Back in March, Britney Spears told Out that she wanted to be a lawyer when she grows up, but those answers were provided via e-mail (Read: By a publicist.), so here she is doing a phone interview with Popjustice where she says she would’ve been a teacher if she didn’t become a popstar because she does such a good job raising her own kids. Somewhere, Kevin Federline almost put down a meatball sub and went, “The fuck?” but found himself tired and winded:
You’re kind of doing that anyway, if obviously in quite different circumstances… But what else would be different about your life, what else would you have done?
It would probably pretty much be the same because I’m very strong in the way I raise my kids and stuff, so it would probably be pretty much the same but career-wise I’d probably be a teacher. I love kids and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute.
Is that something you were thinking of doing when you were younger?
Yes. My mom was a teacher.
What would be your specialist subject?
I’d specialise in reading and history.
What’s your favourite historical period?
Which fits in quite well with the Art Deco styling of your current artwork.
I like how that interview would lead you to believe Britney Spears understands such concepts as decades, Art Deco and how to raise children because in the very next question she completely torpedoes that last one:
Would you let either of your kids become a popstar? Would the fact that you’ve been one yourself change how likely you’d be to say ‘yes that’s a great idea’ or ‘no that’s not such a good idea’?
I’d definitely keep an eye on them, but if that’s what they wanted to do then I’d let them go after it. I’d just be very protective.
Britney, you claim to love your children more than anything and want them to have the best possible life. Would you feed them into the popstar industry so they can eventually become helpless wards of the state shoved out onstage for your own financial benefit like you are today?
And that’s the story of how Kevin Federline has primary custody. The End.