Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reportedly named their newborn son Sutton Pierce Federline, though they’ve yet to confirm the naming or even the fact that they’ve given birth. Coincidentally (or maybe on purpose but that would be really sad) Sutton Pierce now shares the same initials as his older brother, Sean Preston Federline. Which is fun for like three hours, but then it’s gonna suck when they need to buy matching embroidered handkerchiefs. “And why would they need embroidered handkerchiefs?” you might ask. Well how else are they supposed to look snooty as they blow their noses or surrender to the opposing army with a makeshift white flag? Huh, smartass? Next time think before you ask stupid questions.
RichPort | September 18, 2006 at 6:19 am
They really should just name him ‘son’, make the kid feel like a total unwanted loser. Just like Daddy.
thirstyacorns | September 18, 2006 at 6:20 am
Is his penis exceptionally small? Becuase I thought this was supposed to be a girl.
Italian Stallion | September 18, 2006 at 6:27 am
Sutton? Should have named him Country, that would have been a lot better………
Or Fucked……..
dupababy | September 18, 2006 at 6:31 am
that’s a purty high-fallutin’ name for those two to remember.. but i guess if they abbreviate to sp1 and sp2 well, it’s a feat they might be able to manage..
good now too that the addition of a new kid reduces the odds that either one will suffer the wrath of 100% parental unit attention/neglect.. good luck kids.. you’re gonna need it round there..
libtard | September 18, 2006 at 6:32 am
In keeping with the S.P. tradition, Brittney has legally changed her name to Slut Princess. Mr. Spears will heretofore be known as Salaried Penis.
That is all.
Mtg Babe | September 18, 2006 at 6:36 am
Well, what can we really say after all we have seen, they should think twice about the name and take in consideration some of the following: Yomamma, French Fries Federline, Burger Shark Federline, that will be more like it.
Obadiah | September 18, 2006 at 6:37 am
I’ve waited all weekend for a new post and this is all I get? =**(
http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton
krisdylee | September 18, 2006 at 6:38 am
Well, I hope the doctor threw in a couple of IUD’s when he was fishin’ the baby outta there. NO MORE BABIES BRITNEY…. enough is enough.
Fuck.
sharkbite | September 18, 2006 at 6:47 am
They should put him up for adoption and save him the therapy he’ll need later on. That and he might make it to adulthood.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
Obadiah | September 18, 2006 at 6:47 am
And don’t get me wrong Karl. I love you!!!
http://myspace.com/ihateperezhilton
JBean | September 18, 2006 at 6:57 am
Who would name their child Sutton?? Shame, it’s almost as bad as Gwyneth naming her child after a flippin’ fruit.
trailercamptramp | September 18, 2006 at 6:59 am
no 3 is the funnyiest thing i read here in a long time ( over the troll shit)
biatcho | September 18, 2006 at 7:04 am
Trailer park country trash trying to make it sound like her kids are WASPS from Connecticut. What the bitch doesn’t realize is that you have to have a WASPY last name in order for it to sound schmancy. Like Quartermaine or Howell… not fucking Federline. Retards.
jrzmommy | September 18, 2006 at 7:07 am
stupid people…stupid name. poor kids.
LoneWolf | September 18, 2006 at 7:09 am
Some names that would have been more approriate:
Cletus Jed
Billy Bob
Zeke Moonshine
Jimmy Jeff
Johnny Walker
Jim Beam
Jethro Bodine
Luke McCoy
Of course, if she wanted to cut to the chase she’d have named him what he’s going to be called once he starts school: Punching Bag.
Italian Stallion | September 18, 2006 at 7:46 am
@12 Do I detect a bit of sarcasim? Over the troll shit? Don’t get it………………
UNWASHEDMASSES | September 18, 2006 at 7:54 am
The kid’s called Sutton because to quote Britney, “I jus’ sutton Kayvins cock and nine months later out popped bay-bee!”
LuScIoUsX | September 18, 2006 at 7:55 am
god she’s so fucked up its not even funny
commissioner | September 18, 2006 at 7:55 am
#5
ha, ha. When will we see a SP3?
flamarkel | September 18, 2006 at 7:57 am
Department of Child Services: Reservation for 2, please.
RichPort | September 18, 2006 at 8:00 am
Watching Britney balance two babies will be the epitome of hilarity. Hopefully the new one has feet suitable for grasping branches or little suckers on his appendages like a gecko. It’ll be his only chance against impending concussions. Let the infant dropping begin!
Ramdonomo | September 18, 2006 at 8:05 am
We knew this last week… wth. At least the end of the article was funny.
CelebSlam.com | September 18, 2006 at 8:24 am
I had money on Cletus
http://www.celebslam.com
Angry Ferret Jones | September 18, 2006 at 8:25 am
Poor kid.
LL | September 18, 2006 at 8:30 am
I’m pleasantly surprised. Yeah, Sutton Pierce is a sorta foo-foo name, but it’s better than I expected from Britney and K-Fed. I expected them to name a boy P. Diddy or Adidas Escalade or some other trashy name that reflects their love of trashy culture, but they actually (if this story is true) gave him a somewhat respectable-sounding name that won’t make him want to curl into a ball and die every time someone says it in school. Now she needs to get one of those double strollers and keep the kids strapped in tight. And maybe have someone else push the stroller, just to be safe.
ScarletStarlet | September 18, 2006 at 9:10 am
I don’t know why people are still bitching at them – the two stupidest people in Hollywood have given their kids really decent names. I’m actually pleasantly surprised that they’re NOT giving them ridiculous names, as is seemingly the trend these days.
Lay off of them for once.
edb87 | September 18, 2006 at 9:14 am
Sutton? Sounds like the place my dad bought his recliner from. Something tells me Sean will be a badass and Sutton will still be living with his mom at the age of 30.
http://www.edquartersaudio.com
causaubon | September 18, 2006 at 9:14 am
there’s a hotel here in Toronto called Sutton Place- perhaps that’s where he was conceived?
Xanthia | September 18, 2006 at 9:51 am
My opinion (which counts for exactly nada):
She had to go with the same initials so that when Sutton has to wear the hand me downs of Sean, because K-F*ked spent them into bankruptcy the initials would be the same on their overalls.
RichPort | September 18, 2006 at 9:53 am
I am the only one who wants to punch her in the bottom lip, again and again?
sweety | September 18, 2006 at 9:53 am
Whyhas she becoma so incredibly ugly? HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE???
Angry Ferret Jones | September 18, 2006 at 10:14 am
I wonder if the two of them will grow up like Niles and Frasier Crane? Raised by redneck hillbillies, they will secretly study art and literature at the back of the trailer. One day they will catch a hay-wagon out of the South, and end up pimping out $3,000/night hookers in Port Charles.
It is the goddamn American dream.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 18, 2006 at 10:14 am
I wonder if the two of them will grow up like Niles and Frasier Crane? Raised by redneck hillbillies, they will secretly study art and literature at the back of the trailer. One day they will catch a hay-wagon out of the South, and end up pimping out $3,000/night hookers in Port Charles.
It is the goddamn American dream.
Angry Ferret Jones | September 18, 2006 at 10:15 am
Fish – what is up with the comment system? It is seriously sucking my left ass-cheek today.
And you know that is my favorite cheek.
whodatiz | September 18, 2006 at 10:21 am
Combined, their sunblock quotient is SPF 2…
HolisticWisdomcom | September 18, 2006 at 10:33 am
I wonder if they looked up what the slang term for sutton means-
a bit sutton-
Stupid child, normally cross-eyed, illiterate and foul-mouthed
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=a+bit+sutton
monkeymari | September 18, 2006 at 10:39 am
Why it is that trailer trash pig looking celebrities like this one think is so cute when they make these stupid ass faces!!! Uhhhhhhhhh she
Brain Embolism | September 18, 2006 at 11:11 am
#35.. Where have I heard that before??
Who is the Superfish calling a smartass?
Maybe it’s a rhetorical question.
Italian Stallion | September 18, 2006 at 11:12 am
@37 So you can afford shit that she can huh?
Try buying an English book………
Why it is that?
Is not like?
See what had happen was………….
commissioner | September 18, 2006 at 11:47 am
She should try for SP3 before her maternity clothes go out of style.
libtard | September 18, 2006 at 2:33 pm
#19….. To answer your question, I have it on good authority that baby number 3 will also be a boy and shall be named Skallywag Piratehook.
I got nuthin’, sorry.
popcornsuite | September 18, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Fine. Whatthehellever.
Now get your tubes tied, Britney. And while you’re at it, drag Kevin to the clinic with you and get him a vasectomy. Neither one of you need to have anymore babies with ANYONE.
What The Sha?? | September 18, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Babies are ugly.
Period.
Amy | September 18, 2006 at 7:30 pm
#11: haha. sutton is a MILLION times worse. apple is at least kind of like rose or daisy or fern. sutton is just… crap.
becca11 | September 18, 2006 at 9:39 pm
will she ever look like this again
http://s23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/becsta11/?start=#imgAnch13
M.T. | September 19, 2006 at 12:39 am
In answer to the question of No. 45….The deal with satan is still under going some paperwork and legal details. I mean with britney being so fertile and all…it complicates things.
Doodlebug | September 19, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Poor little dude. Yes, he gets to be a millionaire, but on the other hand his parents are such dumbasses that the fortune will most likely be invested on fried chicken and mayonnaise by the time he can say “moola”.
Dixiegirl | September 19, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Sutton happens to be a rather common surname in the South. It is my mother’s maiden name and a friend of mine used it as her daughter’s middle name. Personally, I like it as a first name and it is better than some of the insane things other celebrities have chosen. Apple, I can accept that… but Audio Science and Pilot Inspektor or whatever? Sheesh.
fat ugly girl with frizzy curly hair | September 19, 2006 at 8:08 pm
trailer trash
jennyliz | September 20, 2006 at 4:34 pm
Ok, first of all…#15 & #17 – LOL
Second, Britney is so far gone now…I don’t think there is any hope of recovery. I mean, come on. It really is just sad now…how is she gonna manage to carry BOTH babies?? Girl hasn’t worked out in years! Close your legs, girl…no more babies!