Britney can exploit her own child, thank you

Britney Spears is threatening to sue anyone on the Internet who publishes photos of her and her new son, which she claims were stolen from a private photo shoot. To be honest, I don’t understand how the obsession with seeing Britney Spears’ baby could be so strong that people would commit crimes in order to see blurry thumbnail-sized pictures of it. All newborns look the same anyway. Just google “Britney Spears,” “Mr. Magoo,” “lactating nipple,” and piece together whatever you find. Or Britney could put the whole subject to rest and release pictures of herself standing next to a baby. Any baby. Hell, pepper spray Dakota Fanning in the eyes, slap a blue bib on her, and I wouldn’t be the wiser. Then again, maybe Dakota Fanning is just really good at playing retarded people’s children.