Britney Spears and Kevin Federline name son

September 18th, 2006 // 54 Comments

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reportedly named their newborn son Sutton Pierce Federline, though they’ve yet to confirm the naming or even the fact that they’ve given birth. Coincidentally (or maybe on purpose but that would be really sad) Sutton Pierce now shares the same initials as his older brother, Sean Preston Federline. Which is fun for like three hours, but then it’s gonna suck when they need to buy matching embroidered handkerchiefs. “And why would they need embroidered handkerchiefs?” you might ask. Well how else are they supposed to look snooty as they blow their noses or surrender to the opposing army with a makeshift white flag? Huh, smartass? Next time think before you ask stupid questions.


  1. RichPort

    They really should just name him ‘son’, make the kid feel like a total unwanted loser. Just like Daddy.

  2. thirstyacorns

    Is his penis exceptionally small? Becuase I thought this was supposed to be a girl.

  3. Italian Stallion

    Sutton? Should have named him Country, that would have been a lot better………

    Or Fucked……..

  4. that’s a purty high-fallutin’ name for those two to remember.. but i guess if they abbreviate to sp1 and sp2 well, it’s a feat they might be able to manage..
    good now too that the addition of a new kid reduces the odds that either one will suffer the wrath of 100% parental unit attention/neglect.. good luck kids.. you’re gonna need it round there..

  5. libtard

    In keeping with the S.P. tradition, Brittney has legally changed her name to Slut Princess. Mr. Spears will heretofore be known as Salaried Penis.

    That is all.

  6. Mtg Babe

    Well, what can we really say after all we have seen, they should think twice about the name and take in consideration some of the following: Yomamma, French Fries Federline, Burger Shark Federline, that will be more like it.

  7. I’ve waited all weekend for a new post and this is all I get? =**(

  8. krisdylee

    Well, I hope the doctor threw in a couple of IUD’s when he was fishin’ the baby outta there. NO MORE BABIES BRITNEY…. enough is enough.


  9. They should put him up for adoption and save him the therapy he’ll need later on. That and he might make it to adulthood.

  10. And don’t get me wrong Karl. I love you!!!

  11. JBean

    Who would name their child Sutton?? Shame, it’s almost as bad as Gwyneth naming her child after a flippin’ fruit.

  12. trailercamptramp

    no 3 is the funnyiest thing i read here in a long time ( over the troll shit)

  13. biatcho

    Trailer park country trash trying to make it sound like her kids are WASPS from Connecticut. What the bitch doesn’t realize is that you have to have a WASPY last name in order for it to sound schmancy. Like Quartermaine or Howell… not fucking Federline. Retards.

  14. jrzmommy

    stupid people…stupid name. poor kids.

  15. LoneWolf

    Some names that would have been more approriate:

    Cletus Jed
    Billy Bob
    Zeke Moonshine
    Jimmy Jeff
    Johnny Walker
    Jim Beam
    Jethro Bodine
    Luke McCoy

    Of course, if she wanted to cut to the chase she’d have named him what he’s going to be called once he starts school: Punching Bag.

  16. Italian Stallion

    @12 Do I detect a bit of sarcasim? Over the troll shit? Don’t get it………………

  17. The kid’s called Sutton because to quote Britney, “I jus’ sutton Kayvins cock and nine months later out popped bay-bee!”

  18. LuScIoUsX

    god she’s so fucked up its not even funny

  19. commissioner


    ha, ha. When will we see a SP3?

  20. flamarkel

    Department of Child Services: Reservation for 2, please.

  21. RichPort

    Watching Britney balance two babies will be the epitome of hilarity. Hopefully the new one has feet suitable for grasping branches or little suckers on his appendages like a gecko. It’ll be his only chance against impending concussions. Let the infant dropping begin!

  22. Ramdonomo

    We knew this last week… wth. At least the end of the article was funny.

  23. LL

    I’m pleasantly surprised. Yeah, Sutton Pierce is a sorta foo-foo name, but it’s better than I expected from Britney and K-Fed. I expected them to name a boy P. Diddy or Adidas Escalade or some other trashy name that reflects their love of trashy culture, but they actually (if this story is true) gave him a somewhat respectable-sounding name that won’t make him want to curl into a ball and die every time someone says it in school. Now she needs to get one of those double strollers and keep the kids strapped in tight. And maybe have someone else push the stroller, just to be safe.

  24. ScarletStarlet

    I don’t know why people are still bitching at them – the two stupidest people in Hollywood have given their kids really decent names. I’m actually pleasantly surprised that they’re NOT giving them ridiculous names, as is seemingly the trend these days.

    Lay off of them for once.

  25. Sutton? Sounds like the place my dad bought his recliner from. Something tells me Sean will be a badass and Sutton will still be living with his mom at the age of 30.

  26. causaubon

    there’s a hotel here in Toronto called Sutton Place- perhaps that’s where he was conceived?

  27. Xanthia

    My opinion (which counts for exactly nada):

    She had to go with the same initials so that when Sutton has to wear the hand me downs of Sean, because K-F*ked spent them into bankruptcy the initials would be the same on their overalls.

  28. RichPort

    I am the only one who wants to punch her in the bottom lip, again and again?

  29. sweety

    Whyhas she becoma so incredibly ugly? HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE???

  30. I wonder if the two of them will grow up like Niles and Frasier Crane? Raised by redneck hillbillies, they will secretly study art and literature at the back of the trailer. One day they will catch a hay-wagon out of the South, and end up pimping out $3,000/night hookers in Port Charles.

    It is the goddamn American dream.

  31. I wonder if the two of them will grow up like Niles and Frasier Crane? Raised by redneck hillbillies, they will secretly study art and literature at the back of the trailer. One day they will catch a hay-wagon out of the South, and end up pimping out $3,000/night hookers in Port Charles.

    It is the goddamn American dream.

  32. Fish – what is up with the comment system? It is seriously sucking my left ass-cheek today.

    And you know that is my favorite cheek.

  33. whodatiz

    Combined, their sunblock quotient is SPF 2…

  34. I wonder if they looked up what the slang term for sutton means-

    a bit sutton-

    Stupid child, normally cross-eyed, illiterate and foul-mouthed

  35. monkeymari

    Why it is that trailer trash pig looking celebrities like this one think is so cute when they make these stupid ass faces!!! Uhhhhhhhhh she

  36. Brain Embolism

    #35.. Where have I heard that before??

    Who is the Superfish calling a smartass?
    Maybe it’s a rhetorical question.

  37. Italian Stallion

    @37 So you can afford shit that she can huh?

    Try buying an English book………

    Why it is that?
    Is not like?

    See what had happen was………….

  38. commissioner

    She should try for SP3 before her maternity clothes go out of style.

  39. libtard

    #19….. To answer your question, I have it on good authority that baby number 3 will also be a boy and shall be named Skallywag Piratehook.

    I got nuthin’, sorry.

  40. popcornsuite

    Fine. Whatthehellever.

    Now get your tubes tied, Britney. And while you’re at it, drag Kevin to the clinic with you and get him a vasectomy. Neither one of you need to have anymore babies with ANYONE.

  41. What The Sha??

    Babies are ugly.


  42. Amy

    #11: haha. sutton is a MILLION times worse. apple is at least kind of like rose or daisy or fern. sutton is just… crap.

  43. M.T.

    In answer to the question of No. 45….The deal with satan is still under going some paperwork and legal details. I mean with britney being so fertile and all…it complicates things.

  44. Doodlebug

    Poor little dude. Yes, he gets to be a millionaire, but on the other hand his parents are such dumbasses that the fortune will most likely be invested on fried chicken and mayonnaise by the time he can say “moola”.

  45. Dixiegirl

    Sutton happens to be a rather common surname in the South. It is my mother’s maiden name and a friend of mine used it as her daughter’s middle name. Personally, I like it as a first name and it is better than some of the insane things other celebrities have chosen. Apple, I can accept that… but Audio Science and Pilot Inspektor or whatever? Sheesh.

  46. fat ugly girl with frizzy curly hair

    trailer trash

  47. jennyliz

    Ok, first of all…#15 & #17 – LOL

    Second, Britney is so far gone now…I don’t think there is any hope of recovery. I mean, come on. It really is just sad now…how is she gonna manage to carry BOTH babies?? Girl hasn’t worked out in years! Close your legs, girl…no more babies!

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