Britney Spears almost drops Sean Preston

May 19th, 2006 // 311 Comments

This is old news by now, but I’m still feeling like Ebola has a death grip on me and I’ve been pretty much living in bed. Anyways, Britney Spears was leaving the Ritz Carlton in New York City yesterday, with a drink in one hand and her baby in the other, when she tripped and almost dropped Sean Preston. His head dropped back and his hat fell off before Britney finally regained her balance. After the incident Spears said, “This is why I need a gun.”

I’m not entirely sure how Britney owning a gun would prevent her from dropping her baby. I guess you wouldn’t be worried about dropping your baby if you’ve already accidentally shot it in the face.



  1. redsonja1313

    @ 19 I’m about get in trouble at work, I just laughed out … Classic

    Wow she couldn’t have tripped because she is in platform sandals and pants that drag on the ground or that she is a pregnant woman with a very normal case of a jacked up sense of gravity ?? Oh wait that would imply she actually read at the OBGY office… I am sure it was the crazy photographers.

  2. law-chick

    To the posters who recommended a stroller, thank you! I can’t believe this stupid bitch doesn’t have one of those, or chooses not to use it. Or even a Baby Bjorn carrier. Jesus, I’m nobody and I have 3 strollers, and two carriers. (I have no idea why.)

    Maybe if she noticed that most strollers had cup holders for her precious slurpee, she’d use it?

  3. Italian Stallion

    Where can you get one of these Mustache Guy’s? How much do they cost? I could get one and make him do yardwork. These Mexicans are getting smarter, and they demand more money. Plus my Patron keeps disappearing, and the dog’s been walking funny. Stallion wants a Mustache Guy to do his hard work so he can sit back and talk to the Tobacco Master minus the Tobacco. And we can play Fear Factor at home. For the second stunt I would make him eat the peanuts out of my crap………….

  4. Ari

    @40, right, she doesn’t seem to realize that some simple fashion sacrifices (which she makes all the time, but not in the right direction) could save that kid.
    Goddammit, woman, put on some proper fitting Levi’s and sneakers and save yourself some trouble!
    She had the sense to have mustache guy carry SP when she was wearing that horrendous orange thing with the heels, why’d she stop now?
    And I have to say that it’s annoying the fuck out of me that I’m thinking that SP is cuter every time I see him, because I really want to hate the whole damn family.

  5. TaftHartley

    The guy has a bit of a young Dan Ackroyd (Blues Bros era) in him.

  6. poppy

    She’s so lame – she never even looks at her child during this whole fiasco. She looks more concerned over her boobs threatening to fly out…
    Mr. Moustache deserves a raise!

  7. Providentius

    Part of me feels a tremendous amount of compassion–this poor Bim will never see a moment’s peace; on the other hand, she has demonstrated irresponsible parenting so sconspicuous that maybe she deserves the scrutiny, and maybe, just maybe, she might learn from it.

  8. giromide

    Someone’s probably already noticed this, but the moustache guy looks like a young Dan Akroyd in these pictures. If this is the case, I hope he returns to the past so we can still enjoy that movie he did with that fat guy. Oh, crap!

    See what happens when you fuck with the timeline, Britney?! You bitch!

  9. mrs.t

    She did not trip. God reached down and smacked her for putting a fucking sideways ball cap on a baby.

  10. PandoraKnight

    I really wish people would just leave her alone.

  11. BoognishRising

    Whoopsy-daisy. Baby almost fall down go boom… again.
    Bitch, I told you to lay off the nitrous oxide.

    Fuck that shit!

  12. ScriptRadar

    Methinks they misquoted her. She actually said: “This is why I need a corndog.”

  13. Rustler

    Good afternoon, I am the mustached man in the photograph. Just wanted say I am really embarrassed… I was trying to catch the hat

  14. Tracie

    Check out the back of her outfit here:
    Note the backless tank top and low-riders with the pink thong sticking out. It’s no wonder little stumpy legs tripped. Britney’s still going for “hot mom”, but looking more like “mentally challenged every day”. When are we going to have to be subjected to little Sean Preston in cornrows?

  15. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    You know those Nextel phones the contractors use, the yellow and black ones? They’re covered in polyurethane or something, so that if they’re dropped, they won’t get messed up.

    Sean Preston need a little jumper made of that stuff, with a matching helmet, then Brit could drop him all she wants.

  16. whitney's sex toys

    a gun? what?

  17. tsarinaamanda

    Mr. Moustache looks like super Mario. If he was my moustache man, I would make him wear the little red and white overalls outfit with the hat, and throw fireballs at everyone. The SMB theme is running through my head as I type this.


    Britney, Paris. Paris, Britney…

    Can we just organize a Mongol Death Match and be done with it already?

  19. BoognishRising

    Looks more like Luigi to me.

  20. ScriptRadar

    Picture this: it’s 1 a.m. ‘Stached bodyguard dude is looking at the centerfold of the current issue of “Soldier of Fortune” magazine. His pager goes off. It’s K-Fed.

    K-Fed: Yo, homes. Check it. Run down to the 7-11 and pick me and the ball ‘n’ chain some Camels, a couple of 40s for my boyz, ‘n’ some… hold up… (shouts offscreen, muffled) Yo, Brit! Want anything from the 7-11? (answer muffled)… ‘n’ some Tampax. Put it on yo’ Amex or some shit. We’ll getcha back. Chop-chop.

    Then ‘stached bodyguard dude picks up his machete and heads out. Fade out.

    I leave the rest to your imagination.

  21. mrs.t

    Look at the bodyguard’s hand…I enjoy Mr. Stache’s “open-palm” stance when saving Sean Preston’s life. He has vowed NOT to fall victim to any type of “inappropriate touching”.

  22. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    I have that ringtone on my phone. It pretty much rocks.

  23. grateful

    OMG! That pic of her crying just made me feel like a really bad person.

  24. tsarinaamanda


    Why in the HELL would that trailer trash (or anyone) wear a shirt like that with a fucking bra? A halter top/backless type shirt is NOT meant to be worn with a bra! As rich as she is, you’d think she could buy some of those boob-cup thingies that just stick to your tits and hold them up. I ordered 2 pairs out of a catalog a couple years ago, they were only about $40 with S/H. I guess she’s too busy spending all her money on Cheetos, Newports, Schlitz malt liquor, and Taco Smell. And ugly orange hard hats for her retarded child. Mmmm….malt liquor.

    The moustache man also reminds me of a shirt I saw that had Mario’s face on it, and it said, “Moustache rides, 5 coins” Damn, these keyboards don’t have that little cent thingy. What’s up with that? Damn, I’m stoned. Sorry for the rambling, disjointed post. I love you guys!

  25. grateful

    Oh and then the backless halter justifies it all. ewe. like a female sheep.

  26. 86

    I never defend celebrities but I think the press is being brutal to her. She loves her kid. I’m sure that trip scared the shit out of her and she knew everyone was there to see it. We should all feel lucky that the press isn’t there to capture every second we spend with our kids because no one is perfect. I mean, they were following her around in a HELICOPTER! She hasn’t put out an album in years and people still won’t leave her alone. She should really consider leaving LA.

  27. Look at her top, was she just leaving the strip club or something?

  28. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Well she is perfectly free to move wherever she wants. She could go buy a big house in the middle of nowhere (with a helicopter to fly her to the store) and spend all her time being a mother to her baby. After all, he IS her new religion. But she chooses to remain in the city, go out looking like an idiot, endangering her child, and drawing all sorts of attention to herself–why? because she likes it. She’d rather get bad publicity than none at all. So I have MINIMAL pity for her, since she chooses to live her life in this manner.

  29. PandoraKnight

    #57 I think she should go back to Louisianna until she gets some peace becasue no one could live a decent life like that. Angie had to go to Africa. I really think we have a problem here.

  30. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    You know, I was going to say something the first time ‘stash boy showed up, but, you know…I drink a lot.
    Really, doesn’t he look like somebody did some kind of stem-cell research on the placenta of Christina Aguilera’s husband?
    Like, Zach Braff maybe?
    Like, maybe he jerked off onto that guy’s placenta when he was born and a saltwater and electrode-filled tank gestated it until the time was right and now he’s watching out for little Sean Preston?
    Soon there will be an army of these guys running around with guns hunting the papparazzi.
    That’s gonna make for AWESOME headlines.
    (And Fez is totally gonna get it, you just know that…)

  31. eva86

    Either she’s inept, incredibly stupid, or has lost touch with reality. In any case, someone’s gotta save her from herself and fast!!!!!

  32. smokeyrobinson

    Little SP’s Guardian Angel is working overtime. Britney is doing everything in her power to kill him.

  33. smokeyrobinson

    Is it me, or has her forehead grown?

  34. Celetina

    Why wasn’t she supporting the baby’s head?! It must be terrifying to fall with a child in your arms, but why wasn’t she holding him with both hands?! If you’re going to be carrying other things around, get a freakin’ stroller, because babies are not as easily begotten as Slurpees.

    Then again, Britney’s greasy, unwashed crotch probably sees the same kind of customers and midnight visits as any Slurpee machine, so I guess I can see how she got confused. “Kev, honey? Are you comin’ for a refill?”

  35. Sweetsens8tion

    If Britany knew she would be hounded by the paparazzi then why on gods green earth did she dress like a stripper taking a break. That alone says she doesn’t give a dam about the paparazzi.

  36. HollyJ

    I wonder.. will this comment post when I click “post” or will it say “comment waiting approval” and leave me dangling like Teri Hatcher’s forehead artery? *nervous anticipation*

    I almost feel sorry for Brit. First time moms do stupid things without thinking, and she’s under a microscope so that every little blunder is broadcast to the universe. She’s an ignorant redneck, too, so it’s hard for her to do the simplest things properly. Poor moron. =(

    On a lighter note…

  37. Nina

    Britney’s human, she makes mistakes just like everybody else. And I’m pretty sure she said she needs a gun to “get rid of” the paparazzi. Looks like she is losing her weight though. Britney is awesome!

  38. HollyJ

    SUCCESS! No dangling! YAY! Thank ya Super Man (and get better soon!)

  39. PKClover

    Well since Charlie Sheen is finding dates on, I guess it’s not so crazy to find out Britney Spears found her nanny on

  40. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Everything else has, so why not.

  41. BarbadoSlim

    Price of a 40 oz jug of King Kobra Malt Liquor $3.00
    Price of a Heckler&Koch P7M13 9mm …$889.00

    Price of hilarity to ensue once this dumb cunt from Louisiana get her hand on both while caring for hr child…..PRICELESS!!!

    Master Card…. master the moments.

  42. delicious_dysfunktion

    Aw,poor Mr. Superfish guy,I’m telling you,he must’ve been the cameraguy at that Pete Doherty interview,so pretty much you can bend over and kiss your ass goodbye dude.

  43. bigponie



  44. Ari

    First time moms DO do stupid things because they don’t know any better. It’s undoubtedly a learning curve. However, I don’t see much about the other four hundred or so babies recently born to celebrities. We haven’t even gotten word that Tom Cruise’s so-called spawn has sprouted antennae yet. I figure it’s just a matter of time on that one though.

    If she hadn’t been a joke before SP was born, she’d probably get more slack…

    Um. And I like her top, but I hate the fact that there’s a bra under it. Then again, I’m a whore… and it’s hot, so I’m thinking the fewer clothes, the better.

  45. ScriptRadar

    #35, #54. You’re right. I feel bad that she’s crying.

    But that doesn’t mean Brit-Brit doesn’t need to get her sh*t-sh*t together.

    If my own sister (whom I love) almost dropped one of my nieces b/c she was: a) carrying a drinking glass at the same time; and/or b) she wore pants that would cause her to trip, I would prolly call her stupid, too.

  46. lulypop

    who the fuck is the dude with the mustache?

  47. Obviously, she hates the kid and keeps trying to kill HIM. THAT’S WHY SHE WANTS A GUN, SO SHE CAN GET IT OVER WITH ONCE AND FOR ALL. She knows that celebrities can do whatever they want in this country and not be convicted. Maybe she should just sell the kid to Michael Jackson.

  48. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    Oh, yeah, loved the Brit’s got a gun thing.
    Had to be said.
    Has there been a TCLTC yet?
    I think so, but the whole “I drink too much”…

  49. libertarienne

    Okay, so what’s with this “I feel so bad” and “people should just leave her alone” bullshit? If she really wanted to get out of the spotlight, she *could* go into seclusion or move somewhere where those damned “pavarottis” don’t expect her to go for a little while. It’s not as if she trapped in NY and LA. She doesn’t *have* to hang out at the Ritz Carlton or stroll down Rodeo where the paparazzi will be waiting to take pictures and *cause* her drop her baby on his head–not that they’re responsible for her unfortunate choice in footwear or pant length. She chose the life she’s living now by becoming a world-famous performer, marrying that douche and popping out a kid during a peak in her career. She chose that outfit, and she chose her suffering…and now I am going to have a hearty belly laugh as her world goes to shit.

    Cold? Heartless? Perhaps. But this isn’t the Mickey-Mouse Feelgood Funtime Forum. This is the ‘Fish.
    Gotta love the schadenfreude, baby.

  50. playahater101

    I’m no fan of Brit’s, believe me but when I saw the pocs of her crying I felt really bad, too. I guess I can understand her being so upset. I have a baby 1 month younger than hers and I would be crying, too. I’d feel bad. Not to mention she’s gonna have a 1 year old and a newborn. I’d be upset, too. I don’t feel TOO bad b/c she’s just gonna hire more people to help her. But I’m curious to know where the douchbag is. He seems to have vanished. Did he finally go away?

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