicks kinda dig the butt sweat smell at the end of the day…

  9. tom

    No she is not pregnant that’s just a fat roll hanging !!!! burkkkkkkkkkkkk

  10. The Kilted Yaksman

    Wow. Way to rock the fat-rolls and zits, Brit. At least she looks like she’s warshed her hair sometime in the past week.

  11. Look at Tubby!

    Quite a belly she’s sporting. Just Cheetos, or is #3 on the way?

  12. Penis-Mightier

    Nope, she still looks like a mongo to me.

  13. @8 You so funny troll..

  14. absolute2

    Leave Britney alone. She is my favorite. She will still rocks. I saw her milllionaire dating site ——”W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m**** last week. Good luck to her search. It seems Britney is seeking true love online now.

  15. I hope she dresses up a little better than that for court because that isn’t exactly her best “Momma ain’t crazy no more” look.

  16. Dick

    When did she turn into this jowly monster ! she used to be hot now she is not even hot but despicable !!!

  17. nipolian

    Someone better get Brit an EPT and some zit cream from the looks of these pics.

  18. Anexio

    I dont know if you understand the power of brit cause she can get anyone back on their feet and that includes all TV shows. She constantly is makeing other shwos and people better by her mear presants. That is a total fact and if you donot belive me then you can look it up on the google cause its in there like a 100 times or more sometimes.

    The only problam that I see with this thing is that she cant get any better, she already the biggest thing ever in the history of the world. Thats why she spends her day helping others and dancing all the time. When fans like us are around her they just get better and thats what make brit happy now.

  19. Captain-Insano

    #18: By helping others do you mean driving with her kids on her lap numerous times, yelling at staff in clothing stores, shoplifting wigs, and wasting thousands of dollars by showing up late for music video shoots? Yup, she’s a saint.


  20. T

    What the hell? She looks good in some picks and absolutely hideous in others. These being the latter. She needs a LOT of work to get back in shape.
    She looks like she’s becoming somewhat sane, too. I was just about to give up on her, but thankfully she seems to have rebounded from her jaunt into insanity.

  21. Captain-Insano

    #18 Oops, I forgot felony hit and run.

  22. T

    Anexio, where the hell did you learn English?

  23. Jackson

    7 & 9

    All Britt needs to do is wear a girdle or body shapers like Kim Kardaskank and some people will consider her hot lol!

  24. veggi

    my new favorite word: donot. Say it!! Say it ouloud!! donot donot donot!!

    Britney is just food pregnant.. Ha! I just pictured a bag of cheetos with a diaper and a smiley face drawn on it with a sharpie..

  25. BunnyButt

    Are we sure this is Britney? I don’t see any latte stains on that shirt…

  26. Are you pregnant…………………………………………………………………….AGAIN!!!!

  27. andie

    I just can’t imagine how bad you’d have to be to lose your kids to K-fed. And yeah, if she wants to be a pop star she’d better get her ass in shape. I’m *cough* ten *cough* years older than her and I have kids and my belly doesn’t look like that. Of course, I’m not a cheeto addict. I do enjoy the occasional cheezy-poof, but I know when to say when. Yeah, her skin needs work, too.
    It just goes to show you can take the family out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of the family. Has anybody seen the Canadian trailer park TV show? Now THAT’S what she should be guest starring on. Hell, they should make her a regular, she’d fit right in.

  28. fygu

    Nice gunt. Once and for all, she’s GROSS.

  29. eh

    i must say i was never a fan of her music and her latest music is nothing to talk about, but man i had a hot body when i was 16 and granted i am no longer 16 i still have a smokin body but so i should i am only 22 years old
    this women is my inspiration to never let my self get out of shape, to never shave my head even if it is for cancer, and so many other things

  30. hate you for no reason


  31. pistola

    SO pregnant!

  32. poot

    it’s okay, i’m having a food baby, too.
    what are mear presants?

  33. Anonymous

    “i still have a smokin body”

    Obviously, in your case, that does not translate to having brains too.

  34. Christopher

    Still an uggo skank ho’bag

  35. routhless

    Brother, I’ve had that same dream ever y night (and a few nooner quickies) ever since i first saw that hottie in her school girl skirt, tied-shirt and long socks…only diff, is that I’m always screaming, as Brit is going to town on my body. Damn, that girl (crazy or semi-sane) is Heaven on Earth with one Devil of a Body!

  36. BJ

    36–You sound like a pedophile!

  37. routhless

    37 – Never on that charge!!…However, I do have one major Britney Fetish. That gals got it all; money lips, bedroom eyes, strong thighs, poppin tush and an attitute (And for the record, a little insanity in the bedroom is CRAZY). Superficial ain’t the only one dreaming of Britney being a Slave for You!

  38. fygu

    no #37, he/she sounds 12.

  39. fygu

    Routhless just go to a carnival anywhere in the rural midwest and you’ll find a hundred girls who look just like her.

  40. routhless

    lol 39 & 40…For the record, I’m ten yrs older than Brit and when she bust onto the scene she was legal and smokin hot!! Ten yrs later, ms. insane is one hot carnival act! Superficial and I could never have enough pics (sexy hot or freak show material) of the Dream Babe.

  41. mcbeef


    1. insert loaded gun into mouth.
    2. pull trigger.

    thanks for playing.

  42. routhless

    42 mchomo – you sound as if you’re an expert at putting loaded “guns” into your mouth and pulling on its “trigger”… Heard you learned that game young from your time with Uncle Johnny Coldhands down in the cellar. Thx for the invite to play along, but I’m happy with Brit as my trigger puller.

  43. mcbeef

    i see you went with the, “oh yeah, well, you are a homo” response. CLASSIC!

    i will see your “you are a homo” response and raise you to “i know you are but what i am i” with a side of “i’m rubber, you’re glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you.”

    how you like them apples, you sack of shit 12 year old. why don’t you take your fucking tiger beat out to your clubhouse and jack off to pictures of that fat pile of grease and drumsticks. don’t come back here until you get some hair on your nuts or at least a better taste in women.

  44. KBB

    I would hate to think how fat she would be if she wasnt going to the gym and working out. Or maybe she is just putting in a crappy effort when she is working out — which would be just like her approach to parenting.

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