Britney & Kevin Are Great Parents

November 22nd, 2005 // 17 Comments

britney_kevin_thumb_1.jpgAmerica’s favorite rednecks were at it again over the weekend. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline visited Marquee in New York City Friday night and downed a copious amount of alcohol.

Spears was drinking vanilla rum and orange juice, and according to a source “they seemed very lovey-dovey. They left at 2:30 a.m. while the rest of their crew closed it down.” Son Sean Preston was seen in the back of the car when they left.

A few questions arise here: How long was their kid sitting in the back of the car? Does Kevin rap better drunk than sober? Is their son breast-feeding, and if so, was he loaded? And is it really safe for Britney to do the rebel yell while drinking moonshine from a milk-carton and peeing out the limo window? I don’t think I want to know the answers.

Britney, Kevin Love N.Y. [NY Post]


  1. an44

    you can tell the baby already has the beginnings of a single Kfed-dread, one rhynestone earing stud, a cry dedicated to a white-russian fix, and a diaper full of cheetoh-dyssentary.

  2. You know, I think it is all well and good to live your life and “not be bothered by what the media says about you.” But when your career and thus your child’s fiancial future depend on your public image, then you’d think Britney would be a little more discreet.

  3. Xanthia

    White trash is as white trash does. That kid is doomed!

  4. Georgia

    Xanthia is totally right. He’ll probably get a Baby’s First Meth Kit for his first birthday. Britney ought to invest in a rehab facility cause hes going to need it. Not to say I’d blame him.

  5. I bet Britney’s milk tastes like Miller High Life and stale Marlboro Lights.

  6. nichole

    I really hope this isn’t true…….

  7. tori

    wow. i heard she’s breast feeding, so i’m truly frightened. that poor kid, he doesn’t have a chance in hell.

  8. Britney reminds me so much of this intern I used to have. mmm Britney, leave the kid with Kevin and come “work” for me.

  9. MortyFishbein

    I bet he’s the only baby in America that can change his own diaper and drink his father udner the table.

  10. babylove

    why did britney marry him? honestly!

  11. Just how much longer are we supposed to care about her?

  12. ehaugh

    I feel like Britney is trying to keep Kevin by going to a club and staying out all night drinking and in the mean time, she is totally screwing up her baby. She doesnt want her relationship with Kfed to end just cause that means the whole world was right and he is trash.
    She needs to dump him and focus on being a mother.

  13. Smugalicious

    Someone told her that babies make great accessories. She’s considering getting one for every vehicle.

  14. sassy

    I’m sorry, but I actually though Britney would make a good mom… I mean, she can’t sing, she can’t act, her ass’s too big to shake… this was the only thing letf for her…

    BUT MAN WAS I WRONG!… She’s a terrible mother…I absolutely agree with ehaugh… She’s more concerned about kepping his hubby, than keeping her own baby!… OMG! really… I’m Shocked!… leaving the baby, while boozing up……


  15. Please.. the girl’s from Kentwood. Her son will probably be taking sips of Abita Turbodog by the time he’s 6. That’s about the time I had my first taste of Dixie Beer…

  16. curlifries18

    I dont know why she broke up with justin, Im not a pop lover at all, but at least hes a decent level headed guy!!!

    What the heck is wrong with her, she seems intent on destroying every ounce of respect that she didnt have.

  17. ebayfan414

    No No No No!! You guys misunderstood everything! Britney didn’t drag her baby along and leave him in the car…what actually happened was entirely different.

    You see, though Sean “White Trash” Spears is just a tiny baby, he is already more mature and responsible than his mom Britney and dad Kevin DirtyTrashWhoHooksUpWithRichCelebritiesForTheirCash. So Sean and his mom’s roles have reversed; he is the one in charge.

    He was actually babysitting Britney. That’s why he was waiting in the car for her. He was going to hire someone to look after her, but he figured that she’d probably just end up marrying them, like she ended up marrying the loser dancer that is unfortunately his dad.

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