Bertney & The Amazing Computer Magicked Bikini

Bertney And The Amazing Computer Magicked Berkini Belly
A Positive Reinforcement Reader

It was a very special day for Bertney. She was at the courthouse seeing the nice old judge who always had the best news to tell Papa.
“Well, Mr. Spears,” the judge said from his very tall wooden seat. “After watching the surveillance footage you so generously provided, I shudder to think what would happen if Ms. Spears were permitted to make decisions for herself. She’s yours for another year!” And with that he banged his tiny little hammer, and Bertney clapped and giggled. It was her favorite part.
“Does that mean we get to live together forever?” Bertney asked Papa excitedly.
“Yes, it does,” Papa said with a very tired smile. Bertney wondered if he was getting enough sleep. “Now, let’s get you ready for your swimsuit pictures. We’re already running behind.”
“Swimsuit pictures? But I don’t want to take swimsuit pictures!” Bertney began to whine. Papa always takes her to get ice cream after court, she thought, it’s nutrition! But before she can say another word, it was already night-night time again. Bertney didn’t remember being tucked in, but sure enough, she was asleep and dreaming about cars made of French fries. She was going to eat a whole highway!
When Bertney awoke, she was in a strange room wearing a bathing suit, so she looked around and waited for Papa to show up with a Frappucino to make the squishy feeling in her head stop. He always knows how to make everything better.
“Why, hello,” said a strange voice from the corner. “How are you today?”
Bertney looked and saw a man she’d recognized from the TV. He was wearing a bathrobe and cleaning himself off with a tissue. Bertney didn’t even know you could do that and suddenly wondered why she always had to take a bath.
“Dr. Bucksdouble?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”
“Theo! I did not think you would recognize me.”
And just like that, the funny talking man threw money at Bertney and ran out the door. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.
“Wait, come back!” she yelled. “I just wanna be friends!”
“Bertney Jean,” Papa said as he rushed into the room. “Who are you talking to?”
Bertney thought very hard about what she should say next. Papa had told her many, many times to be careful when she talks about the chocolate people. And also not to call them chocolate people. This was already starting to get confusing.
“It’s alright,” Papa said while patting her head. “Now let’s get you out there, so we can get these pictures over with. I mean, special playtime! You’re having a special playtime.”
“Nuh uh, it’s pictures! You said pictures! Papa, I hate pictures!” Bertney cried. But before she could pick up a stool, it was night-night time again already. She was a princess fighting an evil dragon made of pudding. Chocolate Jell-O pudding to be exact. It was a silly dream that Bertney would have for the rest of her life.
When Bertney awoke, Papa and another man were staring at a computer screen with Bertney in a swimsuit on it. They were doing all kinds of funny things to her belly which suddenly made Bertney very hungry.
“Grr-argh-a-rabble-blarble!” it said as everyone turned to look at her.
“Sounds like somebody needs a snack,” Papa said with a smile. “Who wants ice cream?”
“Me me me!” Bertney squealed. Every day is always the best day with Papa around.

The End.

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Photo: Women’s Health