Bristol Palin is Accusing Levi Johnston of Rape

June 20th, 2011 // 158 Comments

Excerpts from Bristol Palin‘s memoirs have been released and surprisingly very little people are concerned with the fact that a.) someone published Bristol Palin’s memoirs and b.) she pretty much accuses Levi Johnston of raping her virginity away because that’s the only way a good, Christian-raised girl would have sex out of wedlock. Us Magazine reports:

In her new autobiography, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, the 20-year-old single mom reveals that, while drunk for the very first time, she lost her virginity to Levi Johnston during a camping trip.
Palin says she woke up alone in her tent, with no recollection as to what happened. Johnston, meanwhile, “talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.”
When she confronted him about their sexual encounter, Johnston, now 21, told Palin what she wanted to hear: they wouldn’t have sex again until they were married.
But, Palin writes, they became intimate again shortly after.

Guess he was good at it.

Granted, Bristol Palin’s mom wrote a book comprised entirely of easily-refuted bullshit anecdotes and made millions of dollars off of it, when you claim someone had sex with you without your knowledge while you’re passed out drunk, that’s called rape. Or more importantly in this case, libel. Because, seriously, if Levi Johnston actually did rape Bristol in a tent, Sarah Palin is notoriously vindictive and likes to shoot things from helicopters. My thoughts on her politics aside, I’m pretty sure Mama Grizzly would’ve buried this kid under a glacier before she let people think Alaska isn’t Deadwood with snow.

Photos: Getty


  1. Bob

    Maybe I am missing it. Sounds like she was drunk and had sex. Not the way she planned, but also doesn’t say it wasn’t consensual. From the excerpt she never said rape. It looks like GW may have puts words in her mouth, but I haven’t read the book either.

  2. tubs

    She got raped so she immediately wanted to get married to the guy? Yeah sounds legit.

  3. blahblahblah

    It’s really weird. It’s like half of her face just magically disapp….Oh…Right.


    I just love liberal men! You are so weak and worthless and meaningless and pointless! You joke about child sexual abuse and rape and butt-fucking (you all seem VERY preoccupied with that one LOL. Barney Frank is The Man, yes?), yet VERY indignant about women (and children!) who claim to have lost their virginity while drunk and have no memory of consenting to it, which tells me that’s the only way you can get it. Or used to get it. I mean, let’s face up to who I’m talking to here. Hairy old nobodies who spend their empty days surfing the net for porn (all kinds. You libs are VERY tolerant when it comes to diversity, aren’t you?) with one bottle of Viagra and one bottle Prozac nearby (paid for by those who pay taxes, no doubt. Just like your computer). Tell me something. In your past parasitic — oops! I mean, sexual — encounters, how many females (of whatever age) accused you of rape? How many actually came? You know, climaxed? I have a tiny inkling the answer to both questions is none. How many did you kick to the abortion clinic curb? I know abortion is THE major problem you have with conservative women.

    You poor victims! You have no balls and then someone like Sarah Palin comes along with more balls than most men right or left put together and just like a typical lefty you think she took them from you, all while being as feminine as a woman can be. But I must admit you losers aren’t as bad as the “feminists”. The lefties throw them the abortion bone and then tell them to go sit in the corner. They are, however, allowed out of their cages to scream the words “whore” and “cunt” when a conservative woman runs for public office, LOL. But my God! what would you lib men ever do without abortion? You’d have to give up the bottle of tax-payer funded Viagra and get an extra bottle of tax-payer funded Xanax! Shiver.

  5. Tara

    She can accuse him of rape the first time, but what about the second, third, and billionth time???

  6. Bristol Palin
    Jerky McPumpoff
    Commented on this photo:

    who am i kidding, i’d fuck her.

  7. mightycheese

    Her face is making sweet baby Jesus cry.

  8. NightmareCentral

    This country is doomed.

  9. hfn

    These Palins always blame other people for their stupidity. Smart grifters,knowing how to con their groopies for money that let these wassilly hillbillies live a life of luxury. Wait until tuesday, the media will be all over Palin as she makes her way to Iowa. At least she was decent enough to let crazy Bachmann do her thingy.

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