So Brian Williams Is Pretty Much F*cked
If you read nothing but this site, as you should, you’d probably think nothing happened yesterday but Scientology and giant breasts. Except that’s not entirely true because Vanity Fair released a fucking riveting piece on just what the hell wrong behind the scenes at NBC News culminating with Brian Williams’ six-month suspension for lying for years about being on a helicopter shot down in Iraq. It’s a great piece of long-form journalism that makes me look back at my entire editorial output in shame, but then again, Family Circus has the same effect. Anyway, one of the bombshells is that apparently Brian Williams tried to blame a brain tumor (that he didn’t have) for his “misremembering,” and even more damning is NBC’s ongoing internal investigation which doesn’t sound good:
Behind the scenes, a number of Williams’s closest friends have lobbied hard that he be allowed to return to Nightly News after his suspension. The [Richard] Esposito investigation, however, is ongoing, and people who have spoken to Esposito say his group has compiled a number of other incidents that, taken as a whole, paint a portrait of Williams as a man who has consistently burnished his stories.
So, yeah, he’s fucked. As for the punchline to this mess, Bill O’Reilly has been thoroughly proven to be lying out of his ass, and yet his ratings went up and Fox News hasn’t done shit because its audience doesn’t want to hear “facts” and votes in droves based on that proud sense of ignorance. Which isn’t so much a punchline as an accurate prediction of how most of us will die in a nuclear winter when President Trig Palin legalizes nuking Planned Parenthoods and/or gay people trying to buy wedding cakes. First, one to fuck a three-armed mutant is a rotten egg! *whips tentacle at ceiling fan, swings away*