Britney Spears is Dancing Again

March 28th, 2011 // 103 Comments

Presumably because Kevin Federline has another mouth to feed, Britney Spears gave two “surprise performances” in San Francisco and Vegas this weekend even though any stage show where she doesn’t magically produce a Chalupa from her leotard constitutes a surprise for me. That said, anyone who wants to say Britney’s shows don’t inspire deep, emotional soul-searching, needs to take a look at this dancer’s face because never before has a gay man so feverishly wished his parents beat him with a belt and shipped him off to a Christian re-education camp instead of lovingly accepting him and encouraging his dreams. “I could’ve been one of those overweight white guys who tucks his polo shirt into his shorts and compensates for a small penis with detailed fantasies of shooting a home intruder with my questionably large gun collection. Goddammit, mom and dad…”

Photos: Fame, Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Casey

    She doesn’t look as bad as I expected. Excuse me while I go re-evaluate my life…

    • DKNY

      No, you’re right, she doesn’t look half bad in some of these.

      I do, however, miss this hottie http://goo.gl/rAJuF or this hottie http://goo.gl/f49Hv though. How do we get her back?

      • Long John Silver crunchies

        Well you’ll have to hop in the delorean and ask doc to send you back to a time before Britney harbored 2 other people between her hips..I mean her kids not all the dudes she’s fucked. Anyway yeah. Holding a baby in there for 9 months is going to do SOME damage..but not enough to make her clean up impossible. Has anyone else noticed that her hair has looked like a dog shit mess of bad weaves since she shaved it off? Ew.

  2. First

    First

  3. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    GenrealEmergency
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick BillyJo!

    Throw that big ‘ol switch on the wall there ‘for the Warden gets back ‘ta free her!

  4. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    GeneralEmergency
    Commented on this photo:

    Effin Postal Service…

    …Left -ANOTHER- tramptard on my porch again.

  5. GeneralEmergency

    You might want to wait a bit Casey before checking into that monastery.

    Look closer at the red ribbon lacing on that outfit.

    I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s really Red Vines licorice!

  6. frankw

    People can talk all the crap about this chick they want. But Britney cleans up REAL GOOD…

    • Kate

      I agree…she does look older than when she was THE pop star but she that was like a decade ago (?). The authentic Britney is still in there, bubbling under the surface :)

    • shankyouverymuch

      Yeah I agree too, she’s always given me major WOOD – I’d love nothing more then to slip-n-slide in & out of ever one of Brit-Brit’s holes for an entire weekend!

      She’s just hot, period~

    • bradspithair

      You have very low standards and you need to stay away from the elderly as well. If you’re not ghey, who would pay to see this fat hag flop around her nasty thunder thighs and cottage cheese (cheetos) ass. Im hungry for cheetos.

  7. truth

    That neck scores a touchdown!

  8. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Intifada
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty much a porker compared to her earlier years. Sucks getting old.

  9. Kameron.G

    I think she looks fantastic, honestly. But to be fair and play the frappucino’s advocate, her corset is pretty much a gigantic angry frowny-face.

  10. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    FIRST_BIEETTTCHEESSS
    Commented on this photo:

    FIRSSTTTTT!

  11. Dan

    Was she dancing or storming her way to the open buffet?

  12. YOuknow

    Nice ass

  13. Cody

    Not too bad. I’d put it in her dumper.

  14. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    …. and to think people said that is wasn’t possible to choreography Monty Python’s “Sit On My Face”.

  15. captain america

    but decent behaviour is OUT of the question, folks!!

  16. The Critical Crassness

    Say what you want about Britney….she still looks a whole lot better than the artist formerly known as Xtina. Funny, Brit has two kids and Christina only has one but Christina looks a whole lot worse for the wear than Britney does.

    • Cornelius37

      in fairness Christina married and had a child with a jewbe Britney only pretends to be with the Savior of her career who just so happens to be jewish… they started dating down at the evil antisemitic menace mel gibsons house in costa rica.. oh wai,t I remember one publication was willing to go as far to insist that they started dating from the time of her devoice on but that was actually Jewfed which everyone has oh so conveniently forgotten about… love how a special about her meltdown skipped right over him from hangin with lindsay and paris to well, right after he (Jewfed) broke it off with her.. yet they included the passing out at clubs after 2 Mimosa…

  17. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Two words for ya:
    Ham Hock

  18. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Still completely dead in the eyes. Vacancy. No one’s home.

  19. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I have in mind the old Underalls commercials?

  20. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “And here we have Formerly Hot Dancing Famewhore! She sings, she eats, she’s unsafe for children, but she can be yours for 2 easy payments of $19.95! Buy yours today!”
    “And remember: If you can’t trust me, you can’t trust my mustache.”
    *wink*

  21. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Average Woman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sooo, this one’s in the pink, but there’s ‘sposed to be two of them, and the little dangly one’s in the stink? Am I getting this right?”

  22. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    screamobaby
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks pretty good!

  23. Matcher

    She could pee on me… while she lip syncs.

  24. anon

    this girl is so confusing. one day she’s ugly the next she’s hot. love it.

  25. Anonymous

    She no longer has the body to pull off wearing that outfit. Cover it up. NOT attractive.

  26. obregon

    I see she’s started carrying extra sacks of Starbuck’s frappuccino flavoring around in her buttocks.

  27. brit’s lookin more and more like liza minnelli

    • LJ

      Nailed it!!!

      • bradspithair

        Liza never tried to be something she’s not. This fat pig needs to not dress like she’s a size 1, when all her lard alone would add up to a size 1 and have some left over.
        Sloppy and disgusting and embarrassing. This chic is as anti-boner as it gets.

  28. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Ecgeiger
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fallen so low in the public’s eyes that I’ve officially decided to become a fan. what other underdog has an ass like that?

  29. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    castallare
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh gimme a break; for a woman with two children, two ex husbands, a public stint going batshitcrazypants and a sponsorship from Starbucks, whose father has to live with her to make sure she bathes everyday, she looks just amazing.

  30. you go girl. that’s right Victoria orince you go with being pregnant .What!!!! that’s Britney Spears. …..Never mind.

  31. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly he’s tucking her muffin top back into her industrial-strength girdle.

  32. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney! you’re not supposed to take a dump in there. we have toliets you idiot!

  33. This picture has helped me finally find the woman’s clitoris. Apparently it’s in their left armpit.

  34. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    What What In The Butt – The Remix

  35. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Ms Murphy
    Commented on this photo:

    This is so gross!
    I just can’t believe that people still pays to watch her on stage:S

  36. JC

    She looks a’ight, but the true terror lies in the fact that she refuses to move on. She’s going to be shoehorning her ass into ever-larger corsets well into her 40s, still clinging to the delusion that she’s an 18-year-old sexpot. And there will be tears. And vomiting.

    • Jim

      “terror”??? That behavior is exactly how we want it.

      • JC

        It’s a matter of personal preference, I suppose. If I had my pick of Crazy Britney Stories of the Future, I’d rather see her more head-shaving and going after a minivan with an umbrella than Jabba the Hut in a bedazzled naugahyde catsuit singing “Oops I Did It Again.”

      • bradspithair

        Hey now, dont insult my boy Jabba. However, my eyes just dont like to see this fuckery anymore, and im surely certain Jabba’s private parts look like Rosie Huntington compared to this slop.

  37. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Ms Murphy
    Commented on this photo:

    the beast and…. the beast… I mean the beauty hahahahaaha not…really!!! Both look terrible

  38. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    bb
    Commented on this photo:

    this is wrong

  39. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Splot
    Commented on this photo:

    Pic 5 :

    Best blow up doll ever !

  40. steve

    I’d bone that big-butt retard.

  41. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    “Could you give me a boost? I dropped my Starbucks behind this thing.”

  42. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    BrukOut
    Commented on this photo:

    wow…she looks. good

  43. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    BrukOut
    Commented on this photo:

    her arms look good. they got her hair did in time

  44. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    Every black man everywhere just got wood

  45. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Stank
    Commented on this photo:

    No they didn’t. Just trust me on this one.

  46. slappy magoo

    What’choo mean ah’m suhpozed to throw mah pahpcone at the screen, ‘n not eat it? This Rocky Whore Pitcher Show is Wack, y’all!

  47. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You know a woman’s pop career might be in trouble when the first words that come to mind when a person sees her in costume are:
    Thick
    Powerful
    &
    Bulging

  48. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Always keep the hair down to disguise the linebacker neck.

  49. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I see GMA offered the viewing public some damned good comedy skits while they had Brit Brit as a guest.

  50. Britney Spears Free Concert San Francisco Vegas
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    TWO frappuccinos, not one! This is thirsty work!

Leave A Comment