Bret Michaels: ‘I Taught Charlie Sheen How To Win’

While Charlie Sheen lays the groundwork for his tour to abruptly end in a hail of coke and donkey punches because he literally has no clue what the hell he’s going to do on this thing, Bret Michaels wants everyone to know he’s the one who taught Warlock Von Tiger Blood the secrets of winning. E! News reports:

“I showed him how to lose a lot of money, and he showed me how to make a lot of money. It was fantastic,” Bret says.
The hotel hijinks occurred years ago, when the duo decided to hop a jet to the Super Bowl.
“He was in a hotel room, and he was across the hallway, and he was talking and saying something, and I could hear him trying to bust something,” recalls Michaels.
After knocking on the door asking him what’s up, Bret says Charlie replied, “Man, I just want to be a rock star and bust up this room.”
To which the Rock of Love star was happy to mentor him in the fine art of suite-trashing.
“Charlie is a rock star to me. I mean, he’s a movie star, but he’s a rock star to me. I walked in there and I was like, ‘Are you mad about something?’ He said, ‘There are a few things frustrating me right now,’ ” recounts Michaels.
“I said, ‘Well, that’s what we got to do.’ A real rock star busts stuff out of frustration. You know you don’t just decide. When you’re in a great mood, you don’t really break stuff. When you’re angry about something and have some adult beverage, [it’s] a good professional hotel room-breaking.”
The bandana-wearing singer says he then reached for a vase and the demolition began.
“So we destroyed that and we destroyed some other things and then security comes up, so we busted some more stuff, and it was awesome,” Bret remembers with a smile. “We paid for it. We did a professional destroying. It was great!”

I actually believe this because if you look at Charlie Sheen’s life, it’s almost as if he saw an episode of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels and went, “No, wait, I want to do that,” then chucked one of his twins at Brooke Mueller’s face provided I’m doing the math right. Let’s see… carry the one… multiply the mangled labia… divide by the square root of blow, minus the tits, and yep, he chucked a baby.

Photos: Splash News