Britney Spears Went To The Teen Choice Awards

Here’s Britney Spears at the Teen Choice Awards last night where the Internet wants me to believe she’s never looked hotter, but as a trained Bertney scholar who knows she’s trapped in a lifelong conservatorship that rakes in $14 million a year and therefore can never escape, this is all I saw:

Britney Spears Teen Choice Awards

“She knows this isn’t McDonald’s. MOVE MOVE MOVE!”

 

Britney Spears Teen Choice Awards

“I’M SO HAPPY WHEN I HAVE MED’CINE!”

 

Britney Spears Teen Choice Awards

“Surfboard make fiiirrrre.”

 

Britney Spears Teen Choice Awards

“Please… kill me, y’all…”

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Photos: Getty