Charlie Sheen Is Engaged To This

Because coke and money are a currency unto themselves (wait), TMZ reports Charlie Sheen is engaged to Brett Rossi, a “former” porn star if such a thing ever existed which it doesn’t. This will be Charlie’s fourth marriage, and Brett’s 800th penis to go into her for money, so I don’t need to tell you that the romance is rife, my friends. Rife like a fox. Elton?

Photos: Twitter