Britney Spears almost drops Sean Preston

May 19th, 2006 // 311 Comments

This is old news by now, but I’m still feeling like Ebola has a death grip on me and I’ve been pretty much living in bed. Anyways, Britney Spears was leaving the Ritz Carlton in New York City yesterday, with a drink in one hand and her baby in the other, when she tripped and almost dropped Sean Preston. His head dropped back and his hat fell off before Britney finally regained her balance. After the incident Spears said, “This is why I need a gun.”

I’m not entirely sure how Britney owning a gun would prevent her from dropping her baby. I guess you wouldn’t be worried about dropping your baby if you’ve already accidentally shot it in the face.



  1. Robin

    SP was looking at mustachio man as if to say “TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!! PLEASE!!!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS CRAP ANY MORE!!!!”

  2. I may be mistaken but the weird moustache guy in the last two Brit pics is prolly her “Manny” to take place of what’s hick face when she kicks him to the curb.

  3. pixel killya

    I’ll give Britney a gun, as long as she promises to use it like a car-seat.

  4. missmermaid

    Ahh, boo-hoo for Britney! Where are the violins? She’s dumber than a box of hair, and she deserves what she is getting. Look at her! That picture in McDonalds with her back fat hanging out, her thong up her arse like dental floss, and that god-awful kleenex wrapped around her says it all: trailer trash. Seriously, if she was a nobody cramming an Egg McMuffin into her fat, acne crusted pie-hole while screaming at her snotty kid while he runs around getting ketchupy-fingers all over other people, you’d all be staring in f*cking disgust at what a welfare ditchpig she is. But what, she’s famous, so we all have to stand around in awe like she’s a special case or something?

    She’s so stupid, she makes me sick.

  5. Britney’s falling apart. Literally. I think I see some stuffing poking out. But anyway, it’s so obvious why Britney needed a gun. Ingenius, actually. She was thinking that if she could have a gun, the next time she’s about to drop sean (which believe me, will happen), she’ll just shoot the person in front of her. That way, when sean falls, there will be a dead person on the ground padding the fall. Dead people make great pads.

    TCLTC (BTW, does anyone remember who the first person to say TCLTC was?)

  6. Mooserepellant


    That K-Fed dialogue was classic. I laughed my ass off. Keep it up dude.

    I’m so tired of this bitch’s antics.

  7. punkrocky

    #31….hahahah that was terrible whats wrong with you?

    anyway, yeah the video can totally be seen here:

    seriously though, one day mr. mustachio won’t be there and shes gonna end up either killing her baby or giving it some major brain damage. actually, its probably already completely messed up.

    ugh i dont even want to think about it.

  8. starboard


    If you would wear clothes that fit – and covered in appropriate places – you wouldn’t have to be so concerned about accidents while doing things like, walking…
    Stop looking around and start paying attention to your child!

    sweet lord, bless and keep an eye on that kid… his parents are going to need HIM to take care of THEM

  9. henrysgirl

    Yes, I agree Shitney Smears should be spayed. Please God someone plead a case for sterilization and quick!! Could we declare her mentally retarded? Or K-fag? It’s obvious she can’t look after even one child let alone the spawn inside her rapidly growing belly. Poor fetus is fighting for room, what with the crowding from the Cheeto’s and alcohol taking up precious space. I will start praying for both of the Federline offspring.

  10. ArNoGsEeL

    is it me or does it look like the dude behind her is pushing the baby up?!?!?!

    i dont see how his hand helps.

  11. ebayfan414

    You know, as much as I don’t give a shit about Britney, after seeing this it actually is a little sad. Wait. Wait. Wait…..Ok I’m over it. Stupid bitch.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    Shitney should get no slack. She’s trying to use her baby to generate some positive buzz and/or sympathy. But she’s too stoooooopid to pull it off successfully. Publicity is the only reason why she’s dragging that poor creature all over the godamned countryside for no fucking reason.
    Babies that young should be at home people unless you really need to take them somewhere.

  13. tsarinaamanda

    I don’t feel bad for Shitney. She chose this life, so suck it up, and shut the fuck up. She CHOSE to marry a deadbeat trailer trash serial impregnator who left his GF for her while she was 8 months pregnant, and she CHOSE to get knocked up not once, but twice. Every stupid ass decision she’s made in her worthless life has gotten her to this point, so STFU and fucking deal with it, bitch. She has more options than most people, she can leave this douchewad and still support herself and her kids, which is more than most women can do, so I have no sympathy. You make bad decisions, you reap the consequences. Karma’s a bitch, Brit-Brit, and it’s SO nice to see you getting what you deserve.

  14. gogoboots

    The flash of the paparazzi’s cameras blinded her for a second, people, don’t you know?! It couldn’t possibly be because of:

    a) her unbalanced pregnant body on 7 inch heels
    b) her desire to not spill her drink of liquid cheetos
    c) her too-long funky jeans from the Jessica Simpson line
    d) her boobs were overfilled with breast milk and made her fall

    Other reasons people?

  15. lomies

    drink? duuuuhhhhhhhhhhh … isn’t she supposed to be pregnant at the moment?

  16. tsarinaamanda

    Haha @ 82:

    Great minds think alike on the “Shitney” thing. And you are so right about using that ugly ass kid for publicity. She’s too dumb to realize that everyone is laughing at her stupidity for even having a kid w/K-Fed in the first place and wondering how fucked up it’s gonna be in 20 years. Could she be any more fucking clueless? The only reason she even interests people anymore is because they wanna see how long it takes for her to hit the 300-lb mark, divorce K-Tard, get hooked on meth, or have a complete and total meltdown. I’m taking bets now…..

  17. Fa Cube Itches

    4: Goddamn it, she’ll walk the cuff off of her pantlegs like any good whiskey tango woman, and don’t you forget it! Hem, shmem.

  18. BarbadoSlim

    boobs overfilled with breast milk?


    e)her succesful attempt to not drop the vodka she had on the glass.

    Why the fuck was she carrying a drink glass all over the fucking street in the first place? Doesn’t water come in fucking bottles? That my dear Watson wasn’t water. The only logical conclusion is that she was having a meeting with her Panamanian bankers to talk about their money laundering operation AND she’s slowly poisoning Sean Preston.

  19. krisdylee

    Fuck, no one deserves to be photgraphed having a breakdown. Nothin’ pretty about snot hanging from a bright red nose, puffy eyes, mascara tracks…. I really wish she would take that baby and hide out for awhile, away from the paparazzi, who fuel this fire. Now, I am NOT trying to defend Britney, I couldn’t give my dog’s shit about her…. but c’mon… the pity I felt is eating away at my sarcastic cunty side… and I am cunty. DELICIOUSLY cunty.

  20. Zapp Brannigan

    This sounds like a great comedy movie idea: Ben Stiller is a bodyguard/nanny for a baby, whose mother is an accident prone, hick, has-been teen pop star. It could also be a parody of The Bodyguard.

    I’m doing lunch with my agent next week…

  21. Fa Cube Itches

    57 – Leaving L.A. would be the worst mistake she could EVER make. People in L.A. tolerate her extensive booger-eatin’ moron kind of stupidity because the entertainment industry is here. If she went anywhere else, regular police and child services would be on her ass in about 0.2 seconds.

  22. Fa Cube Itches

    God, if Britney ever gets hold of a gun, she’s gonna make al-Qaida look like Barney Fife (with bullet in pocket). Absolutely NO ONE will be safe.

    On the upside, with that many random shootings, property values in L.A. might drop enough that I can afford to buy a refrigerator box with a view!

  23. Star Maker Machinery

    This bitch needs to put down the shopping bags and the drinks and actually hold her child. That, or let the Dave Grohl look-a-like do it. Not like it matters; her kid looks brain damaged anyways.

  24. Fa Cube Itches

    81: I like the fact that the article says she attempted to use SP as a “little human shield”. I’m starting to picture a great action-comedy with Brit blazin’ away with her new pistol at some menacing criminal-types, while Sean eats round after round after round like that poor son-of-a-bitch on the escalator in “Total Recall”.

    Hold on…I gotta call Paramount and get in touch with Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer!

  25. ebayfan414 it makes fun of everyone we hate: T cruise, olsens, k fed, ashley, lindsay…

  26. Charlaurz McHall

    She is so f***ing stupid. some people should not be allowed to have kids.

  27. huhwah

    Hey, where can I get a

  28. starboard

    @ 94

    wow – that took some time to make! Someone has an honest and true hatred of celebrities

  29. Sweetsens8tion

    I totally agree about shitney bringing all this on herself. This didn’t just start when she became pregnant with SP. This started waaayyyy back when she and k-fag did that idiotic, reality show CHAOTIC…from that moment forth everything she did and will be under scrutiny and up for grabs to anyone who wants to make a punch-line out of her & her every day life…

  30. BinkyMolyneaux

    This may be stating the obvious, but she is the dumbest hillbilly alive.

  31. Tracie

    And in other “New Mom Fashion Emergency” news:

  32. Spacedog

    Britney, don’t eat the brown acid!

  33. BarbadoSlim

    It’s pretty safe to assume that there will BE an E True Hollywood Story featuring the by then, just out of prison after serving a 5 year rap for Possession of Child Pornography Trafficked over Interstate Lines, Sean Preston Federline talking about his mommy issues.

  34. Pagan Queen

    Holy crap Tracie (96) – warn us next time! Scarring my corneas!

    Why is Shitney dressed like a low class stripper? She looks horrid. And a BLACK bra with that halter? EWWWWWWW Since her boobs are getting really full – just dont worry about the bra – then she can turn around and blap the cameras outta the way!

    TRANNY – where are you my prick-ly pear cactus?

  35. VanillaSalTyBaLLs

    I’d put the over/under on a complete meltdown at 14 months….. I’ll take the under.

  36. Pagan Queen

    BarbadoSlim (98) Right after that will be the story of Cody Gifford of the Kathy Me fame. I can see him on the top of a water tower with a gun, and a can of paint defending his sister’s honor.

    SP’s last words: “Hey yall, watch this!”

  37. enrapturelj

    100% HER FAULT! She’s an idiot for wearing too long tattered-hem pant with heels. One would EXPECT to trip. And then carries her kid around like that?!? And don’t EVEN get me started on the whole black bra/halter top spectacle. She needs to get busted by the fashion police next. Instead of going to a toy store she should have gone and bought pants that fit correctly, walking shoes and maybe even a halter bra. In addition to hiring baby catchers to accompany her, she should consider hiring someone to pick out her outfits for her.

  38. Pagan Queen

    Shitney needs Nanny 911. I can just see it now, oh yeah ….

  39. myelevatorbeat

    also, a picture of her tangled jeans and heels..

  40. Sweetsens8tion

    #92 ok Im in agreement that shitney has brought this all on herself. But I am not in agreement about trash talking an innocent child. He didn’t ask to be born nor did he ask to have such an inept mother. So lay off the little guy…

  41. awful

    First she drops Kabbalah, then she drops the kid. Next, hopefully, will be K-Fed.

  42. Is it just me, or does the new body guard look like a moustached reincarnation of Mr. Rogers.

    BTW… I have a two year old. They make strollers with cupholders. You would think Britney would have seen one at Wal*Mart.

  43. frenchtoaststix

    In a perfect world, Sean P. would grow up and marry Suri Cruise (if said alien baby truly exists), impregnate her repeatedly, and continue the trailer-trash existence his hillbilly parents have so expertly demonstrated for him, which we all know would piss off Tom Cruise no end. Katie, meanwhile, would still be chained to the radiator in the basement, blissfully unaware of her daughter’s fate.

    Shitney needs to get a life counselor and a stylist right now, because that bra-under-a-halter, knocked-up within six months of giving birth, slipping while trying to balance your eight month old AND your vodka-tonic, desperately grabbing at any publicity you can get lifestyle is fucked up. And F-Fuck needs a vasectomy.

  44. frenchtoaststix

    Whoops my bad. That’s K-Fuck.

  45. bunnyhugger

    that link was great! reminds me a bit of the stuff weird al used to do!

  46. bunnyhugger

    stupid bitch. on the other hand, she’s an excellent example for her fans about the same age. this is what you should NOT do!

    and where’s mamacita? that dangling participle needs correcting!!
    and so did that one.

    mr. superfish, please get better fast. my life is nothing without you.

  47. iambananas


  48. iambananas

    And she looks bad… I think the drink was ak-a-hol.!!

  49. Misanthropic

    *long drawn out sigh*
    Just another reason just anyone shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.

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