Britney Spears appears in the newest issue of OUT where she answers a series of questions ranging from her favorite way to relax to the worst advice record producers ever gave her. I posted some choice answers below which I should point out were all answered over e-mail (Read: By a publicist.) and explains how Britney understood such concepts as reincarnation and more impressively, her own name:
Assuming reincarnation exists, in a previous life I think I was…
Audrey Hepburn, because she was a trend setter.
Assuming reincarnation exists, in my next life I’d life to be…
A bird, so I can fly.
My idea of hell is…
Being on a diet.
If you hadn’t become a superstar, what career do you think you would have chosen?
I was in seventh grade and it was career day and I remember thinking that I wanted to be an entertainment lawyer. I always knew I would be in this business somehow. I think this path worked out way better.
What is the best advice you’ve gotten and who was it from?
My mom said when you have a bad day, eat ice cream. That’s the best advice.
Lady Gaga is…
Unique.
Christina Aguilera is…
Truly talented.
Britney Spears is…
ME!
WHEEE!! *clap clap clap clap* (Sorry. Just trying to recreate the scene.)
Photos: OUT
Just think of the size of the prosciutto ham we could make out of that!
Think of the size of the one in my pants right now…nice gams, Brit! And could you hurry it up with the alimony – it’s already the 9th..
Yea, I’d like to get in between those big legs too.
I know she is a dirty piece of white trash that walks barefoot in public restrooms, but she looks very tempting in that first pic. I would take that leg and put it on my shoulder and work the hell out of that ass.
One thing’s for damn sure, I’d like to much more than just kiss her lily white southern ass.
My thoughts exactly. ~ugh~
You know, I’ve seen birds fighting over a spilled Frappuccino in a parking lot before, so that actually makes a lot of sense.
That was pithy and cute at the same time. Thank you.
Her Left High Heel: “Why does it smell like corn dogs down here?”
That is one disoriented heel..
She needs to move that right heel a little and plug her ass.
guessing she’s in OUT cos that’s what her fan base reads?
I thought that was obvious
Britney was 8 years old when Audrey Hepburn died. I don’t think she understands the concept of “reincarnation”.
I was doing the math the second I saw that quote…good catch!
Hey Brit’s publicist, couldn’t you find *someone* else? AH had beauty, grace, dignity, she was sophisticated, and then there’s Brit…
And the part about being a lawyer…whew.
We’re not *that* stupid.
Nice try, Lightdragon, but FAIL.
that wasn’t me swallowing vom.
i was elsewhere when this thread came up. was gonna do the math also.
Maybe she’s suggesting Audry Hepburn was a soulless husk for the last 8 years of her life? Kind of like how Hilary Clinton is now.
lmao
haha MS…
Not first
So I guess heaven is the 50 piece Chicken McNuggets at MacDonalds?
With the honey mustard sauce ya’ll!
.
“hold on i got a pube in my mouth..”
At least she’s correct in that her current career worked out better than he law career would have. I can’t imagine having to be the judge who would have had to explain that “passing the bar” didn’t mean “not getting drunk before court.”
well put :)
Didn’t recognize her without the food stains.
nothing says class like tattoos on your crotch
I have a tattoo on my crotch. It says ‘One Inch Punisher’.
enter the deep fryer.
it’s seen its share of french fries lol you can practically smell it
shit yes i wanna lick the grease off those pups..
Britney as an entertainment lawyer?
*speaking to jury* “Okay ya’ll, Miss Lohan totally didn’t steal that necklace ya’ll, she was just, ya know, borrowing it, ok ya’ll? Y’all look, there’s a birdie outside, aww shoot I always wanted to be a birdie!”
not so sure representing a celebrity in a criminal case is a entertainment lawyer. Funny that this is the connotation in today’s day and age.
That’s a nice Christian pose.
Pics are shopped to shit and back but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed.
Hmmm, I know where she wants my face now!!
hammina hammina hammina!
I’d totally do her…….
As long as there was a no-sleep-over, no-unecessary talking guarantee, so would I…
I strongly recommend running her through the car wash first.
Unless you actually prefer the heavy Cheeto powder residue.
same!! she looks hotttt
She’s so filth… God, Britney. Stop trying to be sexy. That went out the window years ago.
seriously. all the barefoot in gas station bathroom visits made me never able to see her as sexy again.
And her legs are stumpy and thick. Gross.
sad fact is even in black and white…you can tell they photoshopped the hell out of her. Her leg looks CGI
One in the stink and…one in the stink?
You’ve got to remember that she got into the music industry when she was like 10 years old.. She’s probably never even had to think about any other career or interests in her entire life.
As for that picture, her face looks painfully photoshopped.
Look at those legs…fish can ‘shop in Lincoln’s face for all I care!
Face looks photoshopped?
Her leg looks like a ostrich leg stuck on a chicken. Something is way off on the scale there.
Yes! FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!!!
For all the mocking, you have to her props for admitting that she would trade her children for a years worth of Quarter Pounders and McFlurrys. At least that’s how I read it.
Give her props, that is.
um….so this looks like borat in a banana hammock from the waste down.
She could pee on me. Wait… make that she SHOULD pee on me.
her butt looks like a hamburger made of play doh….
You are awesome!
I would eat that ass til it melted in my mouth.
I would eat that ass til it melted in my mouth.
God speed!
too late
Is it bad that I want to stick my penis in that?
So she said she might have been the reincarnation of Audrey hepburn. i think it would be more believable if she said she was the reincarnation of Keith Richards.
OUT has got the world’s worst Photoshopper on staff. It looks like they pasted her head on another body.
I guess Brit doesn’t realize that Audrey Hepburn died more than a decade AFTER she was born. I can only assume this means Britney did a satanic ritual at the age of 11 during which she consumed Hepburn’s soul (probably in milkshake form) in order to skyrocket into fame. WE’RE ON TO YOU BRITNEY!
haha!
I can only imagine the *queff* sound that resulted in her leg raise there.
It probably sounded like a fog horn.
omg that made me laugh
LOL
WTF there’s a missing part on her hips. too much photoshop
Haha! You’re right!
I agree…either they needed to do a lot of photoshop or who ever did it is terrible at it.
whats that nasty smell ?
She gave up on the law degree when she found out you can’t lip-sync in court.
Truly an idiot. The pictures are nasty, and Audrey Hepburn died in 1993…therefore if reincarnation did exist she could have never been Audrey, and what an unbelievable insult.
She said she wanted to be reincarnated as a bird you ignorant retard, learn to read before you post.
Definitely smuggling sausage. Or a Sausage McBiscuit.
as much as i love her signature look “stinky butthole”, this is very nice!
Groin tattoos. They never look good.
I think Audrey Hepburn would be mortified by any association with those thunder thighs.
thunder thighs? those are women’s thighs. maybe you’re not used to them because you’re too busy banging trannies.
now THAT’S “winning!”
poo poo pee pee.
She’s ripping a giant Taco bell fart in that picture, isn’t she?
Come on, cut her some slack. Someone goofed on her and told her “lawyer” is what they call professional ham-eaters.
I am jerking my gerkin like it is 1998.
I confess she is responsible for many stains on my sheets back then.
My friends bathroom wall still needs a new paint job.
The camel toe red pleather video. Give her some credit.
My arm is stronger than yesterday.
I do confess.
Hottest shot of her since the Esquire cover in ’04.
OH HONEY NO.
Ya right and i’m a FBI-agent who fell in love with the tap about a decade ago.
Damn Fish,
I really thought you were making up those responses – but then I clicked and actually read them in Out’s article. She is deep.
I’d hit it
Yeah… We’ve tried to fight her years. Using different advanced programs, changing hardware and so on. But somehow she did manage to sneak in all the time. After years we’d consider her now as a piece of furniture…
Correction it’s ‘for years’.
The good news is that she’s better than Norton an McAffee together.
We did show her continuously horrible photos and clips on purpose to chase her away. But it was like she was glued in place.