Bertney And The Moobie Party

March 4th, 2014 // 20 Comments

Bertney And The Moobie Party
A Word-Hero Super Tale!

Bertney loved moobies. They were always such a fun way to past the time while at home or riding in the car. Especially with Furnch fries! Her favorites have talking animals in them, silly puppets, and sometimes her old friends from being a Mouseketeer.
“Ryan Goose’s car go vroom vroom!” Bertney can often be heard giggling while taking long trips to the grocery store.
Which is why tonight was a special night because Bertney gets to go to a moobie party with Mr. David and wear a fancy dress. Bertney loved wearing fancy dresses. It was the only time Papa didn’t make her wear a bra. Bra’s made Bertney very sad.
While the makeup people made Bertney look purty and gave her special pills so she won’t talk funny, or even much at all, Bertney thought about a different kind of moobie she saw once. She found it in Papa’s closet with his old stuff from Leezyanna. Bertney missed Leezyanna and talkin’ to the gators in the swamp, so she was hoping this would be a moobie about her old friends, Mr. ChompChomp and Toofyniggins.

When Bertney pushed play, she saw five men in silly animal masks, so right away she knew she was going to like this moobie a lot. Bertney watched as they played with a little girl inside a candle circle and gave her a special hat made of antennalers. Then they all did a silly dance on top of her. It was the goofiest thing Bertney had ever seen! She wished she had animal friends to do silly dances with her.
Later that night, she asked Papa about the moobie, and he must’ve remembered how silly it was because he started acting very, very goofy himself. So goofy that he took off his face and looked like a giant squidderpus!
“Berbley Blean,” Papa said. “Blue have bloken the blin blemblane blebleen blis blorld and the blarkness! BLEBARE BLOR BLEALITY TO BLUMBLE AND BLAOS TO BLULE BLABLOSS BLIS BLEALM!”
Bertney had no idea what in the world Papa was talking about, and she couldn’t help but giggle. His tentacles moved with every word!
“Bline,” Papa said. “Bly blan blee blore blot blissebing. Blue blunts blice bream?”
Bertney understood that part!
“Me me me,” she squealed. “I do, I do, I do!”
And so Papa put on his people face, and together they walked down the street to get sugar cones.

The End.

Need Something For The Young Reader In Your Family? Try Bertney Stories Today!

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

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  1. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank god…she looks decent for once. However, this photo will be undone by photos of her in Los Feliz, wearing sweatpants, and tank top with noticeably saggy tay-tays nipples.

  2. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The face you make when you’ve been sucking your gut in hard for 15 minutes.

  3. When I read “moobie” I thought I was going to see Simon Cowell.

  4. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Rubick's Doob
    Commented on this photo:

    Papa should teach her to spit out the gum, just like she does with his “spurm”.

  5. JC

    I’m now imaging Rust Cohle questioning Bertney. And I’m enjoying it. TD Season 2?

  6. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    nomnommynom
    Commented on this photo:

    Best picture of her in YEARS.

  7. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks drugged out of her mind.

  8. Inner Retard

    Moobies. Sounds like boobies. Like those too.

  9. AC

    TOOFYNIGGINS.

  10. Vinnie

    “…Bertney watched as they played with a little girl inside a candle circle and gave her a special hat made of antennalers. Then they all did a silly dance on top of her”

    So her dad is into Scientology like TommyGirl.

  11. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks healthy and happy…..good for her

  12. gina

    I really don’t like the nose job. She shouldn’t have touched her face.

  13. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel bad for her…what happened

  14. These will never get old. You are a wizard literati.

  15. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    tk
    Commented on this photo:

    I love Britney and I loves those boobs. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to those boobs or her.

  16. Beer for thought

    she always looks uncomfortable at events, look at they way shes standing and her expression, she looks tense to me, like shes anxious, not like shes on drugs, the drugs she would be taking would be to counter-act that kind of thing to make her more calm, no?

  17. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Raquel..?

  18. Britney Spears Cleavage See Throug Dress Crazy Faces 22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still like to tongue and pound her asshole just for old times’ sake.

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