Brigitte Nielsen Has Life By The Balls

August 6th, 2012 // 93 Comments

When you’re an international star of stage and screen like Brigitte Nielsen, you’re afforded a life of glitz and glamour that most of us can only dream about. So naturally here she is knocking back a flask of smooth, cheap, affordable Popov vodka while literally rolling around a public park in broad daylight. It’s like a deleted scene from Cinderella if Cinderella made Ivan Drago pleasure a robot before getting into bed with her. “You vill vreak this robot before you ever vreak this vagina- Vait, is that Popov vodka? I have, how you say, change of mind.”

EDIT: So I was going to use “No Easy Way Out” (below), except it didn’t have the robot. But why deny you all this awesome on a technicality? I’m not that big of a dick.

Photos: Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. mrsmass

    another Dr. Drew success story.

    • oh i know

      can’t blame dr drew– addicts often fall “off the wagon” over and over again before (or if ever) they finally bottom out. spending 21 days in a detox (ala “Celeb Rehab”) is only the first step of a LIFELONG commitment to being sober; a commitment that Brigitte (painfully) obviously has not made. i feel bad for her but only she can change her situation, not dr drew…

      • mrsmass

        i wasn’t. i think he’s a total douche nozzle and the whole premise of the show is absurd.

      • Capitalist Pancake

        Sorry – rehab in front of a camera isn’t rehab – it’s just another sad reality money maker. Celeb Rehab strikes me to about about as genuine as a Kardashian.

  2. Johnny P!

    Wow. Sad,man….

  3. Frunken

    Had to google. Her body confuses the hell out of me.

  4. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Flavor Flav
    Commented on this photo:

    now all of America knows what’s up when it comes to spit or swallow….FLAVOR FLAV!!!

  5. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Abby Normal
    Commented on this photo:

    Stay classy.

  6. Tony

    Remember when she was kind of hot?

  7. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    EricHarris
    Commented on this photo:

    lol

  8. Dick Hell

    I’m glad to see Richard Dean Anderson is shedding those extra pounds.

  9. At least she has pants on… Lord knows that mess would look like an angry baboons ass by now….

  10. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    keepcool
    Commented on this photo:

    poor girl.

    • Maureen

      I agree…this just makes me sad. My mom was an alcoholic and the expressions on BN’s face are too familiar to be in any way funny.

  11. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    superdouche
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not Brigitte Nielsen. It’s Gary Busey with breast implants, taking his mini-bar for a walk.

  12. catapostrophe

    Stills from the upcoming “I’m a Celebrity … Arrest Me for Public Intoxication”.

  13. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Inmyopinion
    Commented on this photo:

    The price of fame – ladies and gentlemen, Its sad – but thats the price of fame, Used, alone, addicted, exploited, sleep deprived, and just waiting to die.

  14. “I wish Hasselhoff would hurry up with those burgers, I’m famished.”

  15. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think that’s checkate Hasselfoff!”

  16. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    At lease she took the time to color cordinate her outfit.

  17. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    henry hill
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s got morning wood.

  18. Confusus

    “Brigitte’s not a bottomed-out drunk; she’s just European!”

    Yes, I actually watched her season on the “Surreal Life”. If you admit to having watched it, you’ll get that line.

  19. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Always disappointing when you find out they are a spitter.

  20. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, at least they didn’t snap her picture when she squatted down and took a whizz in those bushes. Come to think of it, who’d have the stomach for it?

  21. kimmykimkim

    She looks great.

  22. Capitalist Pancake

    All crap jokes about quasi celebs aside, this is really sad.

  23. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    This brings back memories of a particularly disastrous grad ceremony (FYI, I wasn’t the drunk for a change).

  24. Archie Leach

    I still wouldn’t give her no damned spare change!

  25. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank goodness there isn’t a nipslip here.

  26. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    person
    Commented on this photo:

    That is about a thousand kinds of sad.

  27. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish this was instead video, so we could watch her slurp that lougee back up again.

  28. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Her tits are so good looking even she got an erection.

  29. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    chris breezy boxing academy
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone’s had a mouthful of The Flavor of Love

  30. meh

    Police Academies are the only movies I remember her in, I think

  31. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Harvey Levin
    Commented on this photo:

    Flavor-Flavvvvvvv

    dude she is GNAR

  32. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Neo
    Commented on this photo:

    I can faintly hear Dr. Drews voice over narration now.

  33. Juano

    If she really is back on the sauce, that’s tragic. And to sit there and take photos of it, apparently for selling them to a tabloid for the purpose of gleefully commenting on the poor woman, is somewhat sickening.

    • Alcoholics feed on sympathy. Feel bad for the ppl trying to enjoy a little free time at the park with their kids rather than drunks pissing and barfing on everything, leaving their bottles, litter and broken glass everywhere. They do not respect you.

  34. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Perplexity
    Commented on this photo:

    Go figure. I always thought she was a “swallow” type of slut.

  35. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Perplexity
    Commented on this photo:

    The 2012 Alcoholics Anonymous poster.

  36. Eddie Baby

    If she didn’t have the giant stripper bolt-ons, she look like any other homeless person.

  37. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    “whatdaya want … ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz”

  38. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    “and this is where I do my business when I’m , you know , indisposed “

  39. Cock Dr

    If this is what having life by the balls looks like she had better ease up on the grip.

  40. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    duder
    Commented on this photo:

    Gollum’s undercover.

  41. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing the wind isn’t blowing !

  42. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just one little sip for Mama”

  43. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    “and another little sip for Mama”

  44. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Kono Kalakaua
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmmm , Maybe I should write a book about drinkin ‘ in the park “

  45. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Paulie MxcGonagle
    Commented on this photo:

    “that’s not vodka ! These little bottles and my double vision make it hard to tell sometimes”

  46. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Paulie McGonagle
    Commented on this photo:

    Some guys used to fight over her . Now , they fight to get away

  47. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Paulie McGonagle
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see clouds … That one looks like a marshmellow, and that one looks like a big bottle of Grey Goose, and that one looks like a baby bottle of Grey Goose, and …..

  48. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    cate
    Commented on this photo:

    There isn’t enough vodka in the world to get that Flavor Flav out of her mouth.

  49. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Paulie McGonagle
    Commented on this photo:

    “whatdiya lookin’ at ? You aint getting no of this or this ! Geez “

  50. Brigitte Nielsen Drunk In A Public Park
    Paulie McGonagle
    Commented on this photo:

    “hundred bottles of beer … you fucking take one down , some fucking bottles of beer on the wall…”

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