Author Bret Easton Ellis wants reality star/not-an-actor Scott Disick to play Patrick Bateman in a reboot of American Psycho, thinks Tom Cruise will play a role that isn’t a 100% heterosexual karate machine and signed off Lindsay Lohan starring in an adaptation of one his books, so clearly this a man everyone should listen to in regards to casting. His latest screed involves shitting all over the potential casting of Matt Bomer as Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Your Mom Still Masturbates because he’s openly gay. Via E! News:
“Okay. Let’s finalize this. Matt Bomer is totally hot and a very good actor. He is NOT right for Christian Grey and it complicates the role,” Ellis tweeted. “I don’t care how good an actor you are but being married to another man complicates things for playing CG…Matt Bomer is NOT about discrimination. It’s about an intensely straight actor wanting absolutely to screw Ana Steele…the most popular book on the planet having Matt Bomer–a gay actor–play Christian Grey is absolutely ludicrous. Why?”
And that’s just the start.
Ellis continued, “Jesus, the homophobia over Matt Bomer not being Christian Grey is so unsettling and aesthetically retarded. He’s NOT right for Christian G. Okay I’ll say it. Matt Bomer isn’t right for Christian Grey because he is openly gay. He’s great for other roles but this is too big a game. And I think if Matt Bomer wants the role which I doubt the international press tour will be an embarrassing fiasco. He’s not CG. Never…I am NOT discriminating Matt Bomer because of his sexuality. Fifty Shades of Grey demands an actor that is genuinely into women. Get it?!?”
Look, I know absolutely nothing about Fifty Shades of Grey except for something about pube-pulling – *downloads to Kindle* – but I do know about women, the book’s target audience, so let me see if I can explain to Bret here why they couldn’t care less who plays Christian Grey: Women are sexist pigs who just want to a face full of eye candy. To them, men are nothing but pieces of meat who are supposed to cook and clean and give them sex at the drop of the hat because they bought us shoes. They make more money than us for doing the same jobs, they control all levels of government and private industry and in the 1960s, they could rape you at work just because the coffee pot was empty. They’re Nazis, Bret, NAZIS!