With Jason Trawick out of the way, Britney Spears‘ dad finally had a chance to look like he doesn’t lease out his daughter like a French fry-injected Lexus. Unfortunately, that left him in the pickle of finding someone to babysit her, so enter “Dave,” the newest suitor who should probably start reading the first title in his training packet, “So Now People Think You Bang Retards.” TMZ reports:
We now know the identity of the mystery man who took Britney Spears out for a Valentine’s Day dinner and played golf with her over the weekend. He is … a very normal guy.
His name is David. He works for a law firm — he’s not a lawyer — does “field research” … kind of a jack-of-all-trades. He’s definitely not a wealthy guy.
“So there I was on the 16th hole, when out of the sand trap comes this disheveled woman, brandishing a bag of chicken wings from the club house. And I’ll never forget what she said to me. She said, ‘Why y’all use them big spoons to hit them eggs?’ We’ve been together ever since. Remember that day, honey?”
“Why ah I gotta show you mah hootadilly ‘fore we can go to McDonald’s?”