Brie Larson Might Be Captain Marvel
Like most people with limited to zero contact with the human vagina, I’ve spent many sexless hours wondering who’s going to play Captain Marvel including a brief stint living in fear that it might be Kristen Stewart. It was a dark time. But now Variety reports it’s probably going to be Brie Larson who I honestly didn’t even think of, which is why I write about celebrity breasts (and Ben Affleck’s makeup) for a living.
Sources tell Variety Larson is in early talks to play Captain Marvel, one of Marvel’s most popular female superheroes, in an upcoming standalone film. It’s unknown where negotiations stand, but sources have told Variety that Larson is their first choice, and that she’s leaning toward playing the part.
Marvel had no comment on the story.
No director is currently on board. Marvel, however, had always planned to have an actress lined up early, with the idea of possibly introducing her in one of its upcoming films before its “Captain Marvel” movie bows.
Of course, the real question is whether people will pay to see two hours of Brie Larson flying around in a skintight outfit (below), and the answer is my credit card already jammed into my CD tray. This is probably where it peaks for me.