Britney Spears’ Dad Is Ending Her Conservatorship As A ‘Wedding Gift’

“Daddy, it’s just what I always wanted! (What’s a consvadership?)”

Realizing that it looks like he essentially sold a retarded mule to stud, Jamie Spears has decided to end Britney Spears’s conservatorship so her marriage to Jason Trawick looks like it was her own idea even though she’s proposed to no less than five separate fast food items in the past month. The Daily Mail reports:

Her father is reportedly demanding a judge rescind on the order to mark the pop star’s complete turnaround.
A source tells the Sunday Express: ‘Jamie wants to go to court in early February so Britney will be a free woman in every sense when she marries.’
And he’s hoping the order will be dropped in time for her nuptials, which are reportedly due to take place on Valentine’s Day on the Hawaiian island of Maui.

So after spending the past three years pumping her full of enough medication to keep her jiggling across the globe so everyone stays rich, there comes a time in every father’s life when he has to let his little girl go for the second time – Third, if you count that Vegas business. – and trust the man she’s going to marry to continue pumping her full of those pills in between all the sex she lacks the wherewithal to say no to. Take it away, Bob.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News