Britney Spears Didn’t ‘Clap Back’ At Katy Perry, Knock It Off

While walking the Grammys red carpet on Sunday night, Katy Perry made a joke about Britney Spears – twice – that managed to clutch every single pearl on the internet. As it maybe should have. I’m just some asshole. ET Online reports:

ET spoke with the 32-year-old singer on the GRAMMYs red carpet ahead of her performance, when Perry talked about her new blonde ‘do and appeared to throw a little shade at Spears in the process.
“I was just telling you that it’s like, the last color in the spectrum that I can do,” Perry told ET’s Nancy O’Dell and Kevin Frazier. “I’ve done all of them and the only thing left to do is shave my head, which I’m really saving for a public breakdown. I’m down for that.”
The “Chained to the Rhythm” singer also made a similar joke when talking to Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet about taking a break from music, prior to the release of her catchy new single.
“It’s called taking care of your mental health,” she explained, adding, “I haven’t shaved my head yet.”

Since then, there have been a series of articles about Britney Spears “clapping back” on Instagram, and c’mon. First off, if Britney was actually allowed to post on social media instead of an intern, it’d be 50,000 tweets about an Oreo that looks like a duck. Second, here’s everything that’s been on Britney’s Instagram since the Grammys: A bikini photo with a generic caption that was probably scheduled four months ago, a video where she pretends she can read, a repost of a Bible verse, and a deliberate plug for Airbnb.

Granted, the Bible verse might be about Katy Perry, but again, it was almost definitely posted by a publicist because there’s no way in hell Britney Spears is aware of any of this. She could’ve been standing in the same room, heard the words “shaved head” while Katy Perry pointed directly at her, and Britney still would’ve laughed because fingers remind her of “pink Furnch fries.”

My point is Britney Spears’ dad took out the part of her brain where those memories were stored so he can keep umbrellas in the house without everyone losing a goddamn eye, and I should’ve just said that from the start. I love words!

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