Britney Spears Looks Normal, Aware of Her Surroundings. IT’S A TRAP!

Normally this is the part where I’d write an eerily accurate children’s story about Britney Spears’ dad exploiting her through the use of ice cream and tranquilizers, except Jesus Christ, she not only looks great but self-aware. If you asked her what day it is, she’d probably know it’s “T’ursday” which is literally the most generous thing I’ve ever said about Britney Spears in my life. It’s a miracle I didn’t fly out of my chair just typing that. “And now I’ll write that she knows what day of the week it- FUCKING SHIT!” *flies backwards as keyboard explodes*

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Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News