Bristol Palin Is Pissed High School Girls Aren’t Getting Pregnant

“Why you not pregnant, teen?”
*looks up from phone* “Babies, yo.”

Former teen mom Bristol Palin is currently pregnant with the child of a man who wasn’t her combat veteran fiance that she basically left at the altar, so right off the bat, this is the exact person you want to listen to when it comes to sex and contraception. Her uterus game is on point. Via Patheos:

Do you remember what it was like to be a 10 year old? I remember being an unabashed tomboy concerned with playing outside and acing 5th grade.
But life isn’t so innocent and carefree for some 10 years old in Washington State. This summer a report came out claiming that some schools in Washington were giving free birth control implants to children as young as 10 years old! These birth control devices are implanted in a girl’s uterus, and all of this can be done without a parent’s consent!

Whoa, whoa, Jesus, whoa. Okay, first off, no, the state of Washington isn’t running around just jamming IUDs into 10-year-olds without their parent’s consent in the middle of a hopscotch game. That shit was disproved over five months ago. Via Jezebel:

That is a rather aggressive misreading of an innovative program at Chief Sealth International High School, which gives students access to free and confidential birth control counseling, and yes, IUD insertion, if that’s the method they choose. State law in Washington— and 20 other states—says minors can receive reproductive healthcare without parental consent. The Chief Sealth program is partially funded by the Washington State Healthcare Authority, which runs a program called Take Charge, which offers family planning visits, including pap smears, prescriptions for birth control, condoms, IUDs, and even, for the Bristols among us, information on “natural family planning and abstinence.”
Palin refers to an organization called Judicial Watch, which found that hundreds of people have taken advantage of the Take Charge program between 2013 and 2015. That does include a handful of 10- and 11-year-olds: six in three years, compared with hundreds of clients who are 17, 18, and 19.

Of course, if the Planned Parenthood horseshit spectacular has taught us anything, it’s that the religious right doesn’t give a single fuck about facts, but will give absolutely all of the fucks to make sure sluts get and stay pregnant as a consequence for their slut fucking. Which probably seems great when your mom is a former governor turned grifter with reality TV money falling out of her moose anus, but the rest of us live in reality where we understand that giving kids access to birth control isn’t going to make them have sex anymore or less than they were already going to. And Bristol Palin should really be the first person thinking, “You know what? Some condoms in high school probably would’ve been great. Or a pill I just take every morning because my redneck boyfriend is too embarrassed to buy rubbers at a small-town Walmart where everyone’s in everyone’s business? Even better.” Then again, Sky Dad’s up there closely monitoring our fuck-parts, so forget all that. It’s too risky. Everybody just shit out kids you don’t want. We’ll sort it out later.

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