‘I Brought Mah Bertney Boobs. Cheese!’

June 28th, 2012 // 50 Comments
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Apparently Britney Spears was way more cooperative in the make-up chair than whatever the hell happened in Oakland, because here she is looking remarkably good yesterday which could just be my reaction to seeing her actually look cognizant of her surroundings. This is all very new to me. Not one of these pics looks like her dad’s standing off-camera dangling a T-bone and a whip yelling, “Smile! Smile, mule! Smile for the camera! HYAH!” My whole world is upside down.

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    I dont know what’s worse.

    The fact that all the girls I used to lust after as a teenager are now to the point where they have to wear these spanx dresses so they are not spilling out all over the place, or

    the fact that I get anxious if I dont have my morning bowel movement.

  2. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    When Jennifer Love Hewitt can carry off a bandage dress better than you…..

    Britney is really declining fast.

    • Endo

      JLH and Britney are sexier than any chick you’ll get in your lifetime (assuming you even like chicks). And both looked pretty effin bangable in the bandage dress. I’ll take either one in a heartbeat.

      • vgrly

        Actually I’m a Hetero-female. Hence the name v-grl-y. Just breaking it down for you. I would rate Jennifer as a 6 and britney as a 4. Considering her age and access to a bunch of money I would think she could upkeep her figure and appearance a bit more. But I guess you can’t fight genetics unless you go under the knife. With that being said I have 3 years on Britney and she makes me feel good about myself really good.

      • guest

        A hetero female rating another girl’s sexiness is meaningless and is often based on jealousy. And I’m willing to bet you’re not even a 4 compared to JLH or Britney.

      • kimmykimkim

        Vgrly, stupid men be hatin cuz they can’t even pay a broke ass hooker for sex. Oh and mr. guest, hetero females constantly rate each other. Constantly.

      • guest

        Actually it’s the jealous twats that be hatin. Some gaywads in there too. It’s pretty much those two groups.

  3. Cock Dr

    Her husband told her that she couldn’t have any smokes or Starbucks until she took her meds, squeezed into the bandage dress, and went out and acted nice for the fans.
    It’s all about the proper incentives.
    Looking …..less worse than before. Having the sun to her back certainly helps.

  4. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Carson
    Commented on this photo:

    The face may have aged but the body is still sexy as hell.

  5. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Pamela Anderson.

  6. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Urvag
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to see Britney and Miley in a battle of the rednecks.

  7. i would love to be her human bidet…

  8. Helmut Von Trapp

    Looks fuckable now , but I am looking for the Cheetos kernels that fell down into her dress.

  9. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Its Me
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this girl :-*

  10. Jack Ketch

    You can really tell that she is SO medicated. For the rest of her life, or what ?

  11. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Lord Invader
    Commented on this photo:

    Saying “Nice pythons” to Britney Spears sadly doesn’t mean what it used to.

  12. Devilish Diva

    With all her money and fame, this woman who’s still young doesn’t manage to look more than a regular soccer mom in her 40s who cleans up nice.

  13. I just don’t see the problem. I think Britney looks great. Nowhere as good as she did several years back, but fine and dandy for a 30 year old mom of two. Perhaps at my age I’ve seen more women who haven’t aged well…

  14. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Commented on this photo:

    She cleans up nice when she actually makes an effort.

  15. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    Will always have a soft spot for this trainwreck.

  16. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    GuestyLaRue
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what I will say about The Bertney these days…you have to at least give her props for not slicing up, injecting, or otherwise altering her body the way that say, Lindsay Lohan or Christina Aguilera have done. Her boobs are sagging, she has sun damaged skin, wrinkles under her eyes and around her mouth, and yeah a bit more weight than she used to carry – it’s just weird to see a celebrity look NORMAL because normally they go to horrible lengths to change all of those things and while they don’t look as old maybe, they still end up looking like freaks. So I say YAY for Bertney! Not gonna defend her clothing and hairstyle choices though, there is no good reason why her team lets her look trashy at events where she is basically just being paid to show up and look hot.

    • You do know that she got implants when she was a teenager, right? Basically, you’re applauding her for altering her body to become famous rather than for doing so later in life to hold on to her youthful looks. I don’t know that that’s in any way admirable on her part.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      It’s probably not legal for a surgeon to perform plastic surgery on someone who is confined to a padded cell most of the time.
      Or she would.

  17. Yummy. And when you have her talkin’ rednek, it just gets better.

  18. EricLr

    Looks like they finally figured out you can get her to sit down and stay put if you give her a bucket of KFC with a really complicated lid.

  19. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Commented on this photo:

    There reaches a point where those elastic bandages look less “fashionable” and more “load bearing”. That point was 30 lbs ago.

  20. R.

    She looks weird in the bandage dress, because she’s wearing spanx underneath them..

  21. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    maybe
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the sane one compared to the others in the picture! That’s a first!

  22. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    mim
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl in the back, lose the top siders. Looks dorky!

  23. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    mim
    Commented on this photo:

    Britney and her open wide mouth posse

  24. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    some people are stupid
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so old

  25. crusher

    wa………I like

  26. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks adorable!!!

  27. Dr. Ike

    She’s not as hot as she used to be but I’d still gladly eat her butthole and bang her silly.

  28. dave

    Say whatever you want. This chick is hotter than hell.

  29. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    msw
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks very pretty. Her eyes are still very sad, though.

  30. JR

    Britney still looks great. I wish I could get up inside her butt. Her butt has always been fantastic.

  31. Britney Spears Cleavage Spandex Dress X Factor Auditions
    Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Use ‘zoom’ on her boobs. I’ve never seen so many spots.

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