Britney Spears Needs to Stop Touring

June 17th, 2011 // 246 Comments

“Yup, she’s smuggling bacon again. Sonofabitch.”

Britney Spears launched her Femme Fatale tour in Sacramento last night, and I seriously don’t get how the state allows her parents to shove her onstage like this. How is this legal, but I can’t have a diner staffed entirely by people with Down’s Syndrome? (You bet your ass I was going to call it Corky’s Kitchen.) It’s bullshit, yet people somehow keep paying money to see a linebacker’s body crammed into skimpy outfits lazily perform basic choreography because she’s medicated into submission. If Britney’s mic actually worked, I guarantee all you’d hear is, “Pizzer Hut, Pizzer Hut, Daddy says do good and I get Pizzer Hut, Pizzer Hut.”

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. anonym

    holy shit.

    get a personal trainer. and put down the soft drinks.

  2. Britney Spears
    Big Ass Bunny Feet
    Commented on this photo:

    Great ass. Bad small outfit.

  3. Britney Spears
    Big Ass Bunny Feet
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks good.

  4. Britney Spears
    V
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not even funny anymore. I feel like we’re looking at someone with absolutely no choice at all but to be there. She’s not into it at all. And why are they dressing her like that? Her body needs a ton of work. If she’s going to be a “performer” she needs to not be so sloppy anymore, but she can’t help it. Like Fish said, she’s medicated into submission.

    This could be abuse and I’m not even kidding.

  5. Britney Spears
    V
    Commented on this photo:

    they could not even get her to train? forget the weight, how is she going to take months of touring without being fit? this is just embarrassing. there’s no way in hell I’d pay a buck for this show. she’s not even trying anymore.

  6. Pat C.

    They should just hire a Britney impersonator to do her show. I’m sure there are quite a few females (and maybe some guys) who can do her look of, say, 6 years ago, lip-sync to the same tracks, and do a better job of dancing.

  7. Britney Spears
    MissC
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else feel like the costume designer just went crazy with a bedazzler and then called it a day?

  8. Britney Spears
    MissC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Right heere’s whurr the babies used to get their nomnoms on!”

  9. Britney Spears
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh goodness…

  10. Britney Spears
    Brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I actually have the same body type as Britney Spears now. Which would have been great ten years ago.

  11. Britney Spears
    Woofus
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah those other shorts were awful these look much better

  12. Britney Spears
    Woofus
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so muscular, she’s not fat but there is definitely an extra 10 pounds on her frame-arms and back and belly. When you’re short it makes a big difference

  13. bejeeezus

    all you people saying britney’s not fat…ummm yea how can i put this delicately? SHE’S A FAT FUCKING TUB OF LARD and you probably are too, which is the only logical conclusion to your defense of this god-awful eyesore of a fat hot mess. britney needs to hire a personal trainer and layoff the mackie dees. either that or start fucking puking after those junk food binge sprees. she’s got no excuse to look like this. yuk. *shudders*

  14. fx35

    femme fatass

  15. Britney Spears
    Marco
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of an overstuffed kielbasa.

  16. Britney Spears
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Im from Louisiana, she is just your normal typical Louisiana gal, who has 2 kids and has some meat on her. Now, the fact that she happens to be famous and loaded….she should wear outfits on tour that are more slimming….she has def put on a few more pounds. This would be ok if she wasn’t famous and not dressing like this…but since she is famous and dressing like this, i think she needs to try harder to be more fit…til then get rid of those outfits with the muffin tops and the pooch hanging out.

  17. AleisterCrowley

    Everybody gives her grief but I like Britney alot.

  18. Britney Spears
    GG1000
    Commented on this photo:

    C’mon, female shotputters are hot!

  19. Britney Spears
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    DO NOT WANT

  20. Britney Spears
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay the other clothes must have just been very ill fitting because her stomach looks great here.

  21. Britney Spears
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    woahhhh wtf is going one her. Is there bare vagina?

  22. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor guy drew the short straw.

  23. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    And the first three rows just cleared out.

  24. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    From this angle it looks like a male stunt double.

  25. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    They should at least make it so the Depends don’t show through.

  26. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Dud is sayin’ “this is as close as I get for what they are paying me”.

  27. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    And from off stage a voice, “Britney! You forgot your pants again!”.

  28. Britney Spears
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I am new to this country. Who da hell is dis lady?

  29. tlmck

    Next stop, Dancing with the Stars.

  30. Dallas

    Hatin much?????? Haha N Britney is not fat idk what yall talkin bout… She’s lookin Gorgeous like always… :) love u Britney…. N the femme fatale is a must see…. Don’t believe everything u see on tv…LOL

  31. Britney Spears
    probono
    Commented on this photo:

    did she take her implants out?

  32. Britney Spears
    ahhemmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    FAAAAART!!!…Or queef?

  33. Britney Spears
    ahhemmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! Damn, making fun of Britney is so entertaining, I could do it all day, she’s such an easy target.

  34. Britney Spears
    ahhemmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    The next look she’ll be rockin’ is those new Huggies jeans diapers.

  35. Britney Spears
    ahhemmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ooooh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, that is what I truly wish to be.
    Cause if i were an Oscar Mayer weiner, everyone would be in love with me!”…Oh, and I could put chili,cheese,onions, cheetos, and grits on & eat myself! Yummmmers

  36. Britney Spears
    Jessesgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    eh, she could lose maybe 10lb of chunk but I think Brit looks ok here. Face it, she’s always been a thick girl except for that time when she was 19 and doing 200 crunches per day.

  37. Taichimaster

    In Dallas where everything is supersized, including the people, I supposed Britney could pass for somewhat chubby.

  38. Britney Spears
    Franklin vanden Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Think what a cow she’s going to be in 10 years. She will be permanently parked in the McDonald’s drive-thru.

  39. Britney Spears
    prettypants
    Commented on this photo:

    Pig in boots.

  40. Britney Spears
    prettypants
    Commented on this photo:

    When did backfat become the new black?
    Apparently it goes with everything now.

  41. Britney Spears
    prettypants
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel like someone should be following her with a tuba.

  42. Britney Spears
    prettypants
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s…right behind me, isn’t it?

  43. Britney Spears
    prettypants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll tell YOU when I’ve had enough!
    MELT THE FUCKING VELVEETA.

  44. Britney Spears
    crrys
    Commented on this photo:

    pretty!!!

  45. Dr.Rock

    That’s the body of someone on SSRI’s,

  46. Pen

    I came across this site by accident. Do any of you have lives that don’t revolve around critisizing someone else for pleasure? It’s quite sad that none of you seem to know any better. Hang in there, change is possible. Peace.

  47. Britney Spears
    Darth Raul
    Commented on this photo:

    Lets be honest,even in her “prime”she was never really that hot to begin with. You go to any mall in the Country and you will see about 100 chicks hotter than this broad,sipping on Orange Julius’………

  48. Britney Spears
    paul
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re all brainwashed into thinking skeletons are sexy. She looks more than fine.

  49. Britney Spears
    maria
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha noone commented this one bc she looks HOT

    Leave Brittany Alone

    she is the Princess of Pop

  50. Britney Spears
    maria
    Commented on this photo:

    sexy

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