On December 4, Christie’s is going to auction off a page from Britney Spears’ junior high school notebook featuring a “handwritten review of Rex Warner’s translation of Sophocles’ story Antigone, written in black ballpoint pen on either side of the page, Britney’s review annotated by her teacher with corrections to her spelling and comments including …Nice cover Organized Watch your spelling… and Write more neatly and her grade: 88; and a corresponding piece of yellow card decorated with the book’s title Antigone in black felt pen.”
I tried reading this but gave up after my brain started to melt. If you give it a try you’ll understand. Or you won’t, because your brain will have melted. I’m surprised there weren’t more typos, but I was also expecting it to be written on unicorn stationary. Go figure.
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:05 pm
FIRST!!!!!
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:06 pm
SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:06 pm
THIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:06 pm
FOURTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:07 pm
FIFTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:08 pm
isn’t someone going to stop me?
llllllllll | November 27, 2006 at 1:09 pm
oh well,
SIXTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spindoc | November 27, 2006 at 1:10 pm
That got an 88?! I weep for the future.
EJ | November 27, 2006 at 1:10 pm
On a side rant, this is why our high schools are turning out idiots by the bucketful: a passing grade is handed out to a mere blow-by-blow that reiterates the story.
Sure, it proves the kid did the reading assignment, but where is the critical thinking? Are the children asked to discuss the difference between following the law, and following your family obligations? Are they asked to consider whether some laws are inherently unjust and should be broken? Whether it is better to live in cowardice than to die nobly?
No. Just regurgitate the particulars, get your damn 88 and off you go to Advanced Lit. Bleh.
/rant
yournamehere | November 27, 2006 at 1:10 pm
for this post you should have written “ferst” “sekind” “therd” etc
enfilade | November 27, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Next we’ll be auctioning off celebrities trash! Oh.. Wait..
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
yournamehere | November 27, 2006 at 1:12 pm
britney was giving the teacher anal, she should have argued for at least a 94
AuntTora | November 27, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Coming out of lurkdom to say: (1) I despair of people who cannot grasp the difference between “looses” and “loses”, and (2) all teachers should immediately get a huge raise just for having to look at penmanship like this. All I could read was a sentence and a half before ripping out huge chunks of hair.
jrzmommy | November 27, 2006 at 1:19 pm
I got as far as the second word in the third line and thought I was having a stroke.
JungleRed | November 27, 2006 at 1:21 pm
I could’ve been 8th, but I wanted to see long lllllllllll would keep going.
(That’s right, my life is sad)
Italian Stallion | November 27, 2006 at 1:31 pm
She didn’t write that in junior high. She wrote that last week while getting high and the corrections were made by the family dog. Get your shit right Fish………..
theblemish.com | November 27, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Jesus, I weep for the teacher that had to read that. She should just stick to wearing a skirt and no panties. It’s all she’s good at.
http://theblemish.com
Celetina | November 27, 2006 at 1:34 pm
“Antigone is about a girl who loses her brother during a war.”
Really? Funny, I thought it was about piety and dishonor, disobedience and respect, and parents and children. These are not hugely difficult themes to grasp. How the fuck does anybody read oen of the greatest Greek tragedies and sum it up as “a girl who loses her brother during a war”? Even as a middle schooler I could’ve come up with something less retarded than that.
I know Britney is all ready to start her life again, but this seems like a pretty lousy way to go.
PapaHotNuts | November 27, 2006 at 1:37 pm
This was written on the back:
“I wonder if a butterfly’s wings ever get tired? How come Windex ain’t good to drink? I Love the Price is Right. I can’t get rid of these panty crickets. My uncle keeps touching my swimsuit area. Sunshine makes me smile. How much do Negros cost? I love chicken.”
fearsarewishes | November 27, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Ms. Spears still thinks the title of this play is properly pronounced, Anti-Gone.
Missallanpoe | November 27, 2006 at 1:42 pm
Congratz llllllllll, you are now 7 times the idiot you were before. As for Britneys writting, I couldn’t get past the part about the milkshake planning to take over the world with the CEO of coca cola…that was just plain weird.
Italian Stallion | November 27, 2006 at 1:43 pm
LOL@19 “panty crickets”……….
polypam | November 27, 2006 at 1:45 pm
Lindsay Lohan should have had Britney Spears write that letter about Robert Altman as it surely would have made a lot more sense. Who knew that Britney at 12 had more brain power than Lindsay at 20?
frenchtoaststix | November 27, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Uh, mah brain done melted out my ears from reading that.
It belongs in this book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1416928073/ref=wl_it_dp/102-1835925-2416922?ie=UTF8&coliid=IQIT229SWKOI9&colid=1VIX36MA4O2VM
lohanjob | November 27, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Her teacher is a halfwit too. Does the teacher think that Antigone ‘looses’ her brother in the story? The level of stupidity in the world makes me want to scream.
MargeAggedon | November 27, 2006 at 1:56 pm
#1 through #7 = LOL
As for bratteny, this can’t be her paper. It isn’t covered in stickers or written in crayon. Was she buying her “lyrics” back then as well?
RichPort | November 27, 2006 at 2:00 pm
I bet the stupid bitch even got a ghost writer for this outstanding piece of shit.
86 | November 27, 2006 at 2:06 pm
19 that made me cry
Sidney | November 27, 2006 at 2:11 pm
What are the chances that the highly complex differences between “their,” “there,” and “they’re” still trip her up?
Let’s hope that her children don’t end up home schooled.
sinbad | November 27, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Umm, Mister Superficial guy? Speaking of “watch your spelling…it’s actually spelled “stationery.” I give you an 88 on this post.
MadSeason | November 27, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Why the hell is this interesting? It’s ridiculous. What, are her kindergarten finger paintings going to be sold too? Or how about her first grade hand-made Christmas ornament? You know, the one with her school picture glued onto popsicle sticks? Yeah, I can’t hide my excitement.
86 | November 27, 2006 at 2:23 pm
When Courtney Love sold Kurt Cobain’s notebook it was interesting because his writings pertained to his career and his passion. What does this crap reflect? She’s not a literary scholar so why would she think that people would pay money for this? This aint no sex tape, Brit. Stick to whatcha knoooow.
gossipgirl010 | November 27, 2006 at 2:27 pm
Even the teacher is stupid. Who could miss “A advisor came along…”? What are you, 4 years old? Damn.
pop | November 27, 2006 at 2:27 pm
she’s literate? who cares…want a bigger story?? jessica simpson has a SEX TAPE!! britney auctions book report OR SEX TAPE…..read here (and it doesn’t include dirty joe simpson):
http://www.popculturepundit.com/
diedl | November 27, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Wow. Now there’s no doubt she was raised in the South. Hell, even the TEACHER didn’t catch half of the mistakes. I want to think she was simply choosing her battles, but I doubt it. What a moron.
melzarooo | November 27, 2006 at 2:55 pm
I translated it. I could read it perfectly somehow.
Antigone is about a girl who loses her brother during a war. She wants to bury them, but the new lems, Creon, will not allow it, and who shall even do so shall be killed. Antigione wants her brother buried, because she wants him to be able to be in the heaven of ghost. So she goes out and buries him. There was a rumor about her burying her brother, so the gleundo keeps a good look out, finally, they catch her. They take her to the king. She king?s son is suppost to marry her he xon legs his father to have Marriage, but nothing stops him. He puts her in a dramlen. A adviser comes along and warns him that the Gods angry with him he gets doomed to he lits hers go where they set to the chamber they find her dead, everyone of suicide. Her soon to be husband kills himself because he cant stand the thought…
melzarooo | November 27, 2006 at 2:56 pm
*the king
melzarooo | November 27, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Antigone is about a girl who loses her brother during a war. She wants to bury them, but the new lems, Creon, will not allow it, and who shall even do so shall be killed. Antigione wants her brother buried, because she wants him to be able to be in the heaven of ghost. So she goes out and buries him. There was a rumor about her burying her brother, so the gleundo keeps a good look out, finally, they catch her. They take her to the king. The king’s son is suppost to marry her he xon legs his father to have Marriage, but nothing stops him. He puts her in a dungeon. A adviser comes along and warns him that the Gods angry with him he gets doomed to he lits hers go where they set to the chamber they find her dead, everyone of suicide. Her soon to be husband kills himself because he cant stand the thought…
gah i keep wanting to correct it for her. but thats how it is.
CelebSlam.com | November 27, 2006 at 2:59 pm
I like how the teacher doesn’t correct the spelling of ‘loose’ in the opening sentence
http://www.celebslam.com
Charm | November 27, 2006 at 3:00 pm
More important than the post and picture of this essay to be auctioned, is the complete fucking loser who buys it. I’d really like an update, just so I know the face of someone who would spend money on this wash-outs homework.
sexybitch | November 27, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Unbelievable. A Geek tragedy.
Cat | November 27, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Did anyone else notice that in the second to the last line, she wrote “Her soon to be husband kills hisself?” The teacher wrote an “m” over the first “s,” but that’s what she wrote. “Hisself.”
Oh, and 19, you made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pass out.
Coolguy8621 | November 27, 2006 at 3:43 pm
she was in junior high, giver he a break, im sure all of you were writing the great american novel in 8th grade right?
Only1WWFF | November 27, 2006 at 3:46 pm
First, WTF’s a panty cricket? And 40, I’m with you. What do you do after you write your 5 million dollar check for this, frame it?
Goonly | November 27, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Someone stepped on her work, as is evidenced by the footprint.
the boy | November 27, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Selling price: $7.63 tops.
pixel killya | November 27, 2006 at 4:43 pm
Bird cage lining…..at best.
S.P.F.R.S. | November 27, 2006 at 4:44 pm
I hate to find myself defending that pig, but she was in Junior High at the time. Did you expect a literary genius? In fact, her writing is not that bad compared to what middle schoolers and Jun. High’ers crank out now.
katlady12 | November 27, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Lord have mercy. Is this what our celeb-crazed society has come too? Who gives a rats ass what she wrote 10 or so years ago. We should be ashamed of ourselves….NOT. Happy bidding, ya’ll!
eXtasyStef | November 27, 2006 at 5:00 pm
Yes, but they’re not selling it in auction.
That’s probably where all her panties went, too.