Britney Spears Wanted To Be a Teacher

August 26th, 2011 // 86 Comments

Back in March, Britney Spears told Out that she wanted to be a lawyer when she grows up, but those answers were provided via e-mail (Read: By a publicist.), so here she is doing a phone interview with Popjustice where she says she would’ve been a teacher if she didn’t become a popstar because she does such a good job raising her own kids. Somewhere, Kevin Federline almost put down a meatball sub and went, “The fuck?” but found himself tired and winded:

You’re kind of doing that anyway, if obviously in quite different circumstances… But what else would be different about your life, what else would you have done?
It would probably pretty much be the same because I’m very strong in the way I raise my kids and stuff, so it would probably be pretty much the same but career-wise I’d probably be a teacher. I love kids and even in what I do now one of my favorite parts of my day is getting to meet my fans before the show. Especially the little ones. They are always so cute.
Is that something you were thinking of doing when you were younger?
Yes. My mom was a teacher.
What would be your specialist subject?
I’d specialise in reading and history.
What’s your favourite historical period?
The 1920s.
Which fits in quite well with the Art Deco styling of your current artwork.

I like how that interview would lead you to believe Britney Spears understands such concepts as decades, Art Deco and how to raise children because in the very next question she completely torpedoes that last one:

Would you let either of your kids become a popstar? Would the fact that you’ve been one yourself change how likely you’d be to say ‘yes that’s a great idea’ or ‘no that’s not such a good idea’?
I’d definitely keep an eye on them, but if that’s what they wanted to do then I’d let them go after it. I’d just be very protective.

Britney, you claim to love your children more than anything and want them to have the best possible life. Would you feed them into the popstar industry so they can eventually become helpless wards of the state shoved out onstage for your own financial benefit like you are today?

And that’s the story of how Kevin Federline has primary custody. The End.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. “I get to go to overseas places, like Canada.”
    — Britney Spears

    • Artofwar

      ….I’d never imagined coming to Special-Ed Britney Dink’s defense, but she was in Japan when she said that….Artofwar

  2. Britney Spears Teacher
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    nom nom nom

  3. Britney Spears Teacher
    The Everlasting Know-it-all
    Commented on this photo:

    A lot of shit always talked about Britney Spears, but damn that’s a nice view!

    • TomFrank

      A lot of shit always talked about Britney Spears, but her latest shit has some stunning news! We’re here live where the shit will be coming out shortly to share these revelations.

  4. Clarence Beeks

    Komodo, I was just about to write that!!!

    AND, saying Japan was in AFRICA.

    Ugh, her stumpy legs are so ugly to me. Bitch needs to wear pants, and STOP with those fucking ankle boots.

    • Facebook Me

      She has absolutely NO definition to her body. Two words. Personal trainer.

      • Clarence Beeks

        I disagree. I think she is very muscular in her legs. You want mush legs? Look at Rhianna. I actually think Brit looks great in knee high boots. Her thighs are toned and muscular, it’s those calves that ruin her legs for me. They are huge and long. Ankle boots are the absolute worst choice in footwear for people with that type of leg. They need something lengthens the leg, not chops it off!

        And in that pic with her stumps wrapped around Pauly D, her arms looked ripped. I was happy for her! They’d been looking pretty fleshy for a couple of years.

        She is still dumb as a stick. :)

  5. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Fish she’d just be left alone. She is kind and pretty. Stop fucking picking on her. Her kids are fine and cute. Nobody’s perfect.
    ps: she makes more than you do, too.

  6. Doc Schweinstrudel


  7. Doc Schweinstrudel

    And she actually looks like Marilyn Monroe in some of her pics to me

  8. Cya later

    When she said she wanted to be a teacher, what she meant was she wanted to teach all young girls how to be useless, talentless, slutty mental retards. You know, just like her…

  9. Venom

    What publicist wrote this pile of horseshit?

    And yeah, she is still most definitely quite bangable.

  10. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    ….Dude was told that if he didn’t do it, his whole family would be killed—so he wept, and went to it….Artofwar

  11. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor guy. He doesn’t know. It’s still 2002 in his world.

  12. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, if I was in the front row of this Britney ass-fest, I’d walk out too.

  13. Do Freebird

    Is that a bowl she’s sitting in front of? And if it is, is she trying to projectile piss into it?

  14. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when you might have been turned on by Britney bending over this far in an outfit this low-cut? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

  15. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who stole the rest of my trikey?”

  16. bravo51

    i would still f.uck her

  17. If you have sex with the teacher
    you’ll have a wonderful night.
    She’ll make you do it over and over
    until you get it right.

    Or, in this case, bring her something deep fried.

  18. Brooke

    I said this on another site, and I’ll say it again… it really concerns me that people take their “little ones” to a Britney Spears concert. She has the mental capacity of Elmo but the stage show is always a bit closer to Highway 60 strip joint than Sesame Street.

  19. Requirement #1: A recordable IQ.
    “Dear Ms. Spears,
    We thank you for your interest in the position of Kindergarten Teacher. Unfortunately, your application was rejected due to your failure to pass Requirement #1.”

  20. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Gad!!! The stench coming out of my monitor!!! It’s overpowering!!!

  21. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Fortunately, Tommy Chong was too stoned to understand where he was.

  22. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t know she needed a walker.

  23. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    …and the front rank died…

  24. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    I know my tits shrunk, but don’t worry! Now you can milk my calves!

  25. Cum on fellas!

    She is still absolutely fuckable. Sure, she is not the year 2000 Britney, but with regard to the issue of her being young and your being confused about all her lunatic phase, you should note that she is still pretty much okay.

  26. 111

    Uh, yeah. My first sex teacher. Which episode is starring britney?

  27. What a retard

    LEAVE SHITNEY ALONE! *cries like little girl*

  28. Larry of Poughkeepsie

    She’s becoming a pig, but I’d still gobble that used and abused vagina of hers. Her butt’s another matter, though. She’ll be wearing Depends soon because of all that rectal love-making with multi-ethnic penises.

    • the8inchdick

      Actually she only has intercourse with animals.. like rednecks.
      But i read somewhere her dad abused her back in the good ol’ days. So you probably wanna leave that “thing” she has in her crotch alone..unless u wanna get a bunch of sexual diseases yet undiscovered by science.

  29. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    does she EVER close her legs?? or are they stuck like that?

  30. Britney Spears Teacher
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s doable from this angle.

  31. Lucy

    She wanted to be a teacher but instead turned into a pig. Oh well, can’t have it all I guess.

  32. Renata

    close your fuckin ass suckers. shes the only queen of the world. LUV YA BRITNEY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Britney Spears Teacher
    Brandy Ruiz
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Britney you are the bomb! I love your outfit’s.. your voice is awesome! Lol Brandy ruiz

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