Britney Spears ‘Mentally Incapable’ of Testifying in Court

May 13th, 2011 // 41 Comments

And welcome to the exact moment she realized this wasn’t a McDonald’s and was tricked into dressin’ all fancy again.

Remember Sam Lutfi, Britney Spears former “manager” who consistently drugged her when he wasn’t threatening to piss on the graves of his enemies? Turns out his lawsuit against Britney and her parents is going forward after two years and he actually wants her to testify in a deposition. Britney’s parents have since responded that she’s “mentally incapable” prompting Sam’s lawyers to demand a psychiatric evaluation, according to Billboard:

“In the Ryan Seacrest interview, which was recorded approximately two months ago, Britney Spears is interviewed at length, and she responds logically and coherently to questions, evidencing logical thinking and mental competency. The edited interviews in the [MTV] video documentary also evidence coherent and logical thinking, responsiveness to questions, and mental competence … In my opinion, there is good cause to conduct an Independent Medical Examination to investigate the Conservators’ claim that Ms. Spears is not mentally capable of testifying, and the claim that she was not mentally competent to enter into a binding contract. …”

As much as I hate to defend this guy, Sam Lutfi actually has a point. Eventually Britney Spears’ parents either need to admit their daughter isn’t legally retarded or stop letting her do things like, oh I dunno, have shared custody of two small children and enter into a new legally binding marriage complete with intercourse. That said, how messed up would it be if this was all an elaborate ruse and Britney’s actually the smartest woman alive?

BODYGUARD: Need anything else, Britney?
BRITNEY: Nah, y’all, just gonna sit here with mah Barbies dreamin’ bout furnch fries and one day havin’ a pony I can ride to Taco Bell so y’alls don’t gots to put me in my car seat.
BODYGUARD: Alright, then. ‘Night. *leaves room*
BRITNEY: At last! *flips over desk to reveal lab equipment* Now, I can safely return to my AIDS research, for I am but a fortnight away from germinating a cure for mass-production. Just a few more clinical trials and then-
BODYGUARD: *walks back in* Whoops! Forgot my coat.
BRITNEY: This pencil tastes like bananners! Nom nom nom!

Photos: Getty


  1. she seemed retarded long before the binges, but if were her dad i’d see to it lufti has an accident soon

  2. “In opposition to the Plaintiff’s motion, counsel for the Defendant has provided evidence that Ms. Spears is mentally incapable of wearing pants.”


    There is a really fucking simple solution to this situation: Get Wikileaks to admit Osama Lufti is the next al-Quaeda #2. He’ll have a first-class ticket to Guantinamo Bay shoved up his ass faster than you can say “Gimme more.”

  4. MarkM

    She’s CLEARLY smarter than any of her fans who pay a $100.00 to watch her lip synch a few songs.

  5. Deacon Jones

    Well at least you gave us 14 differnet chances to look at a profile shot, FISH.

    That’ll make my Friday.

  6. fartbucket

    it’s not hard to SOUND logical and coherent when all you have to do is repeat a canned answer to a canned question.

  7. Bucky Barnes

    All Britney’s parents have to do demonstrate her level of (in)competency is submit a video of Britney attempting to put on and fasten a bra. (SPOILER ALERT!) It ends up stuffed in her vagina next to a shoe and a Tonka truck.

  8. I love this girl, she’s like the human ATM machine. You deposit sperm, and she disperses cash. She’s like the Rumpelstiltskin of jism.

  9. Laura

    She looks rough. Body’s looking better, but face/skin= bleh

  10. Skulf Uckler

    she needs to hire some new drywall guys. they did a terrible job spackling her forehead.

  11. Britney Spears
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I actually met Brit-Brit in the hotel pool after her concert. It got a little wild, but I had a friend snap a pic.

  12. PeaNUTTY

    You know I used to dislike her but it is mean to make fun of the disabled.

  13. DKNY

    She looks very leathery.

  14. Carla V.

    She’s mentally incapable of walking & snarfing down Cheetos at the same time, but meds & daddy’s cattle prod make that happen every day.

  15. Maeby

    Aren’t they just saying she’s mentally incapable because they want to keep making bank off her by way of conservatorship? If she’s mentally CAPABLE, they can’t keep control of her money and shit.

    • Lallie

      Were she capable, would she let them emberass her by calling her incapable, let them take her money, and make her do videos and music shows she’s clearly not even remotely interested in doing?

      Sounds like they’ve got it right.

      • The Listener

        Or maybe she’s just too tired of fighting with her family on whether she can take care of herself independent of them and has decided it’s just less stressful to do what she’s told even if she’s sad and depressed about her life.
        Never underestimate how a strong-willed parent can break the spirit of his/her offspring.

  16. TomFrank

    Why do I think Fish had this bit in mind when he thought up that smartest-woman-alive scenario?

  17. britfan

    I wonder why no one is talking about how her lethargic stage performances = high amounts of psychiatric drugs. Lithium, for example or similar.

  18. islam

    poor girl, i really feel bad for her.

  19. Fluffy eyebrows are fluffy.

    That’s my hyperintelligent contribution for the day.

  20. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Sam Lufti is a crazy mega douche… isn’t he responsible for all her nutcase behaviour?

  21. Clarence Beeks

    If she’s so mentally incapable, why are they pushing her to tour? All they care about is making money. I feel bad for Britney. One look at her dead eyes, and you know all she wants to do is hang out, and get fat.

  22. the captain

    you want to know the reason?
    …………HER EXTENSIONS, folks!!

    (they’re a curse)

  23. Lutfi.

    It’s Sam LuTFi, not LuFTi. And he can screw himself.

  24. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Did britney huff too much glue, or take some bad lsd that her brain cells have been rotted…? Or is it just plain typical crack ho brain rot?

  25. Britney Spears
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to use sunscreener but other than that she seems OK; I hope she has good lawyers looking out for her interests because her family seems quite suspect at times

  26. Jess

    Daaaaang, Brit needs to get out of the sun! Look at her skin! That’s a sign right there that she isn’t thinking right.

  27. No Kidding

    It’s the look in her eyes that says “nobody’s home”. Whoever was home at one time vacated that head years ago, never to return. Kinda spooky, and sad.

  28. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    GEGE Needs to start getting some backbone and tell Olivia off The one with dark hair thinks she is better then everyone else coming up with birdbrain Ideas.. And ideas like she is the only make up artist ,,,, And she needs to get rid of her boyfriend he thinks he’s gods give to woman? if i opened him up as a gift i would donate him to goodwill, he’s a about as smart as his Dad,, now his Mom is cool. and i guess the smokey eyes has to be a Jersey thing cuz i think it makes a Girl look like a Hooker,,,,Just my opinion,,,

  29. the only opinion that matters

    I love the little plays you write,”furnch fries” made me laugh ass off!

  30. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    …and now the English language posts are free to appear:

  31. Dear Britney

    It’s called a chemical peel!

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