Brian Williams Suspended From NBC News For 6 Months Without Pay

“Dad, why did you tell everybody you built Lena Dunham out of a burlap bag?”
“Shh, honey, the man’s taking a picture. CHEEEEESE.”

After being caught embellishing – lying, tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to – about being on a helicopter that was shot down in Iraq in 2003, Brian Williams has been officially suspended by NBC for six months without pay. The news comes on the heels of several reports that Brian Williams may have lied about other items including:

Looking “down the tube” of the RPG that shot the helicopter he wasn’t flying in or even close to in Iraq.
Taking rocket fire from Hezbollah in Israel in a different helicopter. (Sensing a theme here?)
Being robbed by a “Christmas bandit.”
And rescuing puppies from a fire. Yup.

Of course, the more serious implication that everyone’s too afraid to ask is did Brian Williams really watch his daughter’s ass get eaten? We’re all thinking it, but nobody’s lifting up the rock to find out. Including me. Is it wrong to want to be lied to sometimes? Are we not creatures of our own fantasies? Fantasies about a prominent news anchor watching his daughter’s butt get eaten apparently. I need to stop saying every thought out loud.

Photo: Getty