Britney Spears Wanted To Be a Lawyer

March 9th, 2011 // 178 Comments

Britney Spears appears in the newest issue of OUT where she answers a series of questions ranging from her favorite way to relax to the worst advice record producers ever gave her. I posted some choice answers below which I should point out were all answered over e-mail (Read: By a publicist.) and explains how Britney understood such concepts as reincarnation and more impressively, her own name:

Assuming reincarnation exists, in a previous life I think I was…
Audrey Hepburn, because she was a trend setter.

Assuming reincarnation exists, in my next life I’d life to be…
A bird, so I can fly.

My idea of hell is…
Being on a diet.

If you hadn’t become a superstar, what career do you think you would have chosen?
I was in seventh grade and it was career day and I remember thinking that I wanted to be an entertainment lawyer. I always knew I would be in this business somehow. I think this path worked out way better.

What is the best advice you’ve gotten and who was it from?
My mom said when you have a bad day, eat ice cream. That’s the best advice.

Lady Gaga is…

Christina Aguilera is…
Truly talented.

Britney Spears is…

WHEEE!! *clap clap clap clap* (Sorry. Just trying to recreate the scene.)

Photos: OUT


  1. Mel

    Does anyone stop and think about what people would say about Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe nowadays with the internet and all? This kids have no idea who the fuck they are talking about.

  2. Bryan

    I don’t care what anybody says, in that first picture with her leg up like that, she looks smoking hot.

  3. Mama Pinkus

    that gal is looking mighty meaty

  4. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Too bad about the face…

  5. Nicole

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh The magic of photoshop.. got to love us graphic designers. I’d like to see her un – retouched photos..

  6. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahahaha@ her hip. There’s a full inch of missing thigh there, jeez what a crap editor.

  7. Britney Spears
    i am frank
    Commented on this photo:

    she will never be attractive again.

  8. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when was it sexy to have knees as thick as your face?

  9. Rhialto

    To be honest, she doesn’t look that bad at all in this pic…

  10. Thick

    Since when is it sexy to have knees as wide as your face?

  11. Nero

    Turns out that we’re on the right track folks….

  12. Your Aquaintance

    Is it weird that i would still hit that harder than a veyron hitting a wall at full speed?

  13. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know why everyone gives this broad a hard time. white trash? ok. likes to eat? ok. irresponsible? ok. She is no different than joe schmoe americanoe. I’d let Mizz Money Bags wrap her thunder thighs around me any day. In fact I’d do 2007 insane bald Britney. You know what crazy equals? Prime sexual beast. You see how she handled that umbrella? She looked like she belonged on the olympic javelin team.

  14. ManiacFive

    I get the impression thats a fairly similar pose to one the bodyguard says has scarred him life. Though I imagine she was holding the other leg as well for that one, and minus the thong.

  15. Mr. Obvious

    Uh, Star Droppings, that’s her Right High Heal. And its not corn dogs, but creosote posts.

    • Star Droppings

      Thanks. I was never good at the whole right/left thing, which is why I’m commenting on thesuperficial instead of, i dunno…. working.

  16. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Lindsay Lohan need more counsel?? That’d be fun

  17. Look at that leg! I bet that bitch can kick like a mule!

    • ladykaka

      imagine how disappointed she was when she got it up there and realised it wasn’t a giant drumstick?

  18. That leg is as big around as her waist used to be, and that’s AFTER photoshop.

  19. the captain


  20. IntelligentAsFellasGet

    I love this woman’s curves. She is so hot.

  21. We should all be thankful that the Internet doesn’t have scratch-n-sniff yet.

    • lulu

      Yours was the only comment that actually made me gag. Imagine scratching and sniffing Britney’s hoo-haa.

      Good job. :)

  22. the captain

    people like ron jeremy sometimes need one…………….

  23. LEB

    Wow, reading this blog update about Britney’s intellectual platitudes made me lose about 10 IQ points. Thanks a lot, asshole.

  24. Kodos

    I could hold onto those thighs…

  25. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d be a perfect lawyer for LIndsay Lohan

  26. Britney Spears is…

  27. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    First hot picture of her in 3 years. I guess I lost that bet with my wife, apparently she’s right and you can get fuckable again after years of donut abuse.

  28. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    okay, let’s do that pose that make a fat chick look hot.

  29. Ash Bones

    I’d like to do her in that position!!

  30. anon

    And people are puzzled why fish are dying en masse @ Redondo Beach? Britney lifted her leg up for that photo and frappuccino farted.

  31. PtC

    I see an arm shadow…I see a head/torso shadow…where the fuck is the leg shadow? They just added that leg in afterward, didn’t they.

  32. XYZ

    Major Photoshop fail. I assume sheeple believe its really her in the pics…

  33. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    OOps she did it again!

  34. Rancid

    With those thighs, if she sat on your face, you wouldn’t be able to hear your stereo.

    • I’d let her sit on my face everyday with those strong thighs.she could use them to hold me down while i licked and ate her hot,sweet &sweaty ASS.

  35. Nero

    Talking about a boner killer. I still got the teethprints as a proof.

  36. kboogie

    And Jessica Simpson wanted to be a brain surgeon!

  37. Greg Suarez


    *computer explodes into a heap of overloaded circuitry*


  38. dead peter

    “My mom said when you have a bad day, eat ice cream.” You’d think her thighs rubbing together would be a sufficient reminder to take her Celexa.

  39. She looks like she took the lamp from The Christmas Story, ate the lampshade and glued the leg part to her thigh.

  40. nads

    her knee is bigger than her face..

  41. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Khloe Kardasian here, aka Wilderbeast.

  42. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Like we need more pics of B. Spears’ crotch floating around the internet.

  43. Britney Spears
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Lawyer, huh? I’d let her sue the pants off me.

  44. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I miss Taylor Momsen.

  45. butterflybeyotch

    the best advice her mom EVER gave her was “eat ice cream” no wonder she married federline and went off the deep end. very sad!

  46. cc

    I wrung the crotch of those tights out and sprinkled it outside to scare away the raccoons.

  47. cc

    The picture is somewhat alluring until you realize she raised her leg like that just to unleash a voluminous fart.

  48. Ka

    I would love to move that G-string to the side if I didn’t believe it’d smell like an Arbey’s restuarant.

  49. Simole

    There’s so much photoshopping going on that she’s less real then Marge Simpson.

  50. Britney Spears
    kareem inher jar
    Commented on this photo:

    dk what anyone says…she looks really really hot…and i thank her for it.

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