Britney Spears Is Getting Engaged. For Real This Time. Maybe. (Confirmed)
“Y’all, this here’s a song about my gold bergina. A one, two, free!”
Britney Spears and Jason Trawick have been the source of engagement rumors since 2009 when her dad realized letting her agent have sex with her was probably a safer bet than banging members of the paparazzi in Mexico. At any rate, apparently they’re really going to get engaged this time, so just assume the paperwork to marry a legally retarded person takes goddamn forever in California. TMZ reports:
Multiple sources who are definitely in the know say Jason’s plans to pop the question tonight … in Las Vegas.
We’re told Britney knows they’re getting engaged, so it’s not going to be a big surprise.
Sources say Britney’s conservators have given their stamp of approval. The matter will go before the judge in the conservatorship case but it’s virtually certain Brit will get the judge’s sign off.
Here’s what’s fucked up about all this: Barely six months ago, Britney Spears’ dad successfully argued she lacks the mental capacity to testify in court yet he’s going to sign off on her getting married because that’s way less complicated than saying words about things that happened to you? “All she’s gotta do is make a few beds. I reckon some sheets’ll get eaten in the process, but the important thing is, Jason traded me these goats and I’m a man of my word.”
UPDATE: So either Jason already proposed to Britney last night or invented chocolate chicken. You can honestly read this either way.
UPDATE: And it’s official, but take comfort knowing Britney was hoping it was chocolate chicken, too.