Bret Michaels wants to put his thorn in Jennifer Aniston’s rose

February 3rd, 2009 // 56 Comments

Also at the premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You which Celebuzz reports she didn’t even stay and watch, was Jennifer Aniston who’s got herself a new admirer in Bret Michaels. You gotta admire the man’s horribly-placed confidence. NY Daily News reports:

“Bret is really crushing on Jen,” a pal of Michaels confides. “He says she’s the kind of girl you can have a good time with, but can still take home to Mom.”

But despite the fact he’s got more STD’s than Paris Hilton duct-taped to Pamela Anderson, Bret might actually have a chance. John Mayer is starting to get sick of being a dull, ineffectual knife wielded at Brad Pitt:

“John’s goal is to keep a low profile this year, and Jen is about as far off from low-profile as you can get,” a source tells us. “He just wants to keep out of the spotlight and finally concentrate on his music.”
Mayer is working on an album tentatively titled “Battle Studies,” a followup to 2006′s “Continuum.” “He’s always in and out of the studio,” a second insider reveals. “That’s his focus.”

Of course, there’s only one legally binding way to settle this: A battle of the bands. Whoever transforms a cop car into a hot tub full of bikini babes using nothing but Aqua-Net and cock bulges wins Jennifer as his lusty wench. Because, sometimes, the old-fashioned ways are the most romantic ways. Until the cocaine wears off and Vince Neil’s all like “Hey, let’s go to Denny’s.”

Photos: Getty
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  1. Carl

    Jen has become a joke in HW.

  2. Chris lee

    This is my first time to the site and you won me over. You had me at :

    “But despite the fact he’s got more STD’s than Paris Hilton duct-taped to Pamela Anderson”

    I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. Nice job. :)

  3. Tatyana

    She’s so not hot enought for him! I think he has a crush because he can’t find the right one. I can’t see it just look at the pics. So not hot enough!!!

  4. Tatyana

    She’s so not hot enought for him! I think he has a crush because he can’t find the right one. I can’t see it just look at the pics. So not hot enough!!!

  5. I admire her and feel like if the press weren’t up to no good around her she may just surprize you with what she can do.As for her comments on angelina Jole,I agree angie is a husband stealing,low self asteem tramp who will do anything with anyone as long as you stroke her over indulged ego. Hey Angelina, enough with the baby factory and take care of the ones you already have you blood sucking,backstabbing,husband stealing bitch of a whore!
    Leave Jennifer alone folks already! Love ya babe! Yu are sooo beautiful inside and out. Why John Meyer though? You can do a lot better.

  6. Interesting site, and very organized too. Good work.

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