UPDATE: Bret Michaels is getting his ass kicked

By: The Superficial / April 23, 2010

After just recovering from an emergency appendectomy, Bret Michaels was rushed to the hospital last night after experiencing severe headaches. Turns out he suffered a brain hemorrhage and is now listed in critical condition. TMZ reports:

According to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, people who don’t receive proper medical treatment after suffering a subarachnoid hemorrhage have a 20% to 30% chance of experiencing a second bleed within the first month — and the odds of surviving a second bleed are extremely slim.
Cedars states, “Recurrent bleeding has a 70% mortality rate.”
Fortunately, Michaels is reportedly being treated in a capable medical center.
However, it appears as though Michaels is already beating the odds — Cedars reports that roughly 1/3 of people who have a subarachnoid hemorrhage die during the hemorrhage because of extensive brain damage. Obviously, Michaels has already cleared that hurdle.

As a show of support for Bret Michaels, The Superficial Writer will bang twice the normal amount of strippers tonight which will put me at a whopping 0.5 in one evening.

I should probably stretch.

UPDATE: Bret’s dad says he’s “doing good” and resting which is great because I can’t keep sexually satisfying all these groupies. Or even one. The clitoris is a myth!

Photos: Getty