Britney Spears Meets Men At The Golf Course? Sounds Credible

February 20th, 2013 // 15 Comments
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With Jason Trawick out of the way, Britney Spears‘ dad finally had a chance to look like he doesn’t lease out his daughter like a French fry-injected Lexus. Unfortunately, that left him in the pickle of finding someone to babysit her, so enter “Dave,” the newest suitor who should probably start reading the first title in his training packet, “So Now People Think You Bang Retards.” TMZ reports:

We now know the identity of the mystery man who took Britney Spears out for a Valentine’s Day dinner and played golf with her over the weekend. He is … a very normal guy.
His name is David. He works for a law firm — he’s not a lawyer — does “field research” … kind of a jack-of-all-trades. He’s definitely not a wealthy guy.

“So there I was on the 16th hole, when out of the sand trap comes this disheveled woman, brandishing a bag of chicken wings from the club house. And I’ll never forget what she said to me. She said, ‘Why y’all use them big spoons to hit them eggs?’ We’ve been together ever since. Remember that day, honey?”
“Why ah I gotta show you mah hootadilly ‘fore we can go to McDonald’s?”
“Ahaha!”

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    No one tells Britney Spears you can’t bedazzle a coat!

  2. JC

    Is “field research” just a euphemism for “enforcer for a mobbed-up law firm”?

  3. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Tic-Tacs chug-a-lugged.

  4. Britney Spears
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yer so funny in that there ‘Knocked Up’ movie!”

  5. Britney Spears
    reinhard heidrich
    Commented on this photo:

    mein fuhrer, two more for the “research”

  6. “Hey Adele! Wow, Quicktrim works fast!”

  7. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, I meant that comment for here:

    “Hey Adele! Wow, Quicktrim works fast!”

  8. Britney Spears
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Tic-tac – Britney’s birth control. It’s worked so far. XD

  9. Why do I keep imagining her as a chain smoker sitting at the bar of the local blowing alley.

  10. the lucky bastard probly ate her asshole too…

  11. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanna try again….

    Adele’s Tic-Tac diet has worked great for her.

    (I just really think Brit looks like Adele here).

  12. sobrietyisacrutch

    Great. Now I’m jonesing for an egg mcmuffin. Thanks a lot, Fish.

  13. Burt

    Good for her. She needs a regular guy.

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