And Now Back To America’s Royalty: BERTNEY!

December 7th, 2012 // 65 Comments

I’ve often wondered how they manage to coax Britney Spears onto a red carpet without fried chicken hanging in the background, and today I found out the answer: Jason Trawick arrives to each event with a puppy hidden in his jacket which means every single one of these faces is, “Be good and ah getta puppy. Be good and ah getta puppy. Be good and ah getta puppy.” As for how her mansion isn’t overrun with tiny dogs, FACT: McDonald’s Sweet ‘N Sour sauce tastes awesome on everything. Everything.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ms. Spears, could you take two steps to the left, please?”

    “I’m sorry, y’all. I don’t know math.”

  2. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    she always looks scared, dumbstruck or lost. what kind of psychotropic drugs is she on??

    • Jack Ketch

      Probably antipsychotics and antidepressants. To me she just looks damned uncomfortable here. She has to stand and make faces or something. It’s ok when she’s on-stage performing and can lip-synch ?

    • Help Me

      Probably lots. Her family and handlers probably shovel them down her throat to keep her from committing suicide so they can keep her as a cash cow.

      If her fans loved her, they’d stop supporting it all-together. Stop buying her music, stop going to her concerts, boycott this woman for HER sake.

  3. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    And to prove Simons ventriloquist skills, he will now drink a cup of water.

  4. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Demtin
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeaaah, this is the way ah look now…sarry y’all.

  5. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    No, Britney! Just stand there. Why?! Damn it, she’s becoming self-aware again. Increase her dosage!

  6. USDA Prime McBeef

    probably some sort of mood stabilizer and antipsychotic combo. but she’s got an ECT look to her.

  7. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    The face she usually makes 5 seconds before her medication stops working and she starts humping someone’s leg.

  8. alex

    Years ago I bought my niece a watch that played, “oops I did it again” when you hit a button. She loved it.

    She’s looking good in these.

    • I’m assuming your niece was probably an adolescent all those years ago, so her lack of taste is, shall we say, forgivable.

      However, there is no excuse for yours.

    • Mama Pinkus

      I bet your sibling still despises you for buying their kid that annoying fucking watch and forcing them to listen to that insipid song 10,000 times.

  9. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    J to the ROC
    Commented on this photo:

    CONKY LIVES!! (see Trail Park Boys on Netflix, so you know).

  10. FUCKBEAST

    “you are now now rockin’ with double chin and saggy tits”

  11. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Jason Trawick Puppy X Factor Viewing Party
    pavement_smear
    Commented on this photo:

    Got a Yorkie…expected the Taco Bell chihuahua…is not amused.

  12. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    FUCKBEAST
    Commented on this photo:

    “hey, hey, HEY”

  13. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Simon Cowell X Factor Viewing Party
    Curious
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Simon have a candy cane hanging from his crotch?

  14. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Hey Now
    Commented on this photo:

    What is that? Gum? Human flesh? The souls of those who work for her?

  15. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes my gum is Buffalo Wing flavored.

  16. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    will
    Commented on this photo:

    fer me?

  17. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    will
    Commented on this photo:

    derp!

  18. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    will
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay ain’t got nuttin y’all, I took it this fer afor I was a chokin’

  19. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to bang the craziness out of her ass.

  20. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Simon Cowell X Factor Viewing Party
    Mike Walker
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s slowly morphing into that “Son I am dissappoint” guy.

  21. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems she is incapable of taking a decent photo anymore.

  22. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    It would be great if she would put out a tape of her taking it in the butt.

  23. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    Just how the Hell does the once Hottest Woman on the planet turn into someone who looks like she’s always half a fart away from shooting Vanillan FroYo out her nose?

  24. El Jefe

    So sad, I have never seen someone who is so totally dead inside.

  25. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Pff
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to do coke with this chick while she’s doing my cock.

  26. Edg

    Superficial Photo Boy missed her ankles due to that Photoboy might had been thinking about Jon Hammmm sexy penis

    http://tinyurl.com/an8g5o7

  27. kupac

    you are all lovely people.

  28. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Jason Trawick Puppy X Factor Viewing Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That poor little sacrifice.
    Ah well, the shelters are full of ‘em.

  29. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Jason Trawick Puppy X Factor Viewing Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think that dog is real.
    They tell her it’s real though. It gets the job done without the need to actually scoop up little genuine dog turds.

  30. EDDIE HITLER

    The only part of her that hasn’t been ravaged by age, psychosis and child birth is her ass which is still 11 out of 10. Britney + anal porn = bigger than jesus and elvis combined.

    But seriously she needs to be committed. She is seriously unbalanced. She hasn’t taken a picture in over a decade where she wasn’t making an idiotic face or giving crazy eyes.

  31. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    oh Namr
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she take her implants out?

  32. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress is hideous.

  33. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, her teeth look nice.

  34. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Simon Cowell X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Simon is NOT aging well.

  35. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, her weave looks nice.

  36. dee cee

    When will she have money enough to retire and leave all this.. ‘on stage and with her best behavior to please her fans’.. sadness behind her?

  37. Oh I get it. Because she’s Southern you’re going to ignore the hotness and mispronounce her name. Blue state people are soooo witty.

  38. Britney Spears Cleavage Crazy Faces Simon Cowell X Factor Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, ain’t you that feller from that t.v. show? You look f’milar.

  39. Alyssa

    She’s 5000 times hotter than any of you lot if you had 100 photographers in your face flashing the camera every millisecond!
    Stay pressed everyone!

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